Dressed in Scarlet: Limits

On the first day of grad school, I was late to class. I underestimated the time it would take me to walk from the Foggy Bottom Metro stop to the Georgetown campus. (For all you wondering, get off at Rosslyn and walk to Georgetown from there. Even though Rosslyn is in Virginia, it's still MUCH closer than the Foggy Bottom stop.) It was hot and humid and horrible to walk/run that far knowing full-well that I would be shamefully late to my very first day of class... What a way to make a first impression.

I stumbled into the small classroom, the door featuring my entrance directly in front of my 15 on-time classmates. It turned out that it was ok that I was late - the professor was still having the class do introductions, and my name hadn't yet been pulled from the stack.

Once introductions were completed, our professor began a discussion about politics and why there is conflict/disagreement in politics. It turns out there are 2 very specific reasons: limited time and limited resources. There is also, I suppose, some differences based on differing opinions of ends, but generally the ends in politics are agreed upon. We all want everyone to have food, shelter, safety, health, etc. The difference is the method we go about in achieving those goal. (Please understand, I'm speaking generalities here - I know there are other differences, but if you think broadly, these limits do cause most of the trouble.) And if we weren't limited by time and resources, then we'd likely not have as many arguments as we do today.

Imagine if our world wasn't limited even just by monetary bounds. Imagine what you would do if money were never an issue, not only for you, but also for all of those around you... Mind blowing, really. And imagine if we not only had unlimited funds, but also unlimited time. ...Absolutely unimaginable.

If those two restrictions were not part of my life, then last night I wouldn't have wondered what I should do after putting the baby down. I wouldn't have debated among reading, playing video games with Chase, watching TV, blogging, playing on Facebook, or playing Angry Birds, because I would have had all the time in the world. And maybe I would have decided to fly to Columbus, Ohio to visit my dear college roomie. If I weren't limited by time or resources, I could have taken the time and money to fly or do any of a million other things I want to do. (Ultimately, I settled on Angry Birds. Killing some fat, green pigs always makes me feel better.)

Even if resources were still limited, but I had unlimited time, then I wouldn't constantly feel the need to treasure moments with Liliana and Chase. I wouldn't in the same way have the desire to bottle up Lily's little laughs and waves and giggles and moments of sheer adorableness. I wouldn't in the same way value every second I get to spend with my very best friend facing the challenges of life head on, together.

Limits mean we have to make choices. I have to make choices. There's a mind set out there that we "need to be intentional" with our time. Maybe that phrase was overdone for me years ago. I don't really want to be reminded to "be intentional." I already feel the pressure of the limits on my life - the sorrow of the things I desperately want to do that will never happen because I simply don't have the time or resources to make them happen.

Every day I make choices within the bounds of my limited time and limited resources. I choose where I spend my time, and I choose carefully. I know the value of each of my moments. I feel the weight of selecting how I will spend each breath. I feel the pressure of needing to be there when I want to be here, and wanting to be there when I'm needing to be here.

I don't want to have to be intentional. But I do have to be, so I am. I guess that's just part of life.

Speaking of life and intentionality, here are some ways this summer that I have intentionally spent my life:

1. Celebrating the marriage of dear friends at their wedding reception: