Saying goodbye (and good riddance) to 30

The last 24 hours of being 30 have not been my favorite. Last night at about this time, I started to feel... not right.  The thermometer confirmed it - I had a fever.  And my stomach started rolling.  I was NOT happy.

It's never fun to be sick, but I feel like we've had more than our fair share lately.  Let me relate the last 2 weeks...

Saturday, October 24 - Lily puked on me, Chase puked before he took me to the hospital, and I birthed our 3rd child.

Monday, October 26 - We came home and thought all was well.  Nope.  Lily puked again.

Wednesday, October 28 - Lily's fever finally broke for good and she was FINALLY able to hold baby Spencer, because she no longer had a fever!

Monday, November 2 - Connor puked late that night.  And puked.  And puked into early Tuesday morning.  Poor baby!   He went through 5 pairs of pajamas, and Chase and I each went through 3 changes of clothes in an effort to not expose Spencer to what Connor was fighting.

Wednesday, November 4 - Connor's fever finally broke late in the day.

Saturday, November 7 - I come down with a fever late in the evening.

Which brings us to today, November 8.  I seem to be coming out of this illness having experienced only aches, a fever and a yucky tummy.  Tomorrow I will be 31 years old, and we are going to have a gloriously HEALTHY start to 31!  (I pray and I'm trusting we will, right Lord?)

But in the midst of hard things, there is always something to learn, things to appreciate, and a silver lining if only one looks hard enough.  So here is what I have learned, looking back...

THIS GUY IS MY ROCK STAR!

This picture was taken only a couple of hours after Chase had come down with the nastiness that I'm recovering from.  Spencer was just born, and here his daddy is with him, even though daddy wasn't feeling well..  I was in NO WAY sympathetic enough to him while he was convalescing.  I may have been in labor, but he felt like he was going to die (if he felt anything like I did when I was coming down with it).  And he muscled through.  He encouraged me, stood by my side, and celebrated Spencer's birth in the midst of feeling horrible.  I don't know how he did it.

Not only that, but he took care of all of us when we came home from the hospital (he was feeling better by then), took a sick day to help care for Connor, and waited on me hand and foot while also caring for Lily and Connor while I have been sick.  And the ultimate proof of his total awesomeness: he reached out to catch Connor's vomit at one point. With. Bare. Hands. And because of his quick reach, I didn't have to clean up a mess on the carpet.

Sorry to get graphic with you, but I need to remember and appreciate all this man has done to serve his family in the last few weeks.  He's a keeper,and he's mine, and I'm keeping him forever!

Thank you, Chase, for the way you serve us.  We are so blessed to have you, and we know it!  I have much to learn from you.

Happy Halloween from my 3 favorite little ones.

And then there are these three amazing little creatures.  Spencer has stayed healthy through it all, thanks to the amazing antibodies provided by mommy milk.  (Wasn't God awesome when he made mommy milk provide protection to tinies?!?)  Lily and Connor may have been sick in the last couple of weeks, but they were sick with a simple virus - the kind that we didn't even need to call the doctor for, because it was just a fever and tummy troubles that would eventually pass.

These kids are healthy.  Their immune systems are strong, so their bodies can fight off junk like this.  And you know, even when they felt crummy, they were still delightful to be around (which is more than I can say for myself...).

I don't ever want to live these last 2 weeks again.  They have been hard physically and emotionally.  But, we have survived them, and we are looking forward to good, healthy days to come.  Days in which we're closer as a family because we've had to care for each other and days in which we'll cherish our health in a new way.

Goodbye 30.  This last patch has been particularly rough, but it's over and 31 is here with no mistakes (or sickness) in it yet!

Introducing Spencer Lewis Francl

He's here.  Blessedly here!  And isn't he handsome?!?!

Spencer Lewis Francl.  
Born Oct. 24, 2015 at 5:57pm. 
8lbs, 5oz.  21 inches long. 

His name means "Provider" or "Dispenser" and "Famous Warrior."  His middle name being for, of course, C.S. Lewis.  We settled on his name the day we found out we were pregnant.  I knew it was a boy, and I knew his name, which solved many a late-night discussion for Chase- we didn't have to rehash names, ever.  I can't explain how I knew.  I just did.

I had no idea that he would come on Saturday. In fact, by 10am I was pretty sure he wasn't going to come until Wednesday, the 28th (his due date).  Lily had been up early Saturday morning from about 2:30-4:30.  She was emotional and whiny - uncharacteristic for her to be up in the night, but we didn't know what was going on with her.

I got up with the kids at 7:15am, and we watched cartoons, made pancakes and bacon, and generally enjoyed a lazy Saturday morning.  A little after 10, I realized I was supposed to be at a friend's baby shower (and if I wasn't there, everyone would assume I was in labor) so I headed to the shower and had a wonderful time with dear friends.

