Diet

I don't diet.  I've never dieted.  In fact, when I've tried to diet (back in college when the freshman fifteen attached itself to me), I ended up gaining weight because all I did was think about food which, in turn, made me eat more.  I've been blessed in that I've never had to worry too much about my weight.  If anything, I've had to worry about not weighing enough, especially while I was pregnant with Lily.

*sigh*

All that is changing today, and since this is my blog that helps me process life, it's time for me to write about it.  I NEED. TO. PROCESS.  Maybe that will help me accept the reality that I now have to live for the next 5 weeks (at least).

It all started on Thursday, and it was all my fault.  My hubby has had this weird hives reaction when he gets overheated (like when he takes a hot shower or gets sweaty working out).  Additionally, the guy has the stinkiest feet of anyone I've ever known!  These two seemingly unrelated issues were what I wanted resolved last Thursday.  We spent the day with my in-laws who ascribe to a more... naturalistic method of treating sickness/allergies/etc.  I asked - no, that's not strong enough - I adamantly demanded that they do some checking with Chase's symptoms to find out what was causing these two issues as traditional medicine had been little help.  The results came back: too much yeast in his system.

No big deal, I thought.  He'll take some remedy or herb for a while, and Voila! No more stinky feet or hives!  Not so, they told me.  It would take a remedy and some herbs and a vitamin, but it would also take a drastic change in diet to make it all work.  And the change in diet not only applied to Chase, but also to me.  Turns out spouses can perpetuate yeast problems by passing it back and forth.  Who knew?!?  I certainly didn't.  If I had, maybe I wouldn't have been so adamant about finding out what the issue was...

So Friday night, after my sick daughter finished puking on me and I cancelled girls night with my best girlfriends, I sat down, alone, on the couch, and pulled out my computer.  Chase was gone for the night, so it was just me, Bing Crosby, and Fred Astaire (in Holiday Inn) to research what a yeast-free diet was, exactly.  The more I read, the more angry and depressed I got.  It wasn't just "give up yeast and sugar," which, by the way, are the only ways I get sufficient calories each day.  I eat bread, potatoes, cinnamon rolls, corn, cookies, crackers, fruit, cereal, etc, etc, ALL the time.  I eat veggies and meat too, but I ascribe to the OLD food pyramid model I learned in elementary school - the bulk of what I eat ate was grains and breads and starches.

By midnight, it was pretty much clear:  my life was over.  I would just waste away and die on this ridiculous diet that had been imposed on me and my husband by no one other than myself.  Did I mention no vinegar, no mushrooms, no pickles, not even any fruit for the first little while (fruit can be added in later)?  Seriously?  What am I supposed to eat?  Oh!  Also, no pistachios, no peanuts, no sweetener of any kind, no salad dressing (unless I make it without vinegar or sweeteners), no mayo (unless I make it myself - who makes mayo?!?!?  ...I guess I do, now).  I can hardly handle it.

I'm so stressed/upset about this stupid diet that I got a canker sore in my nose.  I never get them in my mouth/on my lips - it's weird, I know.  I only ever get them in my nose, and only ever when I'm really stressed or upset.  Sweet.  Thank you canker sore for reminding me that my life now sucks.  As if the almonds I just "munched" on didn't remind me enough.  Awesome.

I'm not as concerned about the diet for Chase - he wants to lose a few pounds, and he likes meat (though the abundance of veggies will take some getting used to for him).  He will see significant health benefits in a relatively short amount of time.  In 5 weeks or so, he should be seeing big results and we should be able to start adding things back in... or so we think.

But for me?  I'm concerned for me.  I don't have a pound to spare at the moment.  I know what I look like down a few pounds from where I am and my cheeks sink in and I look horrible.  The last time I was that low one of my girlfriends told me I looked like I was literally starving.  (I wasn't at the time, I was nursing a very fat baby who took the fat right off my body.  I ate like a horse to keep up!)  I don't want to worry about that.  I don't want to limit what I eat.  I don't want to think about food any more than I have to, and now I have to think about it ALL the time to try to come up with enough stuff to eat.

I'm whining.  I'll probably whine about this a lot.  Chase and I have been on the diet for all of 5 hours now, and I'm already blogging about how horrible it is.  It may be a very LOOOOOOOOONG next few weeks.  *sigh*

And I feel guilty.  I feel guilty that I have all kinds of food options all around me that I CAN have, and I'm whining about it.  There are lots of people all over the world whose cupboards are empty or who don't even have the benefit of having cupboards to fill.  I feel guilty that I do NOT want to do this, even though I know it's what my hubby needs for me to do.  I feel guilty that a friend has been on this diet for nearly 2 weeks now and she didn't even mention it to me until I whined to her that we were going on this diet.  How does she manage it so patiently and so quietly?  I want the whole world to know and feel sorry for me - and I feel guilty for that too.

