3 Parties and a 6 month old

We have literally been partying for a week!  Lily turned 3 years old today (Oh, how very glad I am that we're past where we were 3 years ago!!!!!) And here is a record of all of the festivities...

Party #1: The Cousin Party

On Chase's side of the family, there are 5 (out of 9) cousins who all have birthdays in the month of September.  So instead of trying to cram in parties every weekend, we celebrated them all at once.  

Lily and her cousin Ella getting ready for
the business of birthdays: presents!

Lily, modeling her birthday loot.
(Yay for dress up stuff!)

Here are the 5 cousins:
Zion (2), Lily (3), Ella (6), Caleb (13), Jaryn (15)

She could NOT WAIT to dive into the cupcake.
Also notice the fancy glass she got for her birthday.
Couldn't wait to use that!

Party #2: The Uncle Party

After partying with Chase's family, we partied with my family.  Lily's Uncle Tony has a birthday a week before hers, so we went to Mom's for a party to celebrate both of them.

Lily, preparing for the birthday festivities.

Modeling the sparkly heels she got.

Opening presents.

Getting ready to blow out candles with Uncle Tony.

Party #3: The ACTUAL Birthday

With 2 parties already celebrated last weekend, that just left us with the ACTUAL birthday to celebrate today.  Last night, I started talking to Lily about not being 2 anymore.  She told me that her birthday is on "September 28th."  Yes, indeed.  I told her that we might have to start working on learning her address when she's 3.  I asked if she knew her address.  She replied, "Yes.  It's pink, isn't it, Mom." 

This is what a 2 year old going to bed looks like.

This is what a 3 year old waking up looks like.

When we asked Lily what she wanted for her birthday, she said, "Donut holes."  So her daddy went and got her donut holes first thing this morning.  She her wants won't always be so inexpensive.  We'll enjoy this while we can!  Besides, who doesn't like to start out their birthday with donut holes?!?  And why is it that donut holes taste better than donuts anyway?

Ready for church.  Isn't that a great dress?
When you're 3, you get to wear great dresses.

After church, we went to the local cafe for lunch.
The waitress overheard that it was Lily's birthday
and brought her pancake with a candle.

 

We ended the day with a party with my Dad's side of the family.
Great grandparents, Grandpa, and Aunt and Uncle.

Candles, cake, candy, and ice cream never get old!

About Lily at age 3

Lily is simply delightful as long as she's not overtired.  (When overtired, she can be a bit whiny.  And we're in that hard in-between-nap-stage.  If she doesn't nap, she's exhausted by early evening.  If she does nap, bedtime is 10 or 11.)  Her vocabulary is amazing and she's learning nuance of words.

She often tells me to "trust me, Mommy" when I tell her no to something she wants.  Still figuring out the nuance of what "trust me" means...  She also told me tonight as I put her to bed that her feelings were hurt.  Turned out her jammies were too tight on her toes.  Not exactly her feelings, but she's trying.  She also spent most of Wednesday this week trying to convince me that she had a "happy cough" not a "bad cough" because I said we couldn't go to play group because of her cough.  It's lovely!

She's starting to ask "why" a lot, and that gets frustrating for me, until I remind myself that this is how she is learning about the world around her right now.  I can't always answer the why's, but I can help her learn about the things she's experiencing.

She curtsies like a princess.  She has a caterpillar that is invisible that needs to be taken out of the bathtub after every single one of her baths.  She gets out of the tub, I wrap her in her towel, she reaches back down toward the water, and she hands me an imaginary little caterpillar.  I put it on the hood of her towel and we go get her dressed.  The caterpillar makes random appearances every now and then in other places, but he is ALWAYS in the bathtub after baths.

She tells me about her feelings, and this is something I cherish and pray continues forever.  We were driving home from lunch after church today, and Lily said from her carseat in the back, "I'm feeling sad."  I asked why she was feeling sad, and she replied, "Because I want to go to the park."  (We had just driven by the park that is 3 blocks from our house.)  "Oh," I replied, "Maybe your dad could take you to the park this afternoon.  Would that be ok?"  She nodded.  I asked how she was feeling.  "I'm feeling happy, " she confirmed.  :)

She's my girl, and I love her!