I got home at about 11:30, just after Chase had put Lily to bed, and she didn't seem to be herself.  She woke up about noon, and I went into her room to cuddle with her... and she vomitted on me and herself and bed and everywhere!

My poor baby! No wonder she was up in the night! No wonder she kept saying her tummy hurt!  No wonder!  She can be dramatic, so I never know when it's real... I hate it when I miss things like that.

We got her cleaned up, got her bedding going in the wash, got her settled with a movie and comfy clothes and blankets and all manner of sickness-comforts.  Then Chase started to look pale.  Oh, and our washer backed up into our shower.  Yeah, that was awesome.

By 1:00pm or so, I was singing Lily to sleep in our bedroom while Chase was looking more pale by the minute in the recliner.  (Connor was napping normally, thankfully, and my mom had come over to watch the Huskers lose to Northwestern.)

As I sang Lily to sleep, what had been Braxton-hicks turned into not-Braxton-hicks-contractions.  I could still walk and talk through them, but I didn't really want to.  I got in the shower (between loads of laundry, which thankfully, hadn't backed up in the shower since that first load) in an effort to relax and calm down, and there was no doubt:  we were going to the hospital SOON.

By 3:30pm (after a lot of instructions to Mom like, "this pile of bedding has been washed, this one hasn't been" and "here's how to put a duvet cover back on a duvet" and "here are the medical releases should you need them" and "here are pet-feeding instructions") we were on the road headed to the hospital.  Chase had thrown up before we left, but I had him driving, a bucket along, and a promise that he'd pull over if he needed the bucket.

The 30 minute drive to the hospital never seemed so long... for either of us.  We arrived at about 4:00pm.

Bless the nurses who saw me walk in and put me straight into a room without triage!  We got the IV in, got changed into a gown, did vitals, got checked (I was at about 5.5cm) and then I stood up to head to the whirlpool tub (my favorite place to labor).

My water broke.  I nearly swore out loud.  I assure you, I swore in my head.

I'm telling you who have never done this before - there can be for many women (and is for me) a drastic difference between laboring with water and laboring without water.  DRASTIC.  I knew I was in for it.  And I had no idea how long it would take.

They tell me I was only in the tub for 30-40 minutes before I said, "Get the doctor!"  And I was right.  The doctor walked in at about 5:30, and Spencer joined the outside world at 5:57pm.  Blessedly, it was only about 25 minutes of pushing, and it (ironically) felt like even less than that to me.

That's the doctor who delivered Connor behind him -
I love the expression on her face!  It was how I was feeling,
though not what my face looked like!

I went from about 5.5cm to having a baby in my hands in 2 hours.  I went from no contractions to having a baby in my hands in 6 hours.  I went from washing puke out of my hair and off of bedding/clothing/carpet to holding my newborn in 6 hours.

The shakes attacked afterwards (as they almost always do) and took a looong time to go away.  I bled a bit more than they like to see, so it was after 10:00pm before we really got peace and quiet.

Notice the wet spot on Chase's shoulder - it was from the cold damp
cloth the nurses put across his shoulders when he nearly passed out
while I was pushing.  Chase took a break for a contraction, changed
into a short sleeve shirt, and splashed cool water on his face in order
to be able to come back for the grand finale.  Thankfully I didn't
realize what he was doing - I just knew a nurse stepped in for a minute.

And now... now it is 1:13am.  I have beheld his sweet face for little over 7 hours, and my heart could not be more full.

A healthy newborn.
A healthy (recovering) mama.
A daddy who is finally feeling a bit better.
A labor short enough (unlike my other marathon labors of 17 hours and 26 hours) that my ill husband could make it through.
A dear friend who came at just the moment I needed her support to finish strong.
A dear friend who came at just the moment we needed her to help us settle in.
Family nearby, ready, willing, and eager to take sick children so we could focus where we needed to.
Children, brave beyond their years, who went with Gram even though all they wanted was mommy.
A call in to have our sewer looked at - at least it's not snowing or frozen yet like the last time it backed up!
Likely a 24-hour virus, just the kind I almost never get, and we should be through it by tomorrow.
Great antibodies being shared with our newborn through my system so he won't get sick.
A place to give birth that is equipped to handle excess bleeding and make sure mommy (and daddy and baby) are ok each step of the way.

I could go on, but I should go to bed.

We are blessed beyond all reason.

Lord,
Thank you for Spencer's safe arrival.  I fought with You in the shower as I wept over the timing.  I fought with You in the whirlpool tub as I wrestled anger over my water breaking "too early."  I fought with Your divine design as I pushed our little miracle into the world.