Deep down, I know that I can do anything for 5 weeks, especially if it benefits my family.  I survived pregnancy, labor and delivery, right?  I can do this - it's just a stupid diet.  *sigh*  But it seems so overwhelming.  I was depressed for a good 24 hours after my research session on Friday night.  At least I get to do this with my best friend who hates it/mocks it as much as I do.

It's the season of Lent.  Do you think it's ironic that the timing of this diet and Lent line up?  I don't.  What am I giving up for Lent?  Until today, nothing.  From today till Easter, everything that I love to eat.  I tried to give up chocolate for Lent a few years ago - I think I lasted 2 days until I was 1/2 way through a bowl of chocolate ice cream and realized that I shouldn't be eating it.  I gave it up that very moment and enjoyed my chocolate.  (Chocolate is, obviously, also not permitted on this diet - it tastes good, why would it be allowed?)  It may seem silly, but I know that it is not in my strength that I'll be successful in this.  It's going to take a lot of personal prayer, a lot of leaning on the One who Provides, a lot of my soul grieving the loss of free will in the realm of food, a lot of submission.

I don't particularly like the word "submission" as it has often been used in my experience.  So often, submission is used as what men need to make women do.  Like females are some kind of second class citizen without brains or talent or something to contribute - people that must be ruled over.  However, our pastor explained in our marriage counseling that the submission that the Bible describes isn't something the husband makes the wife do - he's not to lord over her.  (Isn't that great to hear!  But here comes the hard part...)  Instead, the submission of wives is to be something the wife does.  She chooses to submit herself to the leadership of another.  She contributes, offers ideas, uses her talents in service to the Lord and her husband, but amidst it all she opts to fall under the headship of her husband because someone has to be accountable, and God said that the accountable one is the man.  I'm ok with that.

This whole diet thing is a new level of submission for me.  It has to be me choosing to give up a piece of who I am, a piece of me that's ok for me, a piece of me that I like.  (I like that I can have a blizzard from DQ and not worry about what the scale will say the next day.)  I have to choose to do it.  No one else can.  And it's me choosing to lay down my worry about my potential weight loss and what people may say about it (I'm very self conscious about comments about my stature) and trust the Lord to take care of my body as long as I do my part and eat like it's going out of style.

So there you have it.  If you want to look into the diet we're on, Google "Candida diet."  That'll get you started (down the road of depression).  There will, I suspect, be many more blog posts about the diet and the spiritual, emotional, and physical journey that will go with it.

You just never know what each new day will bring....  

Moving Tips

I just Googled "moving tips" and the first results were... "unimpressive" to say the least.  One site started, "Pick the most unused room in the house - I always pick the bathroom."  The bathroom = unused?  Really?  Then where do you...?  Nevermind.  I don't want to know.  I also don't want to take moving advice from someone who chooses not to frequent their own bathroom.  (Of course, maybe this writer was like George on Seinfeld, who simply knew all of the very best public restrooms in the city of New York, so he didn't have to dirty his own lavatory...)

Anyway, after reading a few of the unhelpful posts out there, I thought I should write my own list of moving tips.  I'm separating them into "moving across town" and "moving across the country" since we have done both.  And we have done them both 2 times in the last 4 years, for a total of 4 moves in 4 years.  (Yuck.  I hate moving!)  We have moved in huge cities with absurd traffic; we have moved in small towns with 2 stoplights; we have moved with pets; we have moved with kids; we have moved a lot, and I am tired of moving.  And we have done every move ourselves - no moving companies.  *sigh*

Let's start with the more simple "Moving Across the Country" move.  It seems counter intuitive that this would be the easier move, but in my experience in cross-country moves, you have a definite "leave" date that is planned well in advance, which means you have a hard deadline you have to meet.  Come hell or high water, you will be moving on X day.  So, here are my tips:

