Dear sons,
You will face darkness in this life.
Because I know that, I am preparing you for that each day.
You are small so the lessons are simple.
When you hit your sibling, I teach you that we don't hit our siblings. We protect and care for them.
When you say mean things, I teach you that we don't degrade those around us. We build them up with kind words. And we say we're sorry. And we ask for forgiveness. And we forgive.
When you throw a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming, I teach you that we don't express anger that way. It's ok to be angry, upset, or sad. It is not ok to scream at Mommy or anyone else. We control the expression of our emotions, or if we can't, we must be alone when we let the tantrum have its way.
When you whine, I teach you that we use words to get what we want. Persistence is ok. Whining is not.
When you are brave and face a fear that you conquer, I applaud you. I have always know you are brave, dear one. May each battle you win buttress your bravery and add to your courage.
When you are patient and gentle, my heart rejoices as I praise your actions. Those moments take self-control, something you are developing and it thrills my heart to see it.
When you work together to accomplish some goal, share some joy, or pass the time, I acknowledge your good judgement. Time spent working as a team or simply playing without quarrels means you are learning to sense what those around you need from you and what you need from them. These skills will serve you well throughout your life.
There are days coming when what is right will be in question. Right itself will be in question, as if it doesn't exist as a definable thing. That is why from your earliest days I have taught you right. So that when fools propose not-right, you will recognize it. Though you may not always be able to put your finger exactly on the wrongness of the not-right, you will know in your very soul what is right.
I seek to raise men with chests. C.S. Lewis writes, “We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.”
I do not raise traitors. My men have chests so that when I expect virtue and enterprise from them, they step up to the challenge and accomplish more than I ever imagined for them.
In these tiny days, I see glimmers of your future, my sons. Glimmers of what you will one day do, of who you will one day become. And I fear for you. You will have to fight.
You will face darkness. The circumstances will be murky, and it will seem that there is no right decision. And sometimes, the perfect right won't be an option. But there is always a right option, and you are the kind of men who will find that path and walk in it, despite the cost.
We live in a nation with a great legacy of men with chests. Imperfect men who stood for right at the expense of their lives, their fortunes. The very fact that they stood for right secured their sacred honor, though not their lives or fortunes. But of what value is life or fortune if it is maintained at the cost of your sacred honor?
Choose right, my sons. Always.
That is who you are.
I know, because I have been preparing you to do just that since your earliest days.
Love,
Mom
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