You are Creator, God.  You had a plan.  You have a plan.  And tonight, as I lay down to sleep, teach me yet again to rest in Your plan, in Your grace, in Your peace.  You know better than I know; Your ways are higher than mine; I will try to remember that in the future...
Amen.

*I wrote that late last night.  Here are a few of our favorite moments from today*

The Francl siblings.

Connor surprised us - we thought he'd likely be indifferent about Spencer.
Instead, he was as smitten as his sister was and wanted to hold his brother
all the time.  For the most part, Connor was very gentle.

He was gentle until we tried to take Spencer away, at which point
Connor would hold on to his brother as if his life depended on it.
I hope this is a sign of the friendship for years to come!

My little mini-mommy watched everything and is ready for her
baby brother to come home.  Look at that paci-magic she's working!

*sigh* These little ones are so very, very dear.

Look out, world!  The Francls are now a family of 5!

Settling in

It's been 38 weeks...  And I'm ready for it to be over.  No surprise there, really.  What woman at 38 weeks doesn't want to just go ahead and get the delivery business over and meet the little one who's been growing inside?  

I have thought since the beginning of this whole experience that this little guy was going to be coming early - before his due date.  Really, any time after 37 weeks is what I've been preparing myself for.  So here we are a week after that, and I'm still pregnant.  And I could be for another 3 weeks or so (any time between 38 weeks and 41 weeks is considered full-term).  Who knows?

I want to be impatient.  I want to rush things along.  I want to get this show on the road and get the pain and agony over with so I can enjoy the peace of knowing it all went well and my family all gets to enjoy baby.  

My laundry is caught up to within a day.  My dishes are [almost] always done.  My house hasn't been this clean for this length of time (we're talking like a week!) in I can't tell you how long.  I'm ready.  But then...

Then I think about how easy it is to feed the little guy right now; how even though I wake up multiple times a night to roll over, at least I can go right back to sleep and not have to stay up for an unknown amount of time to nurse the baby; how I can easily pack up my children and head to the park for an hour; how I can prep a meal while daddy and the older two play in the living room; how I can hold all 3 of my children at the same time.  

There is much to be thankful for in these final days.  There are so many reasons not to rush things (not least of which is the last bit of development baby boy needs) and to just enjoy this last little bit of pregnancy.  So I'm trying.  In spite of the back/hip pain... and heartburn... and general discomfort... and...  

And anyway, I'm not really due for another 2 weeks, so bring it on pregnancy!  I'm going to [try] to enjoy it.  :)

All she wants is to be a mommy

Pregnancy has begat many interesting conversations with Lily, who just turned 4 a week ago.  She's intelligent, an observer, a thinker, terribly sweet, and very attentive to all things baby-related this time around. She wasn't quite as attentive when she was 2 and I was pregnant with Connor, but this time around is a different story.  

I wrote last month about how Lily was working out HOW the baby was going to get out of my tummy.  You can read about it toward the end of this post: Holding on for dear life.  The gist of it was that I told her that I would have to push the baby out kind of like pooping, but that the doctor would catch the baby - the baby wouldn't end up in the toilet.  That satisfied her, for a time...

So last week we were sitting at the table talking over our lunch, and Lily looked at me quizzically.  "Mommy, does the baby come out the front bum or the back bum?"  (You see, when you potty train a girl, you have to be careful to teach about the "front bum" and the "back bum.")  I just looked at her.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?  I mean, she's 4 years old and a couple of days and I'm having this conversation?!?  What kinds of conversations am I going to be having with her when she's 11, 12, 13, 17, 21?  Maybe we'll have had all the complicated ones talked out by then so we can have more simple conversations when she's an adult like, "Pass me the pink marker, please." and, "What color should I make the princesses dress in this picture I'm coloring?"  *sigh*  

Those deep brown eyes still gazed at me intently waiting for the truth she knew I'd share, because that's what mommies do.

"Well, honey, God gave mommies a special 'middle bum' that is just for babies to come out of.  It's in between the front bum and the back bum, and only just babies come out of it."  

Satisfied she went back to eating, and (blessedly) conversation turned to smoother waters.

I thought the topic was settled.  I would go to the hospital, I would push the baby out of my middle bum with a little help from Daddy and the doctor.  Lily and Connor would stay with Grandma while I did that, then they would come visit at the hospital, and we wouldn't have to talk about this any more.  Then yesterday...

We're soaking up all this amazing fall weather we've been having - 60's and 70's with little wind and perfect for playing at the park.  After an hour of running around at the park, I loaded the kids up in the stroller and started for home.  About 1/2 way home, Lily turns around and asks, "Mommy, when I'm a mommy, will I have a middle bum?"  