1. Know your apartments moving policies.  This, obviously, goes for renters or individuals who are part of a HOA or whatever.  If you need to sublet, get on that!  If you need to rent an elevator, get on that!  If you need to move during certain hours of the day (because of moving truck parking or traffic or neighborhood restrictions), know about that ahead of time so you can plan accordingly.  Also, check into switching your cable, phone, internet, utilities, change of address, etc.  Movearoo helped us get great deals on services when we moved.
2. Start hunting for free boxes as soon as you know you're moving.  Get creative!  I used boxes from my company's mail room, boxes we got for free off of Craigslist, boxes from a local grocery store, boxes from a school's kitchen.  There are free boxes all around, and if you use your network of friends/family/social networks, I bet you'll be able to find some free boxes! 
3. Hop on UHaul.com and order a few wardrobe boxes, packing paper, and a roll of the plastic wrap stuff.  Wardrobe boxes are worth it for long moves - you don't have to unhang, fold, pack, unfold, or rehang anything.  We put shoes in the bottom of the wardrobe boxes and then stuffed them full of clothes.  Totally worth it.  Also, I was amazed at how much packing paper we used, and I was always glad I got what I got.  No worrying about my dishes as we bounced over Colorado's crappy interstate.  And the plastic wrap stuff is my FAVORITE moving thing EVER!  Wrap around dressers/furniture so they don't get scratched, and it holds the drawers in place; wrap picture frames before boxing and they stick together so you don't have to worry about them moving and scratching each other; wrap your spouse while you pack because he/she is driving you crazy; etc, etc, etc  It's fantastic stuff!
4. Plan your packing.  Pack things you don't frequently use first (duh!) and spread it out so you don't get burned out when you really need to be getting your groove on.  Think about the tops and backs of your closets, storage spaces, and other things you don't frequently use.
5. Start packing ASAP.  If your move is 3 months away, pack up your rarely used books and off-season clothes.  Also consider packing decorations early - they just collect dust anyway.  Come moving week/day, you won't regret the stuff you got packed early!  Put boxes packed early in an "out of the way" place - sometimes that means an inconvenient place (like upstairs), but seriously, it's worth it.  Just do it.
6. Label things in a way you'll remember.  My hubby thought I went a little overboard when I bought 4 different colors of Sharpees - blue, red, black, and green.  For our cross-country move, I used blue to label all the bathroom boxes, green to label all the kitchen boxes, red to label all the bedroom boxes, and black to label everything else.  I labeled them with the room then with the contents of the box (e.g. Bathroom - Guest Towels, Bedroom - Headboard Stuff, Kitchen - Utensils and Silverware, etc).  That may be a little extreme, but it worked for me.  When we unloaded, I just directed boxes to the right rooms based on the color of the label.  Do what works for you.
7. Pack things tightly, but keep things together.  I like boxes to be packed perfectly with each nook and cranny filled with precisely the right thing to fill the spot.  This is good, because when things are packed tightly, they don't break - so do pack things tightly.  In 4 moves, I've only ever lost 4 coffee mugs because the box got dropped while unloading.  Not bad.  But I always regret it when I pack bathroom things in the living room box because "it fit."  It's better to pack things all in one area together.
8. Clean out as you pack.  If you don't really like it, haven't worn it recently, wish your great aunt hadn't given it to you, donate it.  Don't move things you don't really want, especially across the country.    
9. Don't over-stress about it.  If you're not sure about it, pack it - you'll have a chance to get rid of it/give it away when you unpack it.  Sometimes I hit a road block when I'm packing, because I'm trying to make too many decisions, and I just can't make another one.  That's ok - just throw it in a box.  Deal with it later, but try to use this as a last resort!
10. Get help.  If you have offers of help, take them!  You don't have to pack your own towels.  I'm pretty sure they won't break.  Expend your energy on what ONLY YOU can do and let others step in where they can.  Keep projects other than packing in mind when others offer to help as well - for example, maybe you need a kid sitter, or a meal brought in, or help deep cleaning, or help folding laundry rather than help packing.  Those are all helpful - don't be afraid to let others help you with those things too.
11. Keep in mind what's critical.  On one of our moves across the country, my husband and some help were loading the moving truck.  In the process of the biggest game of Tetris of his life, my hubby stepped through our king sized headboard.  I mean, he stepped through it in such a way as to totally ruin it.  (It wasn't super expensive or really high quality, but it's 2 years later and we still miss it.)  Our help looked at me (I was pretty high strung at this point in the moving process, being 7 months pregnant in the middle of July...) waiting for the explosion.  I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.  What else could I do?  Headboard or no headboard, we would be moved, and move we did, no headboard and all.  Hubby didn't need my criticism, and while we miss the headboard, we still laugh about it.  Hold on to the people you love when you're stressed -  they're what holds you together in those tense moments, and you'll want them around when you're not stressed!
12. On the other end of the move, Unpack. This is another Nike thing - "Just do it."  Seriously.  If you put those boxes in the garage thinking you'll get to them next week or next month, then you'll end up moving those unpacked boxes the next time you move.  How do I know?  I've been there.  Get everything out of those boxes and deal with it.  If you don't have room for it in your new place, sell it, give it, or donate it and get the clutter out of your life.  You don't want to be unpacking for the rest of your life, so just do it as quickly as is reasonably possible (it took me a week in our recent move to have every box emptied and everything put away for me, hubby and toddler.)  Don't over stress about it, but don't put it off either.
13. Know that This Too Shall Pass.  Isn't that a great thing?!?  Soon, you'll be moved, and all of the chaos, craziness, and unsettledness will be over.  Look forward to that day and work toward it like your life depends on it - because it kinda does.  :)

