All the life

This will be the most picture-heavy blog post I’ve ever written.  And it’s because the last 7 weeks and 2 days have held more life for me than I could even remember till I went back and looked again.  And as this is my blog to remember my life, here are the things about the last 7 weeks and 2 days that I want to remember…

It all started on Monday, October 10.  I was in my first trimester of pregnancy with baby #4, and I had a 5 year old, a 2 ½ year old, and an almost 1 year old at home with me.  I was exhausted, as one always is in the 1^st trimester and when one has littles.  But that morning I noticed how grungy the fronts of my kitchen cabinets were.  They weren’t brand new cabinets or anything.  They were well-loved, oft-used cabinets in our rental.  But they were gross.  And it had to stop.  That. Morning.

So I did what any reasonable person would do.  I spent a good deal of time that morning scrubbing cabinet fronts and at one point I remember thinking, Huh.  I wonder if I’m doing this so that I won’t have to do it when we move someday.  I wonder if something is going to happen soon that way.

Things were getting seriously cozy in our 2-bedroom with 3 kids.  We’d recently moved the “master” bedroom to our den, so the kids didn’t all share a room.  Nap schedules and light sleepers made 3 in 1 room no longer feasible.  But our bedroom being in the den meant that our second living space went away.  We spent ALL our time in the living room, and it was cozy.  But we loved it!

That very night as Chase drove home, he noticed a “For Rent” sign in the yard of a huge house in town.  He asked if I minded if he called on it.  I didn’t get my hopes up, because I assumed the rent would be WAY out of our ballpark, and the odds that this would work out (after all the other doors we’d knocked on hadn’t) was slim.  But it can’t hurt to ask!

Tuesday morning, October 11, Chase called and set up to view the house that very morning at 11.  It was a huge 4 bedroom, 2 bath, open floorplan, beautiful, old house.  There were some quirks – things that were deal-breakers for me, but also things that could be changed easily if the landlord was willing to let us do the work.  (And by do the work, I mean pay our talented family members to do the work!)

By 12:30 Chase was on the road to work and we’d agreed that we needed to sleep on it for a few nights.  The rent was enough higher, the quirks were involved enough, we have a dog and cat and the landlord wasn’t a fan of animals (I can’t blame him.  It rarely works out well with renters with animals.) – it all just seemed not quite right yet.

At 12:45 I got a call from Chase.  He’d called the landlord and after talking a bit, the landlord (who said he had 5 other interested couples) offered to lower the rent to fit what we could afford.  The animals were no longer a problem.  We could change the quirks that I couldn’t live with.  And if we were ever interested in rent-to-own, that was an option too.  (P.S. I don’t think we’ll buy this house, but if we decide we want to, it’s an option.)

At 1:30 on Tuesday, the new landlord stopped by to pick up the deposit.  Done.  Overnight.  CRAZY!  (Do you see God winking in this… cuz that’s all I see.)

I stood in my kitchen in my 2-bedroom house with my 3 kids playing around me that afternoon and I wept.  I would have room for my new baby.  I didn’t have to spend the winter in my tiny house that I loved, but that was just getting too small for the way we live life!  (Hear me when I say I know many people live with many more people in much smaller space than we were in – but it was not right for us anymore and the Lord provided another option!)

Remember those cabinets I cleaned on MONDAY and then on
TUESDAY I find out I'm moving.  Coincidence? I think not. 

Ok, so let's move on to Tuesday night.  I was pumped and nervous and there was SO much to be done and I was SO tired.  The lease for the new house started on November 1, and as per the agreement with the new landlord, we got some off our first month's rent if I (and my dear friends and family who helped!) cleaned the new house so he didn't have to.  It was overwhelming.

I couldn't sleep.  Like, in my first trimester, I can sleep 10-14 hours a night if permitted.  I couldn't sleep at all.  Finally sometime between 4 and 5am, I ended up on the couch and eventually dozed off.

Wednesday morning, October 12, 7:00am.  Chase wakes me from a doze to say that one of my dearest friends who is expecting her first in about 8 weeks just called.  She's bleeding.  (I'm her person. *Added note* This girl has more "people" than anyone I know.  Her network is AMAZING, so it's not like I'm the only one in her court.  Her family is incredible, her network of close friends is unmatched, her support system is broad and deep and walks life with her like none I've ever seen.  But.  I'm her person for labor and delivery and walking these early days of motherhood...)