The shock at each of these new questions is starting to wear off...

"Honey, you already have a middle bum.  God made girls with middle bums so they could have babies.  But you won't have a baby out of your middle bum until you're much older and married.  Like 25 or 30.  Like Mommy's age."

And then came the root that begat all these questions, "But Mommy," Lily said as the tears welled in her eyes and made her voice quiver, "I want to be a mommy NOW!"  

Her sincerity was both heartening and heartbreaking in the sweetest way!  A pure desire to give love to a little one - not that she really has any idea what kind of love a newborn needs.  The good news, I told her, is that she doesn't really need to be a mommy right now - she can leave that to me.  But what I need for her to do is be the best big sister to our Bitty Bear who will be here very soon.  I need her to love him, to help take care of him, to protect him.  

She's going to be SO good at it, too.  I know, because I watch her with the little brother she already has.  She is learning to be patient with Connor, to share with him, to have fun with him, to help him, to teach him, and to be an example of a loving sibling. 

I've wondered about her sensitive, sweet, gentle spirit that tends toward perfection and requires much assurance and affirmation - will she be ok as the oldest?  At this point, I wouldn't call her a terribly confident child in situations she's never been in before.  How will she hold her own with two younger brothers?  But then there are magical moments where I see her teach, lead, yearn to love more.

She will be fine.  She will be better than fine...

She IS a marvelous older sister and with a little encouragement and direction, I think she always will be.

*Photo credits to Kathy Chase

Happy Birthday and so much more

If I would blog once or twice a week, it would be so much less overwhelming and so much more easy to pick what to put on each post.  But that's not life right now, so I guess I'll just be grateful that I have so much I WANT to put in my highly-irregular posts because that means that there is so much I want to remember about this time in my life.  Also, I should take more pictures.  But I'll just go with what I've got for now.  Here we go...

The 4th Birthday

So we now have a 4 year old in the house, and let me tell you, she knows she's 4.  She sat in a big-girl chair at Grandma's house today, she can do things herself (like scoop an enchillada out of the pan), and she thinks she ought to be able to boss her little brother around.  We'll be working on that last one for a while, I'm sure.  

Lily's 4th birthday celebration has been spread all through the month.  It started earlier this month with a Francl cousin birthday party that started at the river and ended at Chase's brother's house...

The weather and water were perfect, and the river was SO MUCH FUN!!!

Not 4 yet, but we celebrated anyway.  She didn't mind!

The birthday cousins (plus photo-bombing BJ).

She got the candles out without a problem.  Whew!

Presents are ALWAYS exciting!

We also celebrated at play group with Lily's friends, on the day before her birthday at our friend's house in Texas, on her birthday on the trip home from Texas, and on the day after her birthday when Mommy and Daddy gave her her BIG present:

Let's Go Fly a Kite

The other day was terribly windy, and, fortuitously, I cleaned out the cupboard that held the kite one of the kids got for Easter or something.  So we went and flew a kite, and it was the perfect day for it!

It was such a perfect, windy, blustery day
that even Connor could get the kite up in the air.

A Trip to Texas

What do you do when you're 35 weeks pregnant, have 2 children already, and have tons to do?  Leave for a week and go to Texas!  A college girlfriend got married last weekend, and we couldn't miss it.  That, and we had other friends with a big house, big hearts, and great hospitality waiting for us.  If not for the great gathering of those we love there, I wouldn't have tempted fate with the trip.  But since the group of us hadn't been together since college graduation 8 years ago, wild horses (or pregnancy, or a 13 hour drive with small children) couldn't keep me away.

Starting out, we were all optimistic!  Reality set in about 2 hours later,
and 8 hours from our destination that night.  We made it, and made it
home better than we did going down, but I would not recommend a trip
with a 4 year old and 18 month old and pregnant wife and patient husband
unless it's absolutely necessary.  In this case, it was absolutely necessary,
and we made the best of it.  The DVD player in the car helped immensely!

Finally together again, after just 8 years...  Seriously, we need to do this more often!

We had delicious food while we were there -
these are desserts I had with the girls at a chocolate
bakery nearby the wedding venue.

The ceremony was outside and it was beautiful.  We sat in the 2nd row, but Lily really wanted to be in the first row.  Since it was outside and we were on the outside of the row, we scooted her chair up to give her a front-row view.  With her recent concerns about picking out a husband, Lily was very attentive to this whole wedding-business whereby a boy and girl become a husband and a wife.  After the processional, Lily leaned back to ask her dad, "Why are there so many husbands up there?"  ...I should have explained groomsmen to her before hand.

As they prepared for the ring exchange portion of the ceremony, I leaned forward and let Lily know that they were going to give each other rings like Mommy and Daddy have that let everyone know they are husband and wife.  Lily's eyes got big and she sat up in her chair and turned her FULL attention to what was going on up front.  It was very sweet!