Moving across the country is miserable - you have to fit EVERYTHING, your whole life, into a little box that will roll over hill and dale through rain, snow, sleet and shine to another place where you'll unpack it like a little ant.  I remember thinking part way through one of our moves that it would just be easier if we left our stuff, and the people where we were going left their stuff, etc... But that would be gross - someone else's sheets and towels!  Ewww!  Plus, who wants someone else's family pictures hanging on their wall...  So moving is justified!

Moving across town is a little different.  It's close by, so you think, "It won't be so bad, I'll just move a little at a time."  Good idea, until you realize how much stuff you use every day!  None the less, the move must happen.  I've done 2 kinds of across town moves - one where we had a window of about 48 hours (over a weekend between work) to move and only had the moving truck for 24 hours, and one where we had weeks to make the move.  So here are my tips based on my experience...

1. Know your apartment's moving policies.  (See #1 above) This one still applies - you've got to know how much time you have to give your notice, subletting policies, etc, etc, etc. 
2. Start hunting for free boxes.  Do this as soon as you know you're moving and you can probably find all you need for free!  Check with local grocery stores, the mail room at your company, Craigslist, friends/family, etc.  That's how I got almost all of my boxes for free!
3. Hop on UHaul.com and order some of the plastic wrap stuff.  Seriously, for $6, it's worth it!  Wrap your furniture in it so your nice wood doesn't get scratched, wrap your pictures in it so the frames don't get ruined, wrap your spouse in it.  (Seriously, I love my hubby - he's absolutely the best.  But we survive stuff like moving by laughing, so do what makes you laugh!)  I love this stuff!
4. Plan your packing.  This was easy in the 48-hour move.  Throw everything in boxes as quickly as possible and move!  This was hard in the 3-weeks move.  I didn't realize how much stuff I use on a regular basis or how many things I just didn't want to be without.  If you can, plan ahead how you will pack those difficult-to-move rooms like the kitchen and bathroom.  In our 3-week move, we moved the kitchen and bathroom on the day before "moving day," so that when all of the big stuff came in, we had a fully-functional kitchen with cold beverages in the fridge and a bathroom with toilet paper and all the necessities unpacked and ready for showers that night.  
5. Start packing ASAP!  Think about what you don't use often, and pack it and move it as soon as possible - extra pantry items, guest towels, spare cleaning supplies, stuff from that closet you rarely open...  If possible, get them moved and unpacked in the new place before "moving day."  It's nice to have at least a few things organized and in place ahead of time, plus moving a few things ahead of time really helped me visualize how much space I had to put the things I still had to bring over.  I did NOT move the bins of off-season clothes, still-boxed decorations, Christmas bins, etc.  I had strong men to lift/move those out of my basement.  No reason to move those myself!  BUT they were basically all boxed/packed already.  All the men had to do was pick them up and carry them out.  Have stuff like that ready, but don't throw your back out with stuff that's going to move from one storage area to the next.
6. Don't over pack if you don't have to.  If you're moving across town, don't waste money on a wardrobe box.  Just take the clothes (still on hangers) out of your closet, out to your car, throw them across the back seat, drive across town, and hang them up again.  Likewise with things like your bed sheets, towels, and your child's favorite toys - on moving day, throw them in laundry baskets or empty boxes, move them to your new house and put them where they belong.  (In our cross-town moves, our houses were within 30 minutes of each other in each case, so I wasn't super worried about "making too many trips."  If your cross-town move is very distant, you may want to reconsider this bit of advice...)
7. Disrupt kids as little as possible.  Children, especially little ones (and animals too) can sense that there's something going on that they don't understand.  I carried my 16-month old for more than 3 hours the other day while I packed.  She was just unsettled.  So I have tried to disturb her life as little as possible.  I left her toys all where they had always been until moving day, I left her room mostly untouched until moving day.  On moving day, she (and our dog) stayed at grandma's house where she was treated like the little princess she is!  And I took a day off of work after we moved just so she and I could get settled together and play together in our new house.  I felt like she needed it.  Be sensitive to what your kids need from you as you move.  This is one of those "know what's important" things.  My kid needed extra time with me to feel secure - take time to know what your kids need from you (and pray that a kiss and a day with grandma will do the trick!)
