Hard

Sometimes life is just hard.  Not like, "I burned supper" or like "my clothes don't fit right" hard.  Not even "my kid is sick" hard or "I'm not sure how I'm going to cover my car insurance this month" hard.

Those things are hard too.  But sometimes life is like "I don't know which move to make but I have to make a move" hard or "I hate that tightening in my stomach when I see that phone number again and again" hard.  Or even like "I don't know how I'm going to cover my car insurance this month, let alone all of the other bills piling up for months in front of me" hard.  

It's like life just knocks the wind out of you sometimes, but you can't stop.  So you stumble on, breathless, praying your foot falls on solid ground and not in another hole because you already twisted your ankle.  Twice.

I'm ok.  Chase is ok.  Our children are ok.  Nothing is wrong in our world.  Except that people all around us are facing hard things.  Really hard things.  Not #firstworldproblems.  Many of them, most of them #sinproblems.  And while we try really hard not to take on burdens that are not our own, we also walk through the valleys with these people, because we love them.  And that's what love does.

That's not to say that these dear ones committed the sin that has them facing their particular difficulty.  For many that's not the case.

Instead, many times, these people I love are left picking up the pieces after someone else's "mistake," "screw up," "bad decision," or whatever other word you want to use for sin.

There are times life feels so rosy I can almost forget we live in a broken world.  

Not tonight.  Tonight everything feels very broken.  

Like, can't anyone figure out that the decisions you make affect those around you, and that matters?  Can't people see that so often it's the innocent that really pay the price?  What darkness is this, what lies play in people's minds that convince them to do these things - often over, and over, and over, and over again?

But then, I know the answer.  

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Ah.  That blasted devil.

So life is hard sometimes.  Truly hard.

And we soldier on.  Because as long as there is the breath of life, there is hope.  Because as long as the sun rises again, there is hope.  Because somewhere, deep in our deepest souls we know we just can't give up.

And so we continue to walk through the valley, knowing that somewhere, perhaps just on the other side of that rise, there is a mountain.  And when we finally claw our way to the top, it will all be worth it.