Today, I wanted to do this all day:
I'm exhausted. My body aches. I am just plain tired.
(Side note: I took those pictures on the way home from a trip to town to shop and see the doctor. It was a 5 hour trip from the time we left the house till we pulled back into the drive. The kids were SO tired. Lily didn't wake up at all as I transferred her to her bed until her head touched the pillow. At which point she informed me that she did not want to take a nap. Of course you don't dear. But you're falling asleep as you utter the last word of that sentence. I think I'll leave you in bed...)
For supper tonight I ate 1/2 lb of Farmland bacon (literally 1/2 of a package, all by myself), some Greek yogurt with strawberries sliced into it, and some mashed potato casserole that included cream cheese, butter and cheese.
You may be wondering, "Why such a
I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm very thankful and overjoyed that I know what things irritate Connor's tummy, so I can avoid them. I'll do what it takes to have a happy baby - it is Worth. It. Holy cow! I did not enjoy the few weeks he was fussy.
As I've taken lunches places, waited to eat till I got home, or eaten before going places, I've had to explain why I do such things to those I've been around. Most say something along the lines of, "Wow. That's intense. I'm glad I didn't/don't have to do that." That's a response I expect. I'm ready for it. I usually reply something to the effect of "it's worth it."
The less common response that I get when I explain my strange eating habits always surprises me. It is when someone says, "Wow. I would/did eat whatever I wanted and if the kid was fussy, then the kid was fussy."
Please hear me when I say that I'm not judging other mothers. These are simply my thoughts. As moms, parents, and individuals, we each have to do what we have to do in life. If I was in a different situation, maybe I wouldn't be so willing to change my diet. Yet the response of unwillingness to change a diet for a kids comfort and well being always catches me a little off-guard.
I'm sure I don't love my son more than these other moms love their kids. I'm sure it's not that I'm more committed. I'm not.
I read a blog today that a friend had posted on Facebook. Here it is. You should take a minute to read it: Of Breastmilk and Suffering.
I'm not Catholic, but I love the insight this mama gives from the liturgy of Mass. Motherhood and life aren't meant to be easy all the time. Sometimes we are meant to suffer. And sometimes suffering is good. Sometimes suffering is exactly what God has for us. Sometimes if "things aren't working for you" they're not supposed to be working for you, and that's part of God's plan. The question is, can we follow in Christ's footsteps. He who willingly suffered when He was called to suffer. He who gave everything for the undeserving. He who loves so perfectly.
I don't love perfectly. Of that I am sure. But changing what I eat for a short time - the blink of an eye, really - so my child is comfortable... that seems like such a minor thing. A gift of love to him, really, rather than a cross for me to bear.
If you're a mama out there with a fussy infant, if you're trying something different because you believe it will benefit your littles or family, if you're suffering through something so much more intense than diet and babies, keep after it. Perhaps, someday, you'll be able to look back on this suffering and see how it was sanctifying. How it was molding. How it was shaping, chiseling, sharpening, perfecting. So that one day you could be more Christ-like. And ultimately, isn't that the goal? It probably won't look so much like suffering in light of that. And won't that be so worth it?
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