8. Clean out as you pack.  Get rid of things you won't use in the new place, haven't used in the last year, or don't want, have been meaning to do something with.  I actually had a wedding present that I'd been meaning to send for over a year sitting in my basement.  Oops!  I wrote the "bride" (who had now been a wife for over a year) a note that said in trade for a late gift, she didn't need to send a thank you, and I sent that gift off, finally.  Was I ashamed? yes.  Was I glad I finally did it?  Yes.  Moving can be a chance to get rid of that kind of stuff that builds up.
9. Don't over-stress the small stuff.  If you don't have time to clean out, can't make it to the Good Will to drop that box of stuff off, or whatever, don't feel bad about it!  Just move the stuff.  Moving comes with so many little decisions to be made that you can really wear yourself out with them.  Do what you can, but if you can't, cut yourself some slack.  You're moving for Heaven's sake!
10. Get help.  If/when people offer to help, let them!  This has been wonderful on our most recent move - more help than I've known what to do with - what a blessing!  People to clean things, watch kiddos, lift things, bring trailers/trucks, help pack, help unpack.  It's been great!  But don't let the offers to help stress you out - let people know what they can do that will really help you, even if that means the best thing they can do to help is to not help but just to be available in case you need anything last minute.
11. Unpack.  Once you're moved, don't delay.  Get that stuff out of boxes and into closets, onto shelves, on the walls.  Hang curtains.  Hang pictures.  Do it.  It will make your new place feel like a home.  I have taken different tactics in unpacking. I've tried the "handle every item once" method that worked great until I got to those few boxes of things that I had no idea where to put away.  So then I tried the "lay everything out so you can see all the stuff you have left to deal with" method.  About an hour after I did that, I ended up putting all those things back in a box and reverting to the first method again.  And finally I've settled on the "if you can't find a place for it, you probably don't need it" method for my last 2 boxes of stuff.  In our most recent move, it took me a week to get every single box emptied/put away.  That's about 3 days longer than I wanted it to take, but it's done now.  Whew!  And we have a fully-functioning, cozy, homey home that I love.  In one of our moves, we didn't unpack right away because hubby and I both had to dive into a week of work the day after the move from H***.  We ended up getting home from long days at stressful jobs and clearing enough space on the couch to chill and watch our old seasons of Seinfeld for a few hours before clearing space on the bed to crash.  We'd get up the next morning and rifle through boxes to find clothes/toiletries/necessities to get ready for work... it was a mess.  I should have taken a day off and just unpacked!  Lesson learned.
12. Remember what's really important.  Part of the reason it took me longer than intended to unpack us this time around was because of our toddler.  During the day when she was awake, she needed me to be normal as much as possible, not unpacking like a mad woman.  So, we read books, played, went to the library, went to the grocery store, ate lunch together - all the things we've always done during the day, and when her daddy got home, we played in the evenings (and I unpacked boxes here and there as I could while still paying her the attention she needed from me).  On moving day (while she was with her grandma) I worked like crazy to get our main living area, her room, and our room as settled as possible.  That way the most important thing in my life, my family, could function in our new place.  It didn't really matter how long it took to get my boxes unpacked as long as my family could function and continue to have relationship in our new home.  Having said that, I feel settled when there's a place for everything and everything is in its place, so it's important for me that we unpack quickly when we move.  I have to remember to balance the health and well-being of my family with my perfectionism when we move.  
13. This too shall pass.  Our 4th move in 4 years is over.  It's done!  I don't ever have to do that again, and I can't express to you how thrilled I am about that fact!!!!  If you plan ahead and work diligently, your move will go relatively smoothly.  No move is without it's moments, but you can often avoid many pitfalls by just planning ahead.  But when those moments come, those moments you wonder why in the world we move at all, remember then that this too shall pass, and soon your move will be only a distant memory.  PTL!  

If you're moving, I hope you've found something here that's helpful, and best of luck as you move.  Is there something I missed?  What tips do you have?

If you're not moving, odds are you will move someday.  Maybe you'll remember something mentioned here that will help.  If I could give only one recommendation for moving, it would be to get the plastic wrap stuff from Uhaul.  Seriously.  It's da bomb.