A letter to my son

Dear Connor,

We're not quite 2 weeks in, and there are some things I want you to know.

First and foremost, my son, you are loved.  Unconditionally.  Always.  Forever.  I can't promise I'll love flawlessly, because I know that I won't.  But I can promise that I will love fiercely, painfully, beautifully, passionately.  I hope that as you grow, my love is never something that you question - it is something I never will question.

From the time we knew about your sister joining our family, we half-joked that she was perfect.  But we were half-serious too.  I haven't said that about you yet.  But know that I think you're perfect too.  You're perfectly formed, arrived perfectly on time (what do doctors and due dates know anyway?), are a perfect fit for our family, and are perfectly ours.

I don't feel like I know you as well as I knew your sister at this point in her life.  Or maybe it's that I have more trouble reading what you need and when.  I'm sorry that you have to cry for a minute while I get your sister settled with breakfast or a book or a toy - that's cry-time she never had to have.  I'm sorry that I can't always tell if you're hungry, or need changed, or are gassy, or just need to be snuggled.  I'll figure it out - and you'll help me.  Because we'll just keep getting to know each other better every day, ok?

I haven't spent the hours just gazing at your sweet, handsome face like I did with your sister.  Frankly, I don't have the hours to spend gazing.  But, my son, I am giving you a gift she never got - an older sibling.  Lily loves you so already - she's positively smitten with you!  She checks on you all the time, needs to know where you are, helps change your diapers, gives you your pacifier.  She can't wait to teach you to read, to run, to race, to ride a bike, to do all the wonderful things that you'll someday do.

I take pictures of you two, and they remind me of the pictures I have with my big brother.  It's hard to get pictures of just you because your sister is always so near you and you do most everything together already. Siblings are so special.  They are to be cherished.

I'll close for now with my prayer for you, and for your sister too:  

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God... (Colossians 1:9-10)

With all my love, dear Connor, my son,

Mommy