Overwhelmed again

I will post again about happy things, but today, as in the last post, I'm feeling overwhelmed.  Why is life hard?  Why do we have to face hard things, hurtful things, lifelong agony, overwhelming anguish?

Summer should be a time of joy, of light hearted play, of whimsy.  And it is, except when it's not.  I feel like this summer hasn't given me a reprieve.  I feel like I am carrying a heavy burden and it nearly breaks me.  Nearly.

After my brother died, my family was given a framed print with the words, "Whatever God asks you to lift, He gives you the grace to carry."  It's true.  I live each day by grace.  I survive and even thrive each day by grace.  By grace I enjoy life, inspite of the burden I feel on my shoulders.  I enjoy my daughter, I love my husband, I bask in the warmth of the sun, by God's grace.

In the Bible, God promises He won't give us more than we can handle.  I can't tell you how many times over the course of my life I have wished He didn't trust me so darn much.  Why do I have to carry these burdens?  Why have I been trusted with them?  And if I must carry these hard burdens, why also do I have to carry little burdens like laundry and cleaning and cooking and dishes?  I suppose it's what makes us human - that everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time; that we all have to take time out of each day to eat, to sleep, to visit the bathroom.  It's humbling and frustrating.  Why do I have to spend time on these menial tasks when I feel the pressure of the important, big things I have to deal with?

And why can't I find my power cord to my computer today?  Why do I have to cut this post short just because the dumb power cord is buried somewhere in the disaster that is my house?

I'm whining, and you have as many hard things to deal with as I do.  I'm just feeling a little alone and a little overwhelmed.  We all do sometimes.  You have problems to deal with each day.  I don't mean to minimize your struggles by lamenting my own.  But it's my blog about my life and so that's what I write about.  I don't know your struggles, but I hope you know you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, if that's where you're at today.

Some things are not for us to know.  As I've said before, I don't understand life, and I don't always like it.  But I'm grateful that I don't have to understand it, because I choose to trust an omnipotent God even when I don't understand.  He's got it under control.  He's got my back... even if He trusts my back to carry much more than I think I can bear.  His grace will sustain.

And just to brighten this post a little, look at this little face - it always gives me a boost, a reason to smile, and lightens the load, just a little.

Are you ever overwhelmed by the pain around you in the world? I'm feeling that way today. There's a funeral in town for the matriarch of a dear, upstanding, wonderful family that has helped to make up the fabric of this community. I just learned about a friend of a friend's son who, due to some bad medication, hallucinated and wreaked havoc on his young, little, innocent body. A dear friend is facing one of the hardest days of her life. And I was reminded last night that I had forgotten the last place I ever saw my brother alive.

Why is life hard? Why does it have to hurt? Why are atrocities so rife around the world?

Most of the time I bury my head in the proverbial sand. I live my charmed life in my little bubble and pretend that my messy house and laundry piles are the biggest difficulties facing the world. Most of the time I convince myself of the illusion that life is mostly good, that people don't intentionally hurt people, that it will all work out in the end.

But the truth is, it doesn't always work out. Much as I want to, I won't be able to always protect my baby from harm or hurt or pain. Much as I try, I can't get rid of the hard things that have to be done by the people I love. I can't even ease the pain most of the time. Sometimes life just hurts.

Last night as I sat in sorrow and pain - my moment of personal anguish over some things in my life, I just hurt. But in that hurt I grasped what I always grab hold of that pulls me out of those moments: hope.

God gave us hope for those moments we spend in the depths. He gave us hope as a comfort, the very best kind of friend to gently lift our chin when the world overwhelms us. ...At least that's what it does for me.

The great thing about hope is that it's attached to what could happen, not what's most likely to happen, or what should happen, or even what has historically happened.  Hope is attached to the promise of the perfect, the off-chance, the unlikely circumstance, the one-in-a-million opportunity.

There's a line in the movie Dumb and Dumber that sums it up pretty well, I think.  Lloyd, an intellectually less-than-impressive male specimen, is smitten with Mary, a well-to-do, beautiful, highly intelligent woman.  In the scene I'm thinking of, Mary's breaking the news to Lloyd that she's not going to date him.  He asks her, "So, what are my chances? ... Like 1 in 100?"  Mary, not wanting to hurt his feelings but needing to tell the truth, gently replies, "More like 1 in a million."  Lloyd takes a moment to digest this, nods, and begins to grin, "So you're telling me there's a chance!"

Hope.  Life is hard.  Life stinks.  Life can be downright overwhelming at times.  But hope springs eternal.  Thank Heavens for that.

We entered a photo contest, and there's nothing like a little self-promotion...