Living in the moment

Why don't I live in the moment more often?  Tonight, just for a few minutes, I did, and it was glorious.  When Lily was first born, I reminded myself every moment to live in the moment, because it would pass all to quickly.  But now...

Now I have so much to think about.  I'm a perfectionist (not that you'd know that by observing the state of my house), the kind of perfectionist who looks ahead and plans for every possible foreseeable problem.  And once I'm fully equipped to handle anything that might go wrong, I can move forward to planning for the next thing and things go perfectly - never.  They never go the way I plan them or the way I worry they'll go wrong, but I still keep planning ahead anyway.

And this is a problem for me because it keeps me from enjoying the thing that's happening right now.  I miss out on right now either because I'm planning for the next thing or because I'm rethinking the last thing to determine how I could plan better for next time.  Am I the only one who does this???

I've always been this way, so Lily's birth was kind of an awakening for me to live in the moment - I have cherished every moment with her, and I want to cherish every moment with her for the rest of her life and mine.  I want to cherish every moment I get to spend, because life is all too short, isn't it?  It can be hard to remember that, though, when I'm running out the door balancing squirmy toddler, computer bag, purse, diaper bag, dolly, blanket, and coffee cup.  (And after making it to the car, I always have to run back into the house to grab my phone because I always forget it!)  How do I live in that moment?  I'm so focused on not dropping or spilling anything that I lose perspective.

There will be a day when I'll be able to walk out the door with nothing but a fashionable purse (not a mommy purse) holding my wallet, keys, and phone - not a wipe or diaper, toy or cracker, sippy cup or backup outfit to balance.  And that day will be glorious, but then I'll miss these days.  And I'll wonder why I didn't just live in the moment and appreciate each one as it came.

So I guess this is just a reminder to me to live in the moment - I only get to spend each one once.  To that end, a moment I did live in and enjoy today that I'd like to remember was Lily's first bike ride.  (the first of many I hope!)  The weather was so nice today (in January!) that I hooked her new bike seat to my new bike and we took it for a spin.  She loved it.  And so did I.