A Summer Visitor

Life here in "small town America" is usually pretty predictable: family, home, work, and of course fun amidst it all.  But every now and then something unexpected comes along, and in our case last week, it was Jay, a friend from our time out east.

Four years ago, Chase and I moved from our apartment in Michigan (where we'd lived for 6 years), to Northern Virginia, just outside of Washington, DC.  (We lived in Vienna, the last stop on the orange line of the Metro.)  We moved there so that I could go to school to get my Master's Degree in American Government from Georgetown University.  I was accepted into a 12-month program and enrolled with 15 other students.  

Our class was small and politically very diverse, ranging from extremely conservative (that would be me, though I don't consider myself an extremist!) to far-left-liberal to socialist and everything in between.  We took most of our classes together and got to know one another pretty well.  Despite our differences, we genuinely enjoyed one another's company, and I think that was in part because we were so diverse and had so much to learn from one another.  

When Chase and I moved from the DC area back home to Nebraska, there wasn't much we thought we'd miss.  But those 15 people from my class and a number of our coworkers (and Voccelli's pizza!) were hard to leave behind.  Fortunately, we live in a mobile world, and we're only a flight (or a scooter as the case may be) away.

Tuesday evening, Jay scootered into our driveway for a much-anticipated visit.  And since he's already gone to the work of writing about his visit, I'll just let him share it in his own words.  But before I send you to his blog, I'll set the stage a bit... 

Jay works for the federal government doing good work in an unconventional way - we need more civil servants like him.  He saved his vacation days over a few years, and this May set out on a 2-month road trip throughout the US and Canada.  He went from DC to Louisiana, to Houston, to Denver, to San Diego, to Vancouver, to Montana, to us.  When Jay left us, he was shooting for Minnesota, then the UP of Michigan, then Canada, and eventually back to DC.  He travels by "Rousseau," his lovingly named Kymco scooter that looks much like this one:  

He mostly camps on his trip, though he stays in a hotel every once in a while, or visit friends as his route allows.  He's put over 12,000 miles on Rousseau in the last 6 weeks, and he's obviously not afraid of adventure!  Born and raised mostly in New Jersey, Jay was very happy to leave the state behind and settle in DC for the time being (except when he's crossing the country on the back of Rousseau).

Now, please sit back, relax, and enjoy the story of our summer visitor:  Jay's visit to Nebraska  

PS - Here's a picture of Jay and I after a tour at Preferred Popcorn.  My phone takes horrible pictures, and the protective gear required for safety/health reasons doesn't help.  None the less, here it is:

  

I do

I take thee to be my spouse,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

till death do us part.

Happy 8 years, my love.  

There's no one else I'd rather sit next to on this crazy ride called life.  

The Psychology of Garage Sales

I went garage saling today - an activity that not only has saved us a TON on Lily's wardrobe, but that also fulfills my need to find good bargains.  It's a treasure hunt, a "blowout sale," and a shopping trip all rolled into one.  And you just never know what you're going to find!

We had a garage sale once when I was little (that I can remember).  It must have been when we moved from our house in town to the house where my mom lives now.  I would have been 9 or 10 at the time, and I remember selling my girl's Lego set.  It was pink, purple and white and it made a little doll-house that was the right size for the Lego people.  The roof Legos never stayed on it very well.  I remember feeling kind of annoyed at all the people who were rummaging through our stuff and who seemed wholly unappreciative of the treasures we were so generously allowing them to purchase.  The woman who bought the Lego set offered less than we had it marked for.  I think I got $5 instead of $10 for it.  I wasn't very happy.

Now I am that ungrateful person offering 1/2 of what a thing is marked.  When I garage sale (and I suspect when most of you garage sale) there are a number of things that I do that are...  Well, I just only do them when I garage sale.

First, there's the slow drive by.  When approaching a garage sale, I drive by the advertised driveway at about 2.5 miles an hour to assess the situation.  Bird cage and gazelle exercise equipment set out next to 30-year old throw pillows and mu-mu's OR a garage sale so small that nothing is spilling out of the garage onto tables: speed up and keep driving.  Kid's toys, nicely hung or displayed clothes, boxes of purses all on tables outside of the garage: pull over and check it out.  The garage is behind the house, so you can't assess from the road: move to the next tactic.

Next, there's the check-it-out walk through.  I often do this with my mom - if the garage sale is indeterminable from the road, one of us will go "check it out" so we both don't have to get out of the car.  This is especially useful when garage saling with kids, so you don't have to deal with the car seat buckles so much.