About Connor at 6 Months

Not to be left out of the action, this little guy
turned 6 months old today. And let me tell you,
he rocks this baby business!

I feel like the time with baby #2 goes by so much faster!  But then, he's been part of our family forever. It's a weird but delightful dichotomy.

He started sitting up on his own in the last week.  A week ago, he needed the Boppy around him; today, he's good on his own for a long time.

He is a strong little boy, and LOVES his jumper/exersaucer.  He spends a lot of time in it, bouncing and bouncing and bouncing and bouncing...  And he's just so pleased with himself and happy to bounce!  All the bouncing has strengthened his legs, and my little guy can stand quite well while being held upright.  He's also getting good at scooting himself around.  I have a feeling that by 7 months he'll be army crawling and by 8 months I will have to baby proof my house!

He tried his first food about a month ago, and he eats like a little champ.  ...And he gets mad when you take a break in the middle of feeding him.

Just in the last week or so, he's started crying when I leave the room and smiling when I come back.  It's fun to be recognized and wanted.  :)

But did I mention he's large?  My boy has the most wonderful, squishy thighs.  I can't get enough of them!  I squish them every time I hold him, because they are so delightful!... and heavy.  He's heavy.  My back and shoulders and neck tell me that every time I pick him up.  But I can't help myself!  :)

Connor loves his sister and watches her all the time.  He smiles every time she pays him any attention, and he reaches for whatever she's doing (which will soon become a major problem, I have a feeling).  He likes the texture of hair, and pulls mine whenever he gets the chance.

He's my boy, and I love him!

Hope and 15 years

It's been 15 years since I've talked to my brother.  15 years and one day, actually.  I'm not mad at him, and he didn't do anything wrong... Well, other than those things big brothers always do to pick on their little sisters.  But we were past that pettiness for the most part.  

We were in high school.  He came to my ball games; he drove me places; I got to tag along on some of his adventures; he could fix things and invent things.  He wasn't the most popular guy to everyone else, but that didn't matter to me.  He was my big brother.  It was a wonderful time.  

Until it wasn't.

Then 15 years ago happened.  

In the span of a split second, I grew up.  

Not really.  I was still just 13, and had so much to learn.  But I and my family learned things before we should have.  Before we were ready to.

A friend posted on her blog recently about how death teaches you things, especially tragic death, early death, death before one has lived "a full life."  I so resonated with what she described.  The casket, the vault, the physical process of preparing to lay to rest one you love.  The pain.

I wish I didn't know these things.  Wish I didn't have to know these things.  But I do.  And today I know how it feels to have not talked to one's big brother for 15 years.  

Can I tell you something?  It hurts.

It doesn't hurt in the same way it did.  It's not the searing, I-can-hardly-take-the-next-breath pain anymore.

For me it's the ache. 

I don't kid myself that Chet and I would be best friends, or even that I would think his wife (had he married, and he would have) was the best sister-in-law ever (although their kids would absolutely have been the best ever - all nieces and nephews are).  The reality of life in my family of origin is that if he lived nearby, we'd be getting together for Husker parties, family birthdays, holidays, and maybe head out to the lake together every now and then.  So I don't ache for some super-tight relationship that in reality would probably never have been.

I ache for the casual sharing of things only family members can share in that way.  Things like my babies birth and subsequent birthdays, graduations, weddings, inside jokes and frustrations and eye rolls and belly laughs that really only siblings or family members get.  Maybe I'm romanticizing what would have been, but of one thing I am certain - if Chet was still alive, I would have talked to him more recently than 15 years ago.

The intensity has waned, and the wish for the world to stop has, for the most part, passed.  Except that sometimes it rears its head, and I want to curl up under a rock (or under my pillow in bed) and pinch myself to wake up because it's all been just a horrible nightmare.  

But life continues to go on, and graduations and weddings happen without him, and babies are born, and the Huskers win and the Huskers lose.  And days and years pass.  15 years pass.

