Fingerprints in the dust

I had one goal  apart from the "normal" stuff last week.  One.  To bathe and shave both dogs.  I failed:

I promised poor Brook (on the left above, whose eyes you can't even see because her hair is so long) that I'd get her bathed and shaved this week.  And I only have 2 days left to get it done and keep my promise!  On top of the failure of only getting Frazier (the dog on the right) groomed, look what I found when I looked closely at our entertainment center:

Do you see it?  Look at ALL THAT DUST!!!!  I keep a relatively clean house.  I like to think of it as "lived in."  You won't come into my house and wonder if you can sit on my couch, because things here certainly aren't perfect.  But I like to think that you won't come in and wonder if you should sit on my couch because things are at least relatively tidy and clean.  *Sigh*

Failure.  One dog not shaved.  Dusty furniture.  But you know, when I look at those little fingerprints that reveal that dust, I don't actually focus on the dust (at least not most of the time.)  First I see those little tiny fingerprints, left behind not by a white-gloved, judgmental matron, but rather left behind by my daughter who is learning to pull herself up on anything and everything sturdy enough to steady her growing, changing, amazing self.  At least she grabbed the entertainment center rather than the picture frames sitting on the entertainment center.  (We're still working on the baby proofing thing!)

I may have dusty furniture, and maybe only one of my dogs got groomed, but at least one dog is groomed and at least my little girl can pull herself up.  You know, if she wasn't developing right on schedule and pulling herself up on things, I might not know how dusty my entertainment center was, because there would be no tiny fingerprints to show me.

Speaking of developing and growing and entertaining, the other day I left Lily (just for a second) in the living room playing quietly on the floor to run to the kitchen and pull something out of the oven.  I returned to the living room to find this:  

That would be my little girl, proudly with the remote, and the TV turned on behind her.  REALLY!?!?!  Sheesh!  You'd think they wouldn't be able to figure out the on/off button at least until they figured out walking.  :)

I get exasperated sometimes, but most of the time I sit in awe.  I love to watch my little girl learn.  She's learning animal sounds, and has known some for a month already.  She loves kitties, and whenever she sees one she "meow"s at it.  We walked around the state fair this week, and when we got to the photography displays, she meowed and meowed through the animal photos section.  :)  We also watched a live tiger show  and she was transfixed, roaring at the tigers as the trainers coaxed them to do tricks.

She learns new things each day.  She loves books and when I went to pick her up at Mom's today, Mom showed me how Lily can "read" one of her books - she has memorized what the pages say!  She's 11 months old (and clearly a genius!), and taking it all in each day.

I don't want her to remember me someday as the mom who was more worried about my dust than that she learned to walk, or the mom who beat herself up because she only accomplished half her goal.  I'm a self-admitted goal-oriented perfectionist with very high expectations of myself.  I guess I'm learning each day not to lower my expectations of myself, but rather to alter the expectations to reflect what's important in my life.

You don't care if my dog's groomed or not (unless you come to visit and she tries to snuggle up next to you), and you don't care if my house is dusty (who invented dusting anyway!  I HATE dusting!  It's always been my most hated chore - the dust just comes right back, so why wipe it away???).  And you know what, my daughter doesn't care either, as long as her Mommy and Daddy have their priorities in order.

So here's to fingerprints in the dust.  May my home be full of them for years to come!

(P.S.  I plan to dust this weekend.  It's not that I never dust, I do it when it must be done and I have time to do it.  But the whole time I'm doing it, I will be thinking how much I hate it and yet how much I love it when it's done because I don't have to do it again for a long time!)

The Rhythm of Life

I finally feel like I've found it: the rhythm of small town life.  Last night I was driving home from a church bridal shower thinking over my day.  I felt challenged and valued at my job; I talked to the right people about the right things; a friend I ran into at the grocery store helped me pick out a card for the bridal shower; I ate leftovers with my husband; I put my daughter to bed after snuggling and rocking for a while.  *sigh*  This is life.  And I love it.

Maybe what's got me in this mood is that I had that conversation with myself today, the "why is a girl who's got an MA from Georgetown living in small town Nebraska?"  The ancients knew the answer:  Happiness.  So said Aristotle anyway - happiness is the goal toward which we all strive.

I realize that happiness for many people would NOT be to move to a tiny town in nowhere'sville Nebraska, but for me, that's exactly the recipe for happiness.  I got used to the rhythm of life in a big city: headphones, iPods, Kindles, deadlines, long commutes, traffic, subway systems, and people everywhere.  

I lived closer to more people in the DC area than I ever had in my life.  I lived in 750 square feet and had people on 3 sides, and for 2 floors below.  The 5-level parking garage was always packed with my neighbor's cars.  And I knew no one.  I can't tell you my neighbor's names, and I lived there for a year.  Just as we were getting ready to move out, I learned that a friend I'd met during college lived in the same apartment complex - I knew what his dog looked like, but had never realized it was him walking the dog - I never looked up.  That's not how life worked there.    

It's not that that's a bad rhythm.  It's just that it's not the rhythm by which I want to live my life.  I and my husband get to choose how to live, and we choose to live here.  And we have chosen to think of traffic as having to sit through more than one light change at one of the 2 traffic lights in town.  

We know lots of people in the area and are constantly meeting more people who we will run into again and again.  Our kids will go to school with their kids, we'll sit at ball games in the summer together, and if we get into a huge fight, it matters, because we'll have to live as neighbors in our little town forever.  Please don't misunderstand - I know there are great neighborhoods and great things about the rhythm of life in the city.  But there are great things about the rhythm of life here, and I'm just glorying in those things at the moment.  

