Today at church we celebrated Sanctity of Life Sunday, a day to commemorate the sanctity of human life, specifically regarding the unborn. This was particularly emotional for me because I will celebrate 29 weeks of pregnancy tomorrow. As we prayed for expectant mothers facing the choice of life or abortion, my son did calisthenics inside my womb. Blame it on wacky hormones, but I teared up.
I wanted my 2-year-old daughter before I conceived. I wanted my unborn son before I conceived. I wanted and want to be a mother, their mother. But I have also had moments in each pregnancy where I wondered, What in the world did I do? Can it be undone?
Is there anything quite so intimidating or terrifying as becoming a parent, or becoming a parent again? And is there anything quite so hard?
As we prayed for the unborn, for their mothers, for our leaders, for our nation, I thought of my pregnancy complaints this week: stretchmarks appearing ALREADY (at 29 weeks! Where in the world is this baby going to go for the next 11 weeks, and what will that mean for my body?!?), backaches that keep me up at night, waking up to roll over when I do finally fall asleep despite my back, waddling as I walk, not being able to pick things up off of the floor without much effort and inevitable heartburn, and let's not even talk about bladder weakness, putting on socks, or the future prospect of labor and delivery. And my pregnancy has been EASY - no real morning sickness or complications of any kind. And I have a husband and family who surround, uphold, encourage, support, spoil, and pamper me to no end!
I thought about those women who face the decision of life or abortion, and I feel for them. Many of them don't have a great support system, many of them may face very difficult pregnancies with complications, many of them are real with themselves about how incapable they feel of being a parent. I get it. I get why they make the choice to abort.
BUT
But understanding why they make the choice, having sympathy for the challenges they face, feeling my body change and knowing that they don't want to/don't feel capable of handling those changes - none of that changes the fact that abortion ends a life.
I don't know what your moral code is, but according to the moral code by which I live my life, that is murder and murder is wrong. So while I sympathize, while I understand, I cannot simply overlook that abortion is never a better option than life. I do not believe that size, location, quality of life, being wanted, or ability to sustain life independent of modern technology determine humanity. And if they don't, then the fact that a person is tiny, inside a womb, may not have the middle-class lifestyle, tmay not be wanted by their biological parents, or may not be able to survive apart from a breathing machine aren't reasons to end the life. It's as simple as that.
While that is my stance, I also want to take a moment to acknowledge again the hard work that is parenting. Over the past 3 years (since I conceived my daughter), I have learned that there are no vacations. There are no days off. There is nothing about parenting that is easy. I thought the infant stage with constant physical demands was hard. But then came the challenge, lifelong challenge, of character formation and development.
What am I supposed to do when I tell her to look at me, and she looks straight ahead while rolling her little brown eyeballs over to look at me out of the corner of her eye? What am I supposed to do when I tell her to go into the house and she just crosses the threshold from the garage to the house? What do I do when I tell her, no, you can't have applesauce right now, and she goes over and hits the fridge as hard as she can, then turns to look at me to see how I'll react? Do I spank? Do I do time out? Do I give her a look? Do I ignore the behavior? And what if Chase and I respond differently? What teach her that the status of her heart is more important to me than the location of her body?
And compared to the years to come, these are easy years, I'm told!?!
This article talks about some of the challenges of being a stay at home mom: Why My Wife's Job is Harder than Mine
I share it, not because it's in any way about who has the harder job. I'm not even a full-time stay at home mom. I work part-time. I share it because the author has a deep understanding of how important teaching and instruction in the home is. He also shows great appreciation for the work and efforts of his spouse. And you know what? I bet his spouse greatly appreciates all he does for her. And that will translate to the kids - what a great gift.
Parenting is hard, on so many levels. But, you know, despite the struggle, despite the effort, despite the stretch marks, sleepless nights, aching back, and life never again really being about me, there is nothing I would rather do.
Motherhood will cost you EVERYTHING. But the payback is worth every "sacrifice." In fact, they don't even really feel like sacrifices in light of the resulting blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment