We have a preschooler!

There are many things in life you can ease into - a bath for instance, or the lake, or even a new schedule or job.  But then there are those things that cannot be eased into.  They just are or they aren't.  School is one of those.  

Yesterday my oldest was NOT in school.  Today, she is a preschooler, and all it took was one day to feel a difference.  

Lily could not have been more ready for school.  She LOVES to learn, loves to be with friends, loves to have something that is hers and only hers.  It is time for her to be in school and she was nearly bursting at the seams with excitement!

Lily, excited beyond measure.  Spencer, woken from a deep sleep
just a minute before and wondering what is going on.
Connor, excited because sissy is excited, but not 100% sure why.

On the drive to school, Lily stated from her carseat, "I'm the oldest in the family, so I'm going to preschool."  Chase and I laughed.

We all walked sister bear into her classroom, got her backpack put in her locker, said hello to her teacher, and saw that she was playing with friends old and new before we headed out the door.  As we left the building, Connor said the thing that brought tears to my eyes.  He looked at me with eyes the size of saucers and said wistfully and questioningly, "But sissy is my best friend."

It was strange to him that we left her.  And it felt that way to us too as we 4 left the school and 1 stayed behind with her class.

When we got home, Chase headed to work and the boys and I tried to figure out how to pass the morning without sister instructing everyone as to what we should do.  Even without her, somehow, Spencer ate breakfast, a sink full of dishes were washed, Spencer napped, and Connor and I played.  I can tell it will take a little getting used to - this business of not having our sister here with us.  (I act like she'll never be around.  Preschool is only 2 mornings a week!)

By 10 Connor was asking, "Can we go get sissy?"  "Not yet, brother bear.  We'll go in about an hour.  Do you want to build a puzzle?"

When 10:45 finally rolled around and I announced that it was time to get ready to go get Lily, Connor had his flip flops on in a flash and was trying to open the door by himself before I even had Spencer in his car seat.

On the way to the car, Connor stated, "We're going to get sister, because she's my best friend."

When we picked her up, Lily seemed pleased and tired and somehow older.  As if she'd aged a good deal in those 3 hours we spent apart.  She was independent now.  She could do this on her own.  She was capable.

And between 11 and nap time, I noticed a certain superiority she feels she has now.  We'll have to work on that.

She told me how much she enjoyed her first day and all the fun things she did - a tour of campus, some papers, "there were toys, but no math today."

School is so good for her and for us.  But this parenting thing is hard.  It seems a lifetime ago that I lived in DC and found out I was pregnant with her.  So very much has happened since then.  But then, how can she already be nearly 5 and starting school?

One of my favorite books that I read to the kids is When the World was Waiting for You.  It ends with the lines, "You were there, so sweet, so small, the dearest baby of them all.  And now the world still waits for you to grow and learn and be and do."

World, you need not wait any longer.  She is here to grow and learn and be and do.

Men with chests

Dear sons,

You will face darkness in this life.  

Because I know that, I am preparing you for that each day.  

You are small so the lessons are simple.  

When you hit your sibling, I teach you that we don't hit our siblings.  We protect and care for them.

When you say mean things, I teach you that we don't degrade those around us.  We build them up with kind words.  And we say we're sorry.  And we ask for forgiveness.  And we forgive.

When you throw a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming, I teach you that we don't express anger that way.  It's ok to be angry, upset, or sad.  It is not ok to scream at Mommy or anyone else.  We control the expression of our emotions, or if we can't, we must be alone when we let the tantrum have its way.  

When you whine, I teach you that we use words to get what we want.  Persistence is ok.  Whining is not.

When you are brave and face a fear that you conquer, I applaud you.  I have always know you are brave, dear one.  May each battle you win buttress your bravery and add to your courage.

When you are patient and gentle, my heart rejoices as I praise your actions.  Those moments take self-control, something you are developing and it thrills my heart to see it.

When you work together to accomplish some goal, share some joy, or pass the time, I acknowledge your good judgement.  Time spent working as a team or simply playing without quarrels means you are learning to sense what those around you need from you and what you need from them.  These skills will serve you well throughout your life.

There are days coming when what is right will be in question.  Right itself will be in question, as if it doesn't exist as a definable thing.  That is why from your earliest days I have taught you right.  So that when fools propose not-right, you will recognize it.  Though you may not always be able to put your finger exactly on the wrongness of the not-right, you will know in your very soul what is right.

I seek to raise men with chests.  C.S. Lewis writes, “We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.”

I do not raise traitors.  My men have chests so that when I expect virtue and enterprise from them, they step up to the challenge and accomplish more than I ever imagined for them.

In these tiny days, I see glimmers of your future, my sons.  Glimmers of what you will one day do, of who you will one day become.  And I fear for you.  You will have to fight.

You will face darkness.  The circumstances will be murky, and it will seem that there is no right decision.  And sometimes, the perfect right won't be an option.  But there is always a right option, and you are the kind of men who will find that path and walk in it, despite the cost.

We live in a nation with a great legacy of men with chests.  Imperfect men who stood for right at the expense of their lives, their fortunes.  The very fact that they stood for right secured their sacred honor, though not their lives or fortunes.  But of what value is life or fortune if it is maintained at the cost of your sacred honor?

Choose right, my sons.  Always.  

That is who you are.  

I know, because I have been preparing you to do just that since your earliest days.

Love, 

Mom