I curse.

That's why I was up all night - something was going on and I knew it but I didn't know what it was.  So.

I race to her house, get her in the car.  To the hospital.  Praying there's a heartbeat when we get there.  Outwardly as calm as I can be.  Inwardly as worked up as I've ever been, knowing we're seconds between the possibility of life and death.  Praying for green lights all the 25-mile drive.  Getting green lights.  Somehow beating morning traffic.  There is hope.  Emergency C-section.  Chimes play in the hospital for his birth at 8:15am.

Born at 31 weeks and 5 days, this little one is a fighter
just like his mother.  It was a close call - so close I
cry when I let myself think about it.  But we made it.
Just in the nick of time.

I spent a good deal of the next week bouncing between the hospital and home, and by dear family carried the brunt of my being all over.  Chase is a saint.  He's stepped up so many times to support me these past weeks.  And my family and friends.  Seriously.  Foster those relationships and give of yourself for them.  Because someday you'll need them and it's so humbling and so beautiful to watch the family and the body of Christ function just as it's supposed to in times of need.

In the midst of all the medical stuff our dear friends
were going through, my little one started talking!
It's a fuzzy picture (because he's always moving),
but it's his first word, "duck."

Once we made it through the emergency stuff and everyone was
settled and beginning the long road of recovery, it was time to turn
my attention back here, to my dear family and home.  Looking back
I can't believe how small our old house was!  But we lived in it
and made it work, and I honestly loved it.  (In this picture, notice
the empty spaces in the entertainment center under the TV on the left.
Lily and Connor were SO excited to move that they packed the first
2 boxes.  I wouldn't let them pack their toys or books, but I did let
them pack the movies.  It was a team effort and kept them occupied for
a good 45 minutes!  It was so sweet!)

Ugh.  And then.  In the midst of life, life happens, you know?  So one Friday night in October, one of Chase's friends came to town and they went to a local football game.  So I'm home with the kids, and I get them to bed at a decent hour and think, this is great!  I'll get a bunch of packing done!  But then...

Then I drop what I think (at the time) was a pen down the dryer lint trap...

Why do they put the dryer lint traps in such a
horrible place?  I mean, really, as if that isn't just
ASKING for a pen to fall down it!?!

I absolutely can't have ink all over our clothes and ruin the old landlord's dryer only a week or two before we move out of their house!  So I do the natural thing and Google "how to get a pen out of a dryer lint trap."

The first blog I read was of some poor military wife (whose husband was deployed) who initially drug her dryer out of her laundry room and down the hall to where she had room to turn the dryer upside-down to try to get the pen to fall out that way.  Blessedly she shared that this tactic is useless and moved on to other options.

I saw the light and laughed with/at her and got my advice elsewhere...

Turns out it's not that complicated to get to the bottom of the lint trap.  There's just a bunch of screws on the back of the dryer you have to take off.  But some of the screws are in hard-to-reach places.  I can run a screwdriver - it's not that complicated - so I got the back of the dryer off, eventually.  And man.  It was G-R-O-S-S!

Lint from who knows how long ago along with screws, pen parts, fake fingernails, men's dress shirt collar corners, buttons.  Yuck!

I never did find the "pen" I dropped but I couldn't get any more gunk out, so I screwed everything back together (it was painstakingly slow because of the screw placement - small areas to stuff your hands into and then try to spin something... Ugh.), put the vent hose back in place, pushed the dryer back, and started up the dryer...

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

Silence.

Ugh.

So I continue reading on Google and find out that maybe something got stuck in the fan blades.  I should check there.

Naturally, the fan blades are right next to the bottom of the lint trap, so I have to remove all those same screws again.  I'm fed up enough that I go looking for a different tool and low and behold, after hunting through every tool box we own (like 3 small ones, because, let's face it, we're not very handy that way.), I found one that dramatically increased my disassembling/assembling speed!

Once I get in there, I find the culprit of all the trouble: a screw.  Sitting there, mocking me from between two of the fan blades.

Should be an easy grab, right?  Ha.

There was a lip on the edge of the casing around the fan blades exactly the height to stop one from rolling a screw out of the casing, and then the blades themselves were super close together so as to make a pinch grab impossible.  Additionally, I had to reach around and through some sharp metal pieces and... it just.  It took forever.

But I got it!  And as I was screwing in the last screw, Chase and his friend walked through the door.  Isn't that just like life?

But the dryer works!  More efficiently than ever in my opinion with all that lint and yuck out of there.

On with packing and life...

This little bit got transferred to a more highly
qualified NICU and began to put on weight and
grow.  I know it sounds crazy, but he actually looks
SO much better in this picture than he did when
he was initially born!  He and his mama continued
to improve little by little.

In the midst of moving, there was no way I was going to host a 1st birthday party, but first birthdays are big for me.  My kids don't remember them, but I do.  And they matter.  At least to me first birthdays do.  It's like I need to celebrate that we made it.  That first year is so physically involved - labor, delivery, nursing, nights, carrying, feeding, hauling, there's just so many things that can be forgotten, go wrong, or that I feel like as a mom I can mess up.  So my kids' first birthday parties have really been for me, to celebrate that we made it!

Since there was no way to host, I invited our dearest friends and family to a big party at my favorite pumpkin patch!  It was a couple of hours of wonderful celebration of this guy:

My little pumpkin.  One year old!

Birthdays are serious business around here.

He totally got the whole cake-thing.  :)

It was a wonderful celebration!  Thanks to those who came to celebrate with us!

After the party, the packing really began in earnest.  We were within a week of moving!!!

The books were the first to be packed.  Dear friends,
these books, who were a joy to get out again at
the new place!

The first 12 of about 100 boxes that were packed.

Despite moving, it was still fall and Halloween was just around the corner, and we'd just been to the pumpkin patch, so there were pumpkins to be carved!  The kids and I took it on one afternoon...

Spencer was my only child who would even touch
the pumpkin guts and seeds.  The older two watched
from a distance. 

Not only did he touch the guts, he adopted a large
hunk of guts as his own and carried it all over the yard.
And he took a few seeds with him too.

We had a little pumpkin, Cookie Monster, and Snow White (complete
with an apple as part of her costume) for Halloween this year.

This dear one was finally no longer intubated,
so he could be held, snuggled, cuddled.  Easily
the tiniest little I've ever held outside of my body.
And I hope he forever is the tiniest I ever hold outside
of my body.  He and his mom continued to take
steps toward eventually coming home.

12 weeks.  I definitely popped earlier with this
one than any of the others!

The community we have around us here is out of this world!  I feel like I've been blessed throughout my life to always have friends and/or family around to help when I've needed things, but this time... People showed up without being asked, they pitched in to do things I didn't even think of doing.  They carried me, truly carried me as we packed up, cleaned, prepared.  And they fed me and my family again and again.  THANK YOU to all who had a part in making our move happen!

The playroom - ready to move into.
One night 6 women showed up to help wipe down
walls, clean out cupboards, scrub bathrooms, and
the hours it saved me are overwhelming!

The TV room, ready to move into.  My mom took
some time off work to just go with me the day before
the move and do whatever I asked.  It was amazing
and exhausting.  She's the best!

Moving day!!!

The kids spent the day between my mom and my mother in law, and they did wonderfully through the whole process.  They slept, they ate, they were obedient, and delightfully themselves, which was so refreshing as I muddled through the chaos of the move.

It took 3 hours and we had 18 different people help during that time.  That doesn't include some who helped in the weeks leading up and others who helped after moving day.  It was really amazing!

Standing in the living room, looking into the
playroom the day after we moved in.  Boxes,
clutter, chaos.  Not how I live.  I was not fun to
be around for about a week.

The kitchen.  I HATE HATE unpacking the kitchen.  Because I
want to do it once and do it right and not have to move things
around, but I also don't know how I'll want it till I live in it a bit,
and paper plates just don't cut it.  Blessedly, all of those cupboards
had been wiped out and carefully lined with contact paper by people
who love me by serving me.  It was amazing when I finally did
get the guts to unpack the kitchen.

Another view of the playroom.  What you can't see is that behind
the boxes stacked 5-high, are 2 MORE rows of boxes stacked that
high!!! ARG!

A week after the move, most of the rooms were functional, but it just takes time to settle into a new place.

The settling is beginning.