Connor had a little to add to the ceremony too.  Mostly loud toots that he let out during the prayers.  I guess I can be thankful he didn't laugh after he let them, right?

The wedding was a blast, and my favorite part
was having my college friends meet my kids.  They have
loved my kids from afar, and they finally got to see
what wonderful little creatures I get to spend my days with.

And who doesn't love a little dancing?

Reality check: when on a long car trip with kids, screen time rules
go out the window.  We did read books, play with stuff from busy bags
that I carefully packed after some extensive Pinterest research, and we
ate endless snacks.  But seriously.  DVD players rock.

She's 4! Can you even believe it? Taken in a McDonalds
somewhere in Oklahoma, this picture is now one of my
favorites of her.  She is amazing!

Habits to Remember

Lately, Connor has become terribly cuddly.  I don't know if he knows there's a tiny baby coming who will take up much cuddle time, so he's getting his in now.  Or maybe he's just hit an age or stage where snuggling is more fun because his attention span is longer.  Or maybe he's just realizing how much he loves us and uses cuddles and snuggles to show it rather than putting it into words.  I don't really know.  But in any case, he's been WAY more snuggly lately.  Especially to Lily.

For especially the last 2 weeks, he's needed her to snuggle him in order to be content in the evenings.  We sit down to read or the kids sit with their dad to watch a few minutes of football, and Connor climbs off of my lap or Chase's and onto Lily's. These 3 pictures were taken 3 days in a row...

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

As I look at these all together, he also needs his bear with him and his blanket and his plug.  These are his comfort things - his plug, his blanket, his bear and his sister.  Isn't that marvelous?!?

Ok, this next one is about Lily, and it's the funniest thing.  My kids get to spend every Thursday with their Grandma while I work.  They love it.  I'm often shooed out Grandma's door when I drop them off with Lily commenting, "Mom, go to work."  Obviously, Grandma's house is a wonderful place where much fun is had.

Grandma started doing these "puppet shows" with a bunch of random stuffed animals and beanie babies that she found in a tote in the garage of my sister's stuff she had saved.  Among the animals was a beanie raccoon that loved to go to the "park" and go down the "slide" in the puppet shows.  The shows were so common and repetitive that Connor could do the actions for them with the appropriate animal looooong before he could actually talk.

The raccoon, though, became a favorite, and grew a personality outside of the puppet shows.  Raccoon now goes everywhere with the kids when they're at Gram's house and has much to say (via Gram's interpretation) about activity.  Except last week they lost racoon!  Mom was getting seriously worried because she couldn't find raccoon after almost a full week of waiting for him to turn up.  However, we stopped by one afternoon when Gram wasn't there, and Lily spotted the devious little raccoon in a corner...

Lily and raccoon when she found him.  Whew!

I love how little brains attach onto some random thing - something simple and usually free - and it becomes a whole new world of exploration and adventure that occupies hours.  Cardboard boxes, playdoh, paper and crayons, a stick and a bug, rocks thrown into water, a stuffed animal, a blanket, a pillow - these and many more are magical things to children whose imaginations aren't yet spoiled by reality.  What a blessing and what fun!

Remembering the Day

Lily was born 30 years, to the day, after my older brother, Chet.  My mother and I became mothers on the same day 30 years apart, and I will always cherish that for many reasons.  It may seem like a silly little thing, but since my brother has been gone for 16 years now, this is one way he lives on every year.  He and Lily share their day - it turns sweet and celebratory a day that might otherwise be somewhat bitter and melancholy to remember.

Lily helped put flowers on Uncle Chet's grave this year.

Holding on for dear life

I can't quite let it go.  I just can't yet.  (Also, I found my camera and the stars have aligned such that I have time and energy to write tonight - the house is clean, the laundry is caught up, the kids are in bed, the dishes are done, and it's only 9:12.  Truly a miracle!)  So here are some things we did this summer that I loved.

Also, I'll include some Lilyisms and Connor stories...

The Pool and Marriage

Ready for the pool - toys, sunglasses and all.

This summer Lily has thought through many serious things.  Things beyond her years, truly.  A few weeks ago, we were all sitting at supper, and she sighed this really heavy sigh.  "When I'm 6, I'll have to pick a husband - Roman or Eli or Noah."  Chase and I looked across the table at each other.  I said, "Oh, honey, you don't have to decide that now."  "But Mom when I'm 6, I'll have to pick a husband - Roman or Eli or Noah."  Chase tried, "Lily, you'll meet lots of other boys too.  Those boys are nice, but you won't have to decide for a long time and you'll know other boys by then."  The concern lasted a few more minutes until we convinced her that she could put off such a big decision until she was older, like 20 or 25 like her Aunt Kim.

Gah!  I can hardly handle the cuteness!

The pool this year was fun, especially after Lily discovered she could swim by herself where she couldn't touch as long as she had her "floaty" (Puddle Jumper Life vest) on.  For the most part, she stayed nearby, but I didn't have too worry about her too much because she hated for her face to be under the water, and she was wearing a life jacket.

Connor, a very different personality than his sister.

Unlike Lily, Connor wasn't cautious or nervous about the water really.  But he also wasn't terribly interested in it, for the most part.  He was ok to splash around in the shallow or play basketball with Mommy or Daddy in the deep for 15 minutes or a half an hour, but after that, he needed other things to distract him.  Other kids' toys, especially those water squirter things, were always popular.  He and I spent a lot of time sitting at the picnic tables while Chase and Lily actually swam.  And he often checked the unlocked lockers in the main pool area for the life guards.  Once he even found a dime (total score)!

Not what we expected, thank God!

Here's what 10 years can look like.  10 years - can you believe it?!?

On our anniversary we talked about what we would have thought if someone had told us where we'd be 10 years from now, or even more so 15 years from when we first started dating way back in high school.  We agreed that to simply know the end would have cheapened the process of getting here, and we likely would have been disappointed in ourselves had we not experienced each step of the way and the influences that have made each choice right for us.  All told, we are very happy 10 years later, and acknowledge that we're blessed beyond measure.  May we never take that for granted!

The County Fair

RIDES!!!!

Can we talk for a minute about the county fair and how much fun it is to go there?!?  I think we were there every day of the 3 days this year.  Maybe we only went 2 days, but we went twice on the third day, so... yeah.  We met dear friends there on kids' day and the littles got to ride for free for a little while!  It was hot, but that's all part of the experience, right?  Above, the two older littles in the front and the two younger in the back riding their first ride of the year together.

Dilly bar!

 After rides in the heat of the day, we stopped in the 4-H building (which is blessedly air conditioned) for a Dilly bar.  Connor had never had one, and Lily has only had one or two in her life, so this was a special treat, and cooling and delicious after being out in the heat. Clearly Connor was pleased.

My brave little boy.

Let me tell you about the above ride.  It's the one that is in the little kid section of the fair's carnival and the dragons go up in the air and spin around.  Connor kept taking me to this ride, (he doesn't talk much) telling me "Eh, eh, eh." Which meant, "I want to go on this one, Mom."  I had both kids with me, so I took Connor inside the little gate to put him on the ride and turned to ask Lily if she wanted in with him.  She was still standing outside the gate.  She literally wouldn't even come inside the gate with me while I put Connor on for fear that she'd accidentally have to go on too.  He rode all by his big boy self in that dragon, arm propped on the side like he has it, hardly cracking a smile, pleased as punch with himself that he could handle this all by himself.  He is one confident, daring little 16 month old.

Sharing the joy with siblings.

I love the above picture.  I can't tell you why, or explain what exactly it is that I love about it.  But I feel like it captures a bit of the relationship of these two creatures I get to claim as my kids.  They get along, and have really done quite well enjoying each other.  We have sibling disagreements, but more often than that I hear giggling from one or the other or both as they play together or chase each other around the house.  They gang up together against the dog or the cat (which I, of course, put a stop to if I catch them).  They invent games that elicit giggling fits, and when I peek in to see what they're doing I'm shocked because I'm sure one is going to kill the other.  But somehow they're gentle and know what each other can handle.  It's not all roses, don't get me wrong.  But already there is a love and respect there that I hope and pray we can nurture throughout their lives to full fruition into adult friendship.

Cotton Candy - the Achilles heel of me and my girl.

There has always been 1 fair food that I have to get every year.  It's just how it is, you know.  And mine has always been cotton candy.  I have a girl who has the same opinion, and we got possibly the largest bag of cotton candy I'd ever seen this year!  (Here's a tip - if you don't want to eat it all in the same day, tie the bag up tight and stick it in the fridge.  It will keep for up to a week!)  We couldn't even get through it all in the next week, but we sure tried!

The end of summer, really

1st paddle boat ride for the boy.

I love that we have little lakes around here and camps and friends with cabins.  My kids get to enjoy the pool, the lake, the sand, and everything in between.  This was a great day with a bunch of our friends at the lake to round out the close of summer.  It may have been a little chilly, but that didn't stop these three from splashing around in the lake!

Books!  I love that they love books!

Just in the last few months, probably since about 15 months old, Connor has taken an interest in books.  Praise be!  He is learning things left and right and knows so many animal sounds and can say some of the names.  Lately he has been totally enthralled with airplanes.  We saw one in the sky over the pool about 2 weeks before it closed, and every time in that last two weeks that we went to the pool, he'd point to the sky where we saw it and say "vroommmm" over and over and over and over and over and over again.  He's also liking trucks, bikes, scooters, tractors, basically anything with wheels.  Oh, and helicopters.  He loves those too right now.

Lilyisms, the best ones yet...

Lily has not only been working through the husband issue this summer, but as my belly has grown, she's been trying to figure out all this baby business.  She remembers when Connor nursed, so she knows that babies get their milk from their mommies.  For most of the summer she was satisfied with the idea that the baby came out of mommy at the hospital and that daddy and the doctor helped mommy get the baby out.  But last week, that answer was no longer going to suffice.  She pushed, specifically, and there was no way to avoid it...

"Mommy, but HOW does the baby get out of your tummy at the hospital?"  I looked into those big, rich, deep, brown, inquisitive eyes and told myself that I would never lie to her and that it was time to dive into the HOW.  "Well, you know how when you poop you have to kind of push the poop out?" I said.  The brown eyes nodded.  "Well, Mommy will have to push the baby out of her buns, kind of like when you push out poop.  [At this instant, I realize that she might think that I birth babies into the toilet!]  But I won't push the baby out into the toilet!  The doctor will catch the baby and wrap him up and give him to mommy to hold."  We got out pictures of Lily taken *right* after she was born, one even shows the umbilical cord still attached, and we talked about the umbilical cord and why babies inside mommies have it and why it gets cut and how it doesn't hurt and why we have belly buttons and what happens after the baby is born (clean up, cuddles, bath, nursing, dressing, checking vitals, etc).  

I was proud of myself last week.  She was ready, she understood, we had pictures.  I set it up in such a way that someday when she's ready, we can get into the rest of the anatomy and it will all make sense.  *Self-congratulatory pat on the back for me*

Then today, when I'm completely exhausted and Connor just got up from what should have been a 3-hour nap after only 1 hour and 15 minutes, Lily asks, "Mommy, how did the baby get in your tummy?"  

WHAT?!?!?!?!?  Can I not catch a break here?  Seriously.  I mean, I love that she is trying to figure out the world.  I love that she asks me these things.  I love that I get to experience how her brain is connecting the dots.  But do I not get a week off every now and then from hard-to-answer questions?  And shouldn't this one come when she's like a pre-teen or teen or something?  How about I just let her A&P class take care of it?!?

"Well, honey, God put the baby in there when the baby was so teeny tiny we could hardly even see him."  Little brown eyes turn to my older brown eyes to confirm that there is truth there.  Satisfied we get to talk about how our Bitty Bear has grown from a teeny tiny little baby to now being over 4 lbs.  

Whew.  Children are really amazing.  It's killing me that I am not blogging as often, because I feel like there is so much of their little lives I will forget as they get older.  But then, too, I want to spend my life enjoying them at each stage they experience rather than always looking back, yearning for what once was.  But there is value in recording a few things here and there to remember, right?

The other night Lily was making up a song as she sat on my lap.  She sang, "Mommy is great!  Mommy is fun!  Mommy is fun in her own way."  Chase and I just laughed.  Good to know I'm fun "in my own way."  She's not even 4 yet.  Where did she get that?

I can't wait till Connor actually starts putting words to his thoughts.  I can see him thinking, always processing and figuring out the world around him.  Language is there for him - he understands SO much, just about everything, really.  But he chooses to speak very little.  It will come, and when it does I feel like I'll understand him so much better.  Until then, though, I love to snuggle him in the morning when he wakes up.  I love that he loves to be outside.  I love how he still puts his little hands palm-up at his sides when he makes his high-pitched, "Eh?" that means "I don't know."  I love that he hits his chest to make the gorilla sound, and that he pinches his nose to make the goose "honk" sound.  

There is so very much to love.  I hope that you, if you've made it this far in this post, are finding the things to love in your life, and are cherishing and fighting for and defending them.  There are lies in this world that will try to convince you that such things are nuisances, financial burdens, not worth the effort, or not quite as valuable as your own comfort.  Lies.  There is no greater gift. 

Summer's end

It's drawing to a close with children in backpacks smiling through first-day-of-school jitters filling my Facebook news feed.  Summer 2015 is nearly over.  And there is great blessing in that (most notably that my due date draweth nigh!), and there is great sadness (so many things we'll never get to do again with our 3 year old girl and our 1 year old boy).  But change and time passing are part of life, so I guess we will just roll with it.