If I actually make it into the garage sale, I always try to smile at the person putting it on.  We recently helped some friends setup a garage sale, and it's a lot of work!  There's the sorting, the pricing, the displaying, and the giving up of a weekend to sit out and watch people turn their noses up at your perfectly good stuff.  After I smile at them, I begin browsing.  I hold my wallet under my arm so I have both hands free to shop (if need be), but often my hands are then clasped in front of me so as not to appear too eager.  I don't want to be bothered when shopping (unless you're going to tell me it's ok to make an offer on an item or group of items).  Just let me browse.

Once I have something in hand, then it's time to determine whether it's worth offering a lower price, or if that will merely offend the seller.  Today I bought a dolly stroller and dolly car seat that we'll probably give Lily for her birthday.  There was no price on it, so I took them up and offered $6.  They searched for the tag (which had fallen off) and said it was $10.  I asked how low they would go.  The lady said $8.  I thought it was a good deal, but I didn't know if I wanted to drop that kind of change on a toy, so I told them, "Let me think about it."  And I wheeled it over to my mom (who was digging through a box of books) to ask what she thought.  Her comment was, "Oh it's worth that.  You're arguing over 2 dollars?"  I said, "I know, but I want them to think that I'm really thinking about it."  Fortunately Mom just smiled, humoring me.

A couple of weeks ago I hit the mother-load at a huge garage sale of kids clothes.  Name brand kids clothes that had hardly been worn, and I was there in the last hour of the sale.  I went up to the lady and asked if she'd give me everything at 50% off - I said I would shop very differently if things were another 50% off.  And I said that when it gets to that point in garage sales, I always just want things gone so I don't have to deal with them (not that I've ever hosted one myself...)  She agreed, and it was a good thing she did!  I bought $43 worth of clothes (originally marked $86) for Lily for the future - a whole tote's worth.  Had she not made that bargain with me, I would have probably spent $12.

We stopped at a garage sale today, and it was clear that the people running it had no idea what things actually go for at garage sales.  A 1980's (mostly wooden), 6-piece living room set for $300.  WHAT?!?!?  $300?  Seriously?  Try FREE and setting it by the curb - you'll be lucky to get someone to haul it off your property.  Better yet, chop it up for firewood and you could probably make $5.  Everything at that garage sale was priced about 90% higher than it should have been.  As we smiled and walked back to our car, the lady called out that, "Next weekend will be our last weekend open, so if you know anyone who is interested in this kind of stuff, let them know!"  We smiled and nodded and drove away.  So to fulfill my nodded consent:  If anyone is interested in a $300, 1980's, mostly wooden, 6-piece living room set, let me know.  I'll give you the address of the sale...

The saying goes that "one man's junk is another man's treasure."  And I suppose they're right.  It is interesting to see what kinds of prices people put on things.  I think that's the hardest part about a garage sale - pricing things.  You want people to know you've got good stuff, so you don't want to mark everything $.25.  Plus, you want to make more than $5 for the weeks of work you put into this sale.  But you also don't want people to walk away going, "Everything at that place was WAY overpriced.  Can you believe what they wanted for that pan?!?"  You're looking for that sweet spot between "She thinks her stuff is SO valuable" and "I shoulda asked for more!"

In any case, I'm thankful for the tradition of garage sales.  It's saved me a boatload and it's fun too.  :)  

A week in the life of...

Life happens, and sometimes always it gets in the way of what I feel like I should do with my time, like write more blog posts.  Instead of writing blog posts this last couple of weeks, I've been living, and if that included Season 3 of Downton Abbey, and blowing through a novel in a week instead of blogging - well, I guess I'm just grateful for the chance to enjoy those two leisurely activities!  But I do love to write, and I do want to remember what happened in the last couple of weeks, because we had some memorable moments.  So here goes...

1.  Garage Sales: A couple of weekends ago, my mom and I hit the mother-load!  I came home with a tote full of 4T clothes for Lily and paid only $43 dollars!!!  Also included in the day's haul was a $5 beanbag that I thought would provide the stuffing for a project I want to do.  Turned out, however, that my daughter fell in love with the beanbag chair.  We've spent the last two weeks pushing her into it (it's her new favorite game!).

2.  Gardening:  I don't have a vegetable garden, but I did inherit an impressive array of flower beds when we moved into our new place in February.  So Lily and I have been nurturing our green thumb and our flowers.  I have yet to kill the 4 beautiful rose bushes I inherited (all credit goes to the dear woman who planted and established them, and God who made them beautiful to begin with.  I'm just standing on the shoulders of rose-gardening-giants!  Next year will be the real test...)

And my Lily with our lilies.  Consider how the lilies grow.  They neither toil nor spin, yet not even Solomon was clothed like one of these.

3.  Baking:  Lily is becoming a great help diligent companion in the kitchen.  Her favorite part is licking the spoon, whether or not the mixing/baking is completed, and whether or not the batter/contents of the bowl taste good.  She doesn't seem to mind the flavor of straight flour, nor the taste of pancake batter.

4.  Dentistry:  I don't have a picture for this one, but it NEEDS to be recorded.  Last week on Thursday, Chase and I both had dental appointments.  His was at 8am and mine was at 11am, so we got all the cleaning and dental bills out of the way in one fell swoop.

I got the text at 8:45, "I'm cavity free!"  Nice, honey.  I hate you!  You haven't been to the dentist in 2 years and you get a clean bill of health.  I have the dentist on speed dial and she's practically my best (most expensive) friend.  Awesome.  I just hope Lily gets your teeth.

So then I go in for my appointment at 11.  As the hygienist takes me back, she says with a smile in her voice, "I met your husband this morning.  He is so nice!"  I reply with smile, "Yeah, he's a keeper!" and we spend the next 5 minutes talking about how wonderful my husband is.  Thirty minutes later with my teeth now clean, the dentist slides into her chair for a quick exam.  She says, "So, your husband is funny and great!  I mean, my husband's great, but yours is funny too."  I smile in that mouth-wide-open-way and say something like "Aaaah-huuuuh" while she continues to say how great Chase is.  With a clean bill of health (not a single watch on any of my teeth!) I head to the front counter to assess the damages.  One of the dental assistants is filling out a chart by the receptionists.  She looks up and says, "Hey!  We met your husband this morning - he's like a poster child for a great husband!"  Seriously.  That's what she said.  Not kidding.  I'm not sure how much he paid them all, but it was an impressive feat.  I walked out of there wondering what he did that was so impressive - were they really that amazed to meet a man who could put up with me, including my soft teeth?  Evidently.


5.  The Pool.  Last week on Monday I went to City Hall and bought a family pool pass.  We live about a block from the pool, and I didn't want to feel guilty about popping over there whenever Lily and I felt like it this summer, so I dropped the $90 for the pass.  Monday evening, Chase, Lily and I donned our suits and headed for the pool.  The second I unstrapped her from her stroller, Lily said, "All done swimming!"  She continued to repeat the phrase for the following 5 minutes, pulling her feet up like a frightened little turtle any time they threatened to get remotely damp.  We left after 5 minutes in utter defeat.

We tried again on Wednesday when some friends called to say they would be at the pool for a while.  I spent the entire 40 minutes standing in 3 inches of water, holding Lily (who refused to get down).  She was, clearly, "all done swimming."

This Wednesday we went for attempt #3 (see picture below).  We were FULLY equipped.  Swimming suit, sunglasses, flip flops, towel, drink, snacks ("Elmo bears," her favorite).  I was determined.  And it finally paid off!  She sat on my lap for the entire hour, but we started out sitting by the water slides and watching the kids come whooshing down them.  We inadvertently got splashed by "silly kids" playing in the pool, and by the time we moved over by the diving boards 30 minutes later, my little observer of life was thoroughly enjoying observing while her legs hung down into the water.  She was so upset she cried when we packed up to go home.  VICTORY!!!!!  The pool pass was not lost money.  :)  

Despite the face, I promise, she loved the pool!  And yes, she rocked those shades for the entire hour.  She is one classy little girl.

I deserved the look below.  This was when she realized we were packing up to go home, not just stopping at the stroller for more Elmo bears.

6.  Bible School:  This week has been Bible School at our church.  Lily has been at the sitter's for 2 of the days and has come with for 2 of the days.  Despite my being a co-leader of crafts, Lily has done very well at VBS.  I appreciate her go-with-the-flow spirit and the way she observes to learn your expectations before she dives in.  She's been so good at VBS that everyone (leaders/adults and kids alike) seem genuinely disappointed when she's not with me.  And Lily seems to enjoy everyone as much as they enjoy her - then again, of course she loves the grandmothers in charge of the snacks who sneak her goodies all morning long...

At any rate, it's been a wonderful couple of weeks - a couple of weeks where I am beginning to see my baby as my little girl, a person unique unto herself with thoughts, opinions, words and wishes that are hers alone.  Let's just face it:  she's the best.  At least that's what I think.  :)

Imperfect Love

Have you ever loved imperfectly?  So imperfectly that it hurt - badly - to admit to yourself how imperfectly you've loved?  

I love my husband imperfectly, and I guess I'm used to realizing how imperfectly I love him (sorry, honey).  But tonight was really hard for me.  As I read If You Give a Cat a Cupcake to Lily before I put her to bed, I choked up.  I almost couldn't finish the book.  It's not a sappy book.  In fact, it's about as adorably un-sappy as they come.  It was just that as I read it, I was thinking back over the day and realizing how imperfectly I loved my little girl.

The day started out wonderfully with breakfast and a play date with friends that was SO much fun!  Toward the end when there were just a few of us left at our house, we got out Lily's Princess Jeep.  She's still too little for it, really, but we have it rigged so she doesn't have to push the pedal, and one of us walks around the yard with her while she "drives" to ensure no trees are injured.  (*disclaimer* There is a video floating around Facebook where the neighbor's tree gets in the way of the Jeep.  I contend that it was Photo Shopped...)

Lily and her friend Lucy drove the Jeep all over the yard, but I could never get the two of them looking at me at the same time for a picture!

I like this last one.  It's like they're driving away into the sunset, or like they're off to live the rest of their lives, or like they're headed straight for Lily's trike and the side of the house...

The morning was so much fun!  I felt like a good mom, like I'd FINALLY hosted that play date I've been meaning to have for months, and like I provided my daughter with a great morning of interaction, stimulation and learning.  Then we had an abbreviated lunch (due to the impending necessity of a nap), and I put her down for her nap (to much objection).  Maybe it was with that objection that the twinge of guilt over imperfect love started...

At any rate, she napped, I made cookies, she got up, we played in the yard, talked to the neighbor, went for a bike ride, and headed home.  I decided that despite the fact that it was about 5:00 pm, we should put on our swimming suits and make the first trip to the pool this summer.  Lily cried through the putting on her swimming suit process.  She cried through the heading out the door to the pool process.  She enjoyed the stroller ride, but then sulked in my lap as we sat on the edge of the pool and I tried to trick her into dipping her feet into the water.  She pulled her feet up and whined in protest any time a drop of water touched her.

After a few minutes of complete and total pool failure, we packed up and headed home.  Then when I offered supper, she was too cranky to even consider it, so she stood on her kitchen stool and cried.  I made her a PB&J and put a can of beans in front of her on the counter as she stood on her stool, and within minutes it was all gone.  The kid was hungry, for goodness sake!  

Once she had some calories in her, Lily's evening improved markedly, but she spent most of what remained with her daddy in the den while I worked on some things in the kitchen.  By the time I put her to bed, all that was playing in my mind was the failed pool attempt, and (I forgot to mention it above) the failed potty training attempt that ended in wet underwear and shorts but no remorse or understanding on Lily's part, which made me feel like a bad mom because I'm pushing the potty thing when I should just let her be 20 months old for heaven's sake and enjoy her being 20 months old instead of trying to make her older than she is!  

Just about the time the cat (in If You Give a Cat a Cupcake) was going to the museum to see the dinosaurs as I read to Lily, that's when it all hit me.  I don't love Lily perfectly.  I was frustrated with her fussing, when really I should have given her supper.  I was frustrated with her unwillingness to enjoy the pool, when really I shouldn't have pushed her to go - I was the one who wanted to go so badly.  

I have so much to learn, so much to improve, so much to grow - and I didn't even mention any of the ways I loved my husband imperfectly or how far behind I am on those "wifely" tasks like picking up and laundry and dishes.  I feel selfish and foolish for thinking that maybe I'm ready for the next thing when I can't even get right this thing I have now.

But then I remind myself that I'll never get it exactly right.  I can't.  I'm human (much as I hate to admit it).  Perhaps the thing that was so hard to realize today was that I can't get love right.  If I don't keep my house clean or if I don't get the laundry folded (which I never do when I should...  Let's be honest, who does?), then who cares?  No one is hurt as long as it doesn't get too out of hand.  But if I love poorly?  If I get that wrong, then what?

I'm not sure what happens then, but I do know that there is One who knows what Perfect Love looks like.  Guess I need to do a little more studying and work on how I love...