In 10 days I'll likely write about how even pain can be redeemed to be something beautiful.  In 10 days we'll celebrate what would have been Chet's 33rd birthday.  And on that same day we'll celebrate Lily's 3rd birthday.  It is a blessing to me that we celebrate that day.  It's hard to celebrate the birthday of your brother who's no longer there to celebrate it with you.  What do you do?  Get a cake?  Put candles on it for him not to blow out?  Buy balloons?  No.  You don't.  Yet, even though he's gone, I still want to and do celebrate his life.  

So God took care of that weirdness for us.  He gave us Lily.  On Chet's 30th birthday.  Miracle.  We will always celebrate that day, and now it's easier to really celebrate because we have a bright smile to carry us through it.  Someone to blow out candles and squeal with delight at balloons.  I guess I'm speaking for myself on that, because I don't really know how my parents and siblings feel, but it's how I feel.  A painful celebration redeemed by the arrival of a sweet girl.  It feels to me like a legacy is carried on.  His birthday will not be forgotten.

He will not be forgotten.

My friend wrote on her blog that if Heaven is real, it is everything to her.  With that, my friend, I can wholeheartedly relate.  Heaven is real, and it is everything to me too.  It is everything not simply because the idea of seeing my brother again is so appealing.  

It is everything to me because my God is there.  He is my hope.  If not for Him, what hope to do I have?  Why should I live this life?  Why fight the darkness that threatens to overwhelm?  Why struggle to hold it at bay?  I don't mean to be melodramatic, but seriously?  Why work so hard to live if there is nothing more than this? 

In the deepest part of my soul, eternity echos.  I was not created solely for this world.  I can feel it.  Death is so painful and difficult - even aged death - it is evident to me that it wasn't part of what we were designed to bear.  Is that not evident to you too?  And it's not just about feelings, because they can easily mislead.  Eternity and Heaven are for real.  God's Word confirms it.

I know that you may disagree with me on that - wholeheartedly disagree.  And that's ok.  It's not up to me to convince you that Heaven is for real, or any of the other things I believe.  

But because I believe those things, I have hope.  Hope to spend time in the presence of my Lord.  Hope to see my brother again.  Hope that this painful life is not all that there is.  

Today, as I and my family ache, a song echoes in my head... 

I have a hope.  I have a future.  I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me.
My life's not over.  A new beginnings just begun.
I have a hope.  I have this hope.  

I will praise Him, because He is my Hope.

(Here's a link to the song on YouTube: I Have a Hope)

The first day of school, fall of 1999.  One of the last pictures we took together.
For those who never had the privilege to meet him, let me introduce my brother, Chet Deichmann.

State fair, dance, new computers and more

How does this happen?  How does almost a month pass without a post?  The answer: I don't have time to post.  But the truth is I don't have time NOT to post!  So much that I want to remember, that I want to be able to go back and review has happened, and I need to record it!  

One thing that's been holding me back is that my beloved netbook is biting the dust.  The computer itself is actually ok, but the operating system is no longer supported.  Thus, goodbye netbook.  :(  Today I ordered our new computer, and it should get here in a few days.  That will really help, because posting will go MUCH faster.  Hurray!  :)

Things I want to remember:

CONNOR

This month has been my favorite so far with him.  He's growing like crazy.  I feel like he puts another ounce on his thighs and cheeks every day.  He's so squishy and wonderful!  In the last month he's learned to sit with support, he's becoming really good at grabbing things, and he's so attentive to all that goes on around him.  People always comment on how big his eyes are.  Someone said today that he looks really smart (I mean, OF COURSE he's smart!) because he's so attentive to everything that goes on around him.  

Connor's arms are getting really strong from lifting his big self up all the time when he's laying on his tummy.  He can fully extend and lock his elbows to lift his upper body when he's on his tummy, and he's moving his legs in a crawling motion already, propelling himself forward in his crib.  It won't be long, folks!  Course, he's got to learn to totally sit up on his own first...

I started him on cereal a week or so ago.  He LOVES to eat, and he does not prefer that runny cereal nonsense.  He likes it thick and he likes a lot of it (unless he's too tired).  He likes squash, and prunes help things go smoothly.  I think we'll do sweet potatoes and peas in the coming days.  I suspect they'll go through his lips, past his gums, look out rolls, here it comes!  :)

Connor loves to jump in his jumper thing.  It has springs and he gets so excited when he hops in it.  It makes him so excited that he drools... a lot.  I think if I got that excited I'd drool too!  I love how it takes his whole face to really smile - there is no part of his face that doesn't just glow when he's grinning!

Connor loves to be outside, and soon he'll attend his first football game (one of his cousin's games).  But for now, he's enjoying Husker football and the parties that come with it.  And so is Lily...

First Husker game.  GBR!

LILIANA

Lily is just... amazing.  Every day it's so fun to get up and do life with her.  Lately, she's taken to telling me when she's enjoying something by saying, "Mom, I'm feeling happy."  Isn't that great?!?  Where did she get that?  She has also told me "I'm feeling sad" once or twice, but mostly she's happy.  Like when we were heading to the park, when we got in the car to go to Grandma's house, when she saw the puffy clouds, when she saw the tassels on the corn.  As we pulled out of her babysitter's house this afternoon she told me, "Mom, there's the animals.  I like them: the goats, and the horse, and kitties, and the bunny rabbits..."  (There were only goats and a horse there.  She just started thinking of animals she liked and listing them.  I love her!)

Also lately, when I tell Lily to do something she doesn't want to do, or to not do something she does want to do, she tells me in an inflection I only wish I could convey, "Moooooom, TRUST me.  I need you  to TRUST me."  I fully believe she learned this phrase from me, and she's trying to apply it correctly, except it never quite fits the situation.  It's adorable!

We went to the State Fair on Labor Day, and Lily was SO excited for the fair.  She wanted to see animals, and ride rides, and have cotton candy.  Which was ideal, because that's what fairs are for, right?  As we walked through the entrance gate pushing Connor and her on the double stroller, she told Chase and I, "This is the best day EVER."  Experiencing life through the eyes of a 2 year old is awesome.

At the State Fair I just wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel,
so Chase took me.  What a great guy!

Mom, who went with us, watched the kids
so we could ride the Ferris Wheel.  Thanks Mom!

Lily waiting for her first ride to start - the motorcycles.

She was a good driver!

Her other ride was a car ride.  2 going on 16.

The biggest thing in Lily's life this fall is that we started her in dance class.  It's 30 minutes once a week, but this girl is SO EXCITED!!!  We registered her about 2 weeks ago and got her shoes.  Then last Friday I told her that today, Tuesday, was dance day.  She spent most of Friday and all of Saturday trying to convince me that it was "Twos-day."  (She holds up 2 fingers every time she says "Twos-day.")  By Sunday she understood that she couldn't change days just by willing it to change or trying to convince me, so Sunday and Monday she waited patiently.  

Then today arrived!  First she went to the sitters while I worked, then I picked her up, we did a few things around town, and came home to get ready for DANCE!!!!  Here are the pictures...

Pre-dance energy boost.  Only 26 minutes to go!

Dressed and checking out the outfit in the mirror.
She had to try a few different poses to make sure it looked good.
It did.

At the dance studio, waiting for her class to start!

A good luck kiss and hug from Daddy.

Tap shoes in her bag, she headed off into the dance room.
She didn't even look back, folks.  Totally confident.  Totally precious.
Totally growing up too fast.

In dance class.  She is the one with her back perfectly to the camera,
3rd from the left, closest to the camera.

Daddy watching her do her thing.

It was a lot of fun to watch her "dance."  I would have given a lot to be a fly on the wall in that dance studio.  It seemed like she did the opposite of what everyone else was doing most of the time.  Everyone was sitting still in a circle, she was bouncing about on her knees.  Everyone was standing looking in the mirror, she was sitting looking at the teacher.  Everyone was sitting looking in the mirror, she was standing raising her arms in the air.

When she got out of class, she told me that she obeyed her teacher.  So either she was super obedient and just did everything as soon as her teacher SAID to and before all the other kids figured out what to do, OR she lied.  I'm pretty sure she was fantastic though.  From everything I saw, she was absolutely the perfect ballerina.

So much to remember.  So excited for the new computer to come.  Glad to be caught up on life on the blog again.  To quote Lily, "I'm feeling happy."