I was going to do a post about the wonderful time we had at the county fair, but I can't seem to find my camera.  It's here somewhere, because I took a picture with it just last night, but in this house there are many things that I simply cannot find.  It'll turn up eventually.  Probably on Monday.  Third trimester will do that to you...

As I walked around the house tonight and looked at all of the out-of-place things, I thought to myself, Is picking that up worth the heartburn caused simply by bending over too much?  No.  I'll do it another day.  Monday seems to be that day lately - cleaning/laundry day.  I get a lot done and the house looks pretty good by about 4pm Monday afternoon.  It's all down-hill from there for the next 6 days, so if you're going to drop in, please come by on Monday in the late afternoon.

So here are some things from the last couple of weeks that are not the fair...

Let's start out with this handsome little dude.  He's 29.5 weeks along right now, and my doctor tells me he's big for his age - 85%+ in all of his measurements.  He's healthy and strong, and if motherly instincts are right at all, he'll be here sooner than his due date of October 28.  I'm planning for more like October 18, but only time will tell.  

I cannot wait for the day when I get to post a color picture of him taken with my phone or camera, and then I'll get to tell you his name.  This child has been named since the day I saw two lines on that pregnancy test, and the day we get to reveal that to the world will be one of the top 3 days of my life.  There is nothing that compares to those 24 hours after you first meet your child with no belly between you.

Despite my political background, I rarely post things of a political nature on here... at least, I think that's true.  But I have to say at this point how very real all the news about Planned Parenthood selling baby parts has been to me.  I literally cannot watch the footage - it makes me physically ill, and I just can't do it.  

Here's the bottom line - either unborn babies are human or they are not.  If they are, then they deserve to be defended to the full extent of the law as is required of the law by any other human.  In other words, you don't get to remove or revoke the unalienable rights of the unborn baby (I'm thinking the right to life here...) simply because the mother "has rights."  In the same way that both husbands and wives who are divorcing have equal rights, so, too, then ought unborn, unwanted babies and their mothers have equal rights. 

And if these unborn babies are not determined to be humans, then you have to establish a logical case that they are not human.  Is humanity determined by being wanted by a parent? By physical size? By age? By location?  By independent viability?  Or some other factor?  If another factor, then what, exactly, makes me human and my unborn child not.  

Some of you reading this may disagree wholeheartedly with me on this, and if so, please email me!  I'd LOVE to get a straight answer about how your definitions of humanity differ from mine and why you think what you think.  (Please don't send me an accusatory diatribe about how I don't love or support women in hard situations - anyone who knows me at all knows that's simply not true.  I, myself, when I found out I was pregnant with my first was hit by the awesome, "Oh my God.  I can't change this... did I really want this?" moment, and I understood, emotionally, why abortion is an option - I don't morally agree with it, but truly, I understand.  And I was in a loving, supporting environment and actually TRYING to get pregnant.  I get it.  I do.)  I don't have to agree with you, and I can promise you that you won't change my mind (and likely I won't change yours), but I really just want to understand where and how we differ in our thought process.  Where does our logic diverge?    

Moving on... 

We got to hang out with this sweet little guy and his older brother the other day, and Lily was thrilled to pieces to have a chance to practice up for the coming of her new little brother.  In fact, today in the car she told me how lucky she will be to have 2 little brothers and how she's going to be the best big sister in the world.  I could not agree more!

*Sigh*  I love this picture.  My two little bookworms chilling out on big sister's bed reading books while I put away laundry.  It was glorious for the 4 minutes it lasted!  Connor has finally come around to enjoy books in the last few months (unlike his sister who loved to be read to from her birth).  They will both sit and read with someone or will pick up books and "read" to themselves.  It does this mama's heart such good.  <3

The other day while we were sitting at lunch, I asked Lily to make a funny face and I would send it to Daddy at work.  This is what I got.  :)

When I asked Connor the same thing, this is what he did for his picture to send to Daddy.  Evidently he wanted Daddy to know that we all think he's #1!

Today the kids and I went with my mom to visit her mom.  Just 2 weeks ago we buried my grandpa, so this was the first visit to Great Grandma's house where Great Grandpa wasn't there too.  It went very well, and I'm pleased to say that I think everyone is adjusting in a healthy way.  The kids played very well, and it was so nice to see them get to play with Great Grandma since she could play with them rather than constantly have to be on the watch for what Great Grandpa needed.  Though that too was a blessing to watch how love manifests as one cares for another over a long illness.

In any case, we had a great time this afternoon, and Great Grandma wore the kids out so much that they both slept all the way home!

School starts in a few days, and though none of my kids go to school just yet, it does affect us greatly as the schedules of everyone around us change.  But fall is going to be marvelous too, with its varying colors, its crisp football weather, and a new little life joining the House of Francl.

Bidding Summer 2015 a very fond farewell!