Life events don't happen in isolation, so very shortly after the move, I had a wisdom tooth pulled.  I had 6.  Yes, 6.  Four were removed when I was in college, and this tiny one has slowly made it's way down and it broke through my gum line at the same time Spencer was teething.  (I was much more generous with Tylenol for him after that!)

I say I had a wisdom tooth pulled and people think it was a big deal.  It wasn't.  It was like having a baby tooth pulled.  My dentist actually told me that if I didn't keep the tooth, then she would because she thought it was so cute!  I wouldn't call it cute, but I did keep it and relieve her of that responsibility.

Wisdom tooth #5.  Only one more to go, someday.

The kids woke up one morning to the first snow
of the season, so naturally we had hot chocolate
for breakfast.

When you're a mom of littles, all you really want for things like birthdays or Mother's Day is a hug from your family, a good night's sleep, and a weekend away.  And that never happens, because you're a mom of littles and they need you and you need them.  But.

This year, I asked if Chase would "give" me a trip to see my college roommate.  I asked if my mom would go with, and my college roommate's mom came too.  We all met at my roomie's house in Iowa City and had a grand 24 hours together!

Breakfast at a packed diner.  Obvious why it was packed as we
ate the food!

My roommate recently got engaged, so we got in on the dress shopping... and found THE dress!!!!

It's truly perfect!  I cannot WAIT to see it again!!!!

Thanksgiving happened recently, and when you have kids in school, you get to do things like help throw parties for holidays!  I was in charge of games for the preschool's Thanksgiving party.  We played pin the tail on the turkey and charades, and the class, though they were missing a couple, did a great job!

Lily (second from left) with her classmates.

I didn't get any pictures of Thanksgiving, though we spent it with my family and Chase's.  Wonderful times had by all, more food than any family could possibly eat, and plenty of laughter.

We always try to set up the Christmas tree on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  Spencer was especially interested in the decor this year.

"Ooooooo!"

On Monday, I got out the rest of the Christmas decorations, and the
kids had a mid-morning tea party with my Christmas mini-tea sets
while I worked on decorating.

Boy, didn't that go fast from 12-weeks to 16-weeks!?!  SO much happened that it seemed like forever and the blink of an eye all at once...

I had all 4 kids with me at my 16-week appointment.  Usually I
try to just take the one in my belly, but this time it worked out
to have all of them along.

I have been surprised at how much the kids have talked about the old house.  We were in the new house all of 2 days when Lily said to me, "Mom, I think we should move back to the old house next week."  This, from the girl who was so excited to move, she packed the first boxes!

She's been in tears more than once because she misses "the big tree in the front yard."  I don't remember her caring that much about the tree until we moved.  Chase took the kids back to the old house so they could see it empty, and that helped some, but they still want to go back and see it every now and then.

There were tears when I stopped outside the old house to take
this picture.  It was a wonderful house.  And it's wonderful that
we have a house that is 2x the square footage now!

And now, for the grand finale!

Welcome to our home...

This is just inside the front door, looking toward the back of
the house.  I'm standing by the Christmas tree.

A very similar picture, but I'm standing by the desk now, so you
can see the kids craft table to the right, and the door into the
bathroom.  There's a little passage way there that also leads to
the playroom and the door to the basement (storage) is right there.
Also, the stairway to go upstairs is to the right of the kids craft
table.

Standing in the dining room looking back at the front room.
The front door is to the left of the Christmas tree.

Standing in the front room looking into the TV room.
The Christmas tree is to my right as
I took the picture. That's the front door there on the right. There are
emergency lighting and exit signs throughout the house.  It was once
a dress shop, and these bits of fire code were never removed.
Quirks I can live with for now.

Standing in the TV room doorway looking toward the playroom.

Standing in the TV room looking straight back through the
playroom to the laundry room.

Standing in the laundry room looking back through
the playroom to the TV room at the front of the
house.

I don't know if those pictures make any sense at all or not, but we're in.  No boxes.  Normal life.  I'm so glad the last 7 weeks are over and I never have to live them again!

Maybe another time I'll post pictures of the upstairs and all the bedrooms, but for now, this will do.  The little guy born 7 weeks ago today still isn't home yet, though thanks to the good work of medical professionals and the faithful being-there-ness of his mother, he's very close.  We'll find out in another few weeks if we'll be welcoming a boy or a girl.

And that's about all of life I can handle at the moment.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas season!