Holding on for dear life

I can't quite let it go.  I just can't yet.  (Also, I found my camera and the stars have aligned such that I have time and energy to write tonight - the house is clean, the laundry is caught up, the kids are in bed, the dishes are done, and it's only 9:12.  Truly a miracle!)  So here are some things we did this summer that I loved.

Also, I'll include some Lilyisms and Connor stories...

The Pool and Marriage

Ready for the pool - toys, sunglasses and all.

This summer Lily has thought through many serious things.  Things beyond her years, truly.  A few weeks ago, we were all sitting at supper, and she sighed this really heavy sigh.  "When I'm 6, I'll have to pick a husband - Roman or Eli or Noah."  Chase and I looked across the table at each other.  I said, "Oh, honey, you don't have to decide that now."  "But Mom when I'm 6, I'll have to pick a husband - Roman or Eli or Noah."  Chase tried, "Lily, you'll meet lots of other boys too.  Those boys are nice, but you won't have to decide for a long time and you'll know other boys by then."  The concern lasted a few more minutes until we convinced her that she could put off such a big decision until she was older, like 20 or 25 like her Aunt Kim.

Gah!  I can hardly handle the cuteness!

The pool this year was fun, especially after Lily discovered she could swim by herself where she couldn't touch as long as she had her "floaty" (Puddle Jumper Life vest) on.  For the most part, she stayed nearby, but I didn't have too worry about her too much because she hated for her face to be under the water, and she was wearing a life jacket.

Connor, a very different personality than his sister.

Unlike Lily, Connor wasn't cautious or nervous about the water really.  But he also wasn't terribly interested in it, for the most part.  He was ok to splash around in the shallow or play basketball with Mommy or Daddy in the deep for 15 minutes or a half an hour, but after that, he needed other things to distract him.  Other kids' toys, especially those water squirter things, were always popular.  He and I spent a lot of time sitting at the picnic tables while Chase and Lily actually swam.  And he often checked the unlocked lockers in the main pool area for the life guards.  Once he even found a dime (total score)!

Not what we expected, thank God!

Here's what 10 years can look like.  10 years - can you believe it?!?

On our anniversary we talked about what we would have thought if someone had told us where we'd be 10 years from now, or even more so 15 years from when we first started dating way back in high school.  We agreed that to simply know the end would have cheapened the process of getting here, and we likely would have been disappointed in ourselves had we not experienced each step of the way and the influences that have made each choice right for us.  All told, we are very happy 10 years later, and acknowledge that we're blessed beyond measure.  May we never take that for granted!

The County Fair

RIDES!!!!

Can we talk for a minute about the county fair and how much fun it is to go there?!?  I think we were there every day of the 3 days this year.  Maybe we only went 2 days, but we went twice on the third day, so... yeah.  We met dear friends there on kids' day and the littles got to ride for free for a little while!  It was hot, but that's all part of the experience, right?  Above, the two older littles in the front and the two younger in the back riding their first ride of the year together.

Dilly bar!

 After rides in the heat of the day, we stopped in the 4-H building (which is blessedly air conditioned) for a Dilly bar.  Connor had never had one, and Lily has only had one or two in her life, so this was a special treat, and cooling and delicious after being out in the heat. Clearly Connor was pleased.

My brave little boy.

Let me tell you about the above ride.  It's the one that is in the little kid section of the fair's carnival and the dragons go up in the air and spin around.  Connor kept taking me to this ride, (he doesn't talk much) telling me "Eh, eh, eh." Which meant, "I want to go on this one, Mom."  I had both kids with me, so I took Connor inside the little gate to put him on the ride and turned to ask Lily if she wanted in with him.  She was still standing outside the gate.  She literally wouldn't even come inside the gate with me while I put Connor on for fear that she'd accidentally have to go on too.  He rode all by his big boy self in that dragon, arm propped on the side like he has it, hardly cracking a smile, pleased as punch with himself that he could handle this all by himself.  He is one confident, daring little 16 month old.

Sharing the joy with siblings.

I love the above picture.  I can't tell you why, or explain what exactly it is that I love about it.  But I feel like it captures a bit of the relationship of these two creatures I get to claim as my kids.  They get along, and have really done quite well enjoying each other.  We have sibling disagreements, but more often than that I hear giggling from one or the other or both as they play together or chase each other around the house.  They gang up together against the dog or the cat (which I, of course, put a stop to if I catch them).  They invent games that elicit giggling fits, and when I peek in to see what they're doing I'm shocked because I'm sure one is going to kill the other.  But somehow they're gentle and know what each other can handle.  It's not all roses, don't get me wrong.  But already there is a love and respect there that I hope and pray we can nurture throughout their lives to full fruition into adult friendship.

Cotton Candy - the Achilles heel of me and my girl.

There has always been 1 fair food that I have to get every year.  It's just how it is, you know.  And mine has always been cotton candy.  I have a girl who has the same opinion, and we got possibly the largest bag of cotton candy I'd ever seen this year!  (Here's a tip - if you don't want to eat it all in the same day, tie the bag up tight and stick it in the fridge.  It will keep for up to a week!)  We couldn't even get through it all in the next week, but we sure tried!

The end of summer, really

1st paddle boat ride for the boy.

I love that we have little lakes around here and camps and friends with cabins.  My kids get to enjoy the pool, the lake, the sand, and everything in between.  This was a great day with a bunch of our friends at the lake to round out the close of summer.  It may have been a little chilly, but that didn't stop these three from splashing around in the lake!

Books!  I love that they love books!

Just in the last few months, probably since about 15 months old, Connor has taken an interest in books.  Praise be!  He is learning things left and right and knows so many animal sounds and can say some of the names.  Lately he has been totally enthralled with airplanes.  We saw one in the sky over the pool about 2 weeks before it closed, and every time in that last two weeks that we went to the pool, he'd point to the sky where we saw it and say "vroommmm" over and over and over and over and over and over again.  He's also liking trucks, bikes, scooters, tractors, basically anything with wheels.  Oh, and helicopters.  He loves those too right now.

Lilyisms, the best ones yet...

Lily has not only been working through the husband issue this summer, but as my belly has grown, she's been trying to figure out all this baby business.  She remembers when Connor nursed, so she knows that babies get their milk from their mommies.  For most of the summer she was satisfied with the idea that the baby came out of mommy at the hospital and that daddy and the doctor helped mommy get the baby out.  But last week, that answer was no longer going to suffice.  She pushed, specifically, and there was no way to avoid it...

"Mommy, but HOW does the baby get out of your tummy at the hospital?"  I looked into those big, rich, deep, brown, inquisitive eyes and told myself that I would never lie to her and that it was time to dive into the HOW.  "Well, you know how when you poop you have to kind of push the poop out?" I said.  The brown eyes nodded.  "Well, Mommy will have to push the baby out of her buns, kind of like when you push out poop.  [At this instant, I realize that she might think that I birth babies into the toilet!]  But I won't push the baby out into the toilet!  The doctor will catch the baby and wrap him up and give him to mommy to hold."  We got out pictures of Lily taken *right* after she was born, one even shows the umbilical cord still attached, and we talked about the umbilical cord and why babies inside mommies have it and why it gets cut and how it doesn't hurt and why we have belly buttons and what happens after the baby is born (clean up, cuddles, bath, nursing, dressing, checking vitals, etc).  

I was proud of myself last week.  She was ready, she understood, we had pictures.  I set it up in such a way that someday when she's ready, we can get into the rest of the anatomy and it will all make sense.  *Self-congratulatory pat on the back for me*

Then today, when I'm completely exhausted and Connor just got up from what should have been a 3-hour nap after only 1 hour and 15 minutes, Lily asks, "Mommy, how did the baby get in your tummy?"  

WHAT?!?!?!?!?  Can I not catch a break here?  Seriously.  I mean, I love that she is trying to figure out the world.  I love that she asks me these things.  I love that I get to experience how her brain is connecting the dots.  But do I not get a week off every now and then from hard-to-answer questions?  And shouldn't this one come when she's like a pre-teen or teen or something?  How about I just let her A&P class take care of it?!?

"Well, honey, God put the baby in there when the baby was so teeny tiny we could hardly even see him."  Little brown eyes turn to my older brown eyes to confirm that there is truth there.  Satisfied we get to talk about how our Bitty Bear has grown from a teeny tiny little baby to now being over 4 lbs.  

Whew.  Children are really amazing.  It's killing me that I am not blogging as often, because I feel like there is so much of their little lives I will forget as they get older.  But then, too, I want to spend my life enjoying them at each stage they experience rather than always looking back, yearning for what once was.  But there is value in recording a few things here and there to remember, right?

The other night Lily was making up a song as she sat on my lap.  She sang, "Mommy is great!  Mommy is fun!  Mommy is fun in her own way."  Chase and I just laughed.  Good to know I'm fun "in my own way."  She's not even 4 yet.  Where did she get that?

I can't wait till Connor actually starts putting words to his thoughts.  I can see him thinking, always processing and figuring out the world around him.  Language is there for him - he understands SO much, just about everything, really.  But he chooses to speak very little.  It will come, and when it does I feel like I'll understand him so much better.  Until then, though, I love to snuggle him in the morning when he wakes up.  I love that he loves to be outside.  I love how he still puts his little hands palm-up at his sides when he makes his high-pitched, "Eh?" that means "I don't know."  I love that he hits his chest to make the gorilla sound, and that he pinches his nose to make the goose "honk" sound.  

There is so very much to love.  I hope that you, if you've made it this far in this post, are finding the things to love in your life, and are cherishing and fighting for and defending them.  There are lies in this world that will try to convince you that such things are nuisances, financial burdens, not worth the effort, or not quite as valuable as your own comfort.  Lies.  There is no greater gift.