Last week was the start of school around here, and also the start of our fall "routine," part of which includes regular part time work hours for me at school.  Lily came with me for part of a day, and she was ready.  At 10 1/2 months, she looks WAY too old!!! 

It's like a glimpse into the future - 5 years from now...

And after a few hours at school she was exhausted.  That next morning I found her in her crib, sleeping like this:

Life is good.  And it feels good to dance in time with the rhythm.

The Final Weeks of Summer

It's over.  Summer is officially over, because school began.  That's it - gone.  And somehow the weather knew to turn from 100+ degrees to 70's, overnight.  How did it know that???  It's killing me, really.  I now have to figure out a whole new wardrobe for myself.  I'm no longer a full time career woman, nor am I pregnant, nor do I live on the East Coast.  Add to that that my body shape and size are different than they've ever been before, and I'm completely clueless as to how to dress myself!  (If you have a sense of style and happen to see me and I look horribly out of fashion or mismatched, please let me know!)

Anywhoo, here are a few of the things we did in the final weeks of our summer.

Lily learned that food off of Mommy or Daddy's plate tastes much better than that junk that comes out of the baby food jar.  Below she is eating chicken:

We visited my cousin who had her baby girl in March as well as my grandparents.  My grandma is holding my cousin's baby, and they are watching Lily pull herself up on the couch.  My grandpa was also present, as evidenced by me taking a picture of everything but his face.  (*Way to go Steph!*)

Lily is still (at 10 1/2 months) army crawling (i.e. crawling on her tummy) everywhere.  She's quite fast and has coordinated her arms and legs.  She may never transition to off-the-tummy crawling before walking, which I read is ok, as long as she can get where she wants to go:

This is Lily practicing her walking in Perkins on our short, weekend vacation to my cousin's wedding.  She loves it when her Daddy walks with her!

These are Lily's feet after walking all over Perkins, barefooted.  Our next stop (about an hour later) was the Gymboree Outlet, where we purchased sandals for the girl.  She now wears shoes when we go out of the house.  (It all washed off with a little soap in the Perkins bathroom.  But still... gross.)

This was what Lily thought of the 7+ hour car ride to my cousin's wedding.  This was actually her happy face, like when Chase or I was sitting in the back reading to her or playing with her.  Her mad/sad face was much more prevalent on the trip.

Family picture at the hotel the day after we arrived.  Everyone was well-rested and ready to party that night at the wedding!

Behold the bride.  Congratulations dear Abby and Logan!  It was a great party, and we were sad we had to miss the festivities that continued the next day.  But alas, my girl was feverish (thank you top teeth...) so we headed home as soon as the reception hit its stride.  Driving through the night was much more peaceful, though my poor husband bore the brunt of the 7 hour drive while his girls slept peacefully in the back.

That was our last couple of weeks of summer.  I have some killer pictures for the first week of school, but it's late, and my bed calls.  Nighty-night!

(Yes, this post was shamelessly about putting up a bunch of pictures of our Little Bit, but really, who can blame me???)

Summer 2012 - Never throw out anyone.

I'm sitting at my kitchen table with talk radio on, surrounded by boxes and bills, coupons and cords.  I have my computer, my camera, and my phone scattered among my grocery list, coupon organizing book (which is shamefully unorganized), trash pile, pile of things to file, pile of things to go to the basement, and pile of things I need to make calls about.  Why does health insurance stuff always require phone calls to make it right???

Has your summer been absolutely over whelming?  Is there anyone out there like me who is wondering where summer went and what I did with every day that is now past?

When we started the summer, Lily didn't like water (other than her bath), she could roll over (but nothing more), and we'd barely started pureed vegetables.  Now, she love the pool and the lake (especially if she can skinny dip!), she's pulling herself up on everything (and then getting frustrated that she's stuck standing and can't go anywhere yet), and she's chowing down on food off of my plate at every meal.  She barely had 2 teeth in May.  She's working on tooth #8 right now.

I didn't read much this summer, but I did read enough to find a quote that I really like, one worth sharing:

People, even more than things, have to be
restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

I read this quote in a little quote book we have titled, "Wise Words for Fantastic Fathers."  I'm not a father, but I figured I could probably still benefit from reading it.  And it turns out I did.  I love this quote.  Though the book credits Audrey Hepburn with the quotation, a quick check of Snopes.com shows Sam Levenson as the true author.

Whoever said it, I think it's something worth remembering.  I spend a lot of time last summer working on restoring, renewing, reviving, and reclaiming furniture and other things to fill Lily's nursery.  This summer, Chase and I spent a lot of time on relationships - restoring, renewing, reviving, reclaiming and redeeming relationships with each other and those around us.  This summer was well spent.

Relationship work is hard.  It's harder than physical work in some ways, because there are few external ways to measure success.  And trying to "measure" relationship almost negates that there is relationship - it's not about how many times Chase empties the dish drainer or how many meals I make - it's about the heart attitude behind the actions.  And yet success is so obvious when it's achieved.  Others can see the success of physical work:  a yard neatly mowed, a house freshly painted, a house neatly cleaned.  Relational work often seems hidden, behind the scenes, and yet so crucial, so essential to living a fulfilled life.

It's taken a lot of time - time I typically would have spent blogging and doing other things that revive my soul.  As things settle into the fall/school year routine, I plan to return to the activities I set aside.  It feels good to be back!  I will remember the summer of 2012 as the summer of working on relationships, not the least of which has been mine with my Maker.

My theme song for the summer.  Enjoy:   Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave