Humor in the midst

We've had a rough go of it around here, in our little community.  In the last week alone, we've lost to cancer a fantastic guy who was a great husband and a father of two young children, and we've lost a 2 year old little pixie of a girl.  One death "expected" and so agonizing, the other utterly shocking.  These are the two I know personally, the two for whom I wept bitterly.  I know of at least 7 other losses tangentially through various people and a number of others going through great suffering of other kinds too.

"When it rains it pours," so the saying goes.  Well, I'm ready for a drought.  P.L.E.A.S.E.

My heart has been so heavy in my chest that while I've accomplished those necessary things, I've struggled to be happy.  I've felt guilty that I don't have to live those nightmares.  I've been heavily burdened as I know so many in our community have been as well.  We mourn with those who mourn, and that is good.

But tonight I was finally able to laugh.  Not just a smile, not just a courtesy laugh.  A real, deep, from-the-depths-of-my-soul and with-my-whole-being laugh.  And as I sat alone in my living room watching my 21-week pregnant belly jiggle with laughter, I realized how heavy a load I'd been carrying.  I could feel the weight lift from my shoulders and relish the freedom of humor.

I never know who, exactly, reads these things I write, but I do know that a number of you are as heavily burdened lately as I am, so this is for you...

One of my favorite blogs to read, every now and then when I get a chance, is Crappy Pictures.  It's a mom who draws crappy pictures and tells funny stories of her family, mostly her two boys, (roughly) ages 3 and 5.  I'll warn you, it's not the "sweet" kind of mom blog, but the kind that makes you giggle out loud as you read, sometimes shocked at the bluntness, but grateful for the humorous point of view.

Tonight, what broke the burden, made me laugh hysterically such that my husband called from the other room to see what the fuss was about, was a post from the Crappy Pictures blog.

Serious things lie ahead.  Tomorrow we will remember in a memorial service a little life ended almost before it started.  But even in the midst of hurt and pain and sorrow and burden, laughter is such a good thing.  It heals.

I hope you enjoy... Jedi Names*

Also, a quick little Lily-ism.  She woke up this morning saying, "I wag my tail."  That was the first thing she told her dad when he went to get her out of her crib and the first thing she told me when he brought her to me in our bedroom.  I SO wonder what she dreamed...

*(For those not "internet savvy," click on the phrase "Jedi Names" above - it's a link that will take you to the funny blog that made me laugh.  Also, isn't it great that no one knows who reads these instructions before understanding what to do?  You don't have to tell anyone you're "internet clueless" - You can pretend you're internet savvy, like, "oh yeah, I totally knew what that link was without reading those extra instructions."  For all those who needed these instructions, I'll just say, you're welcome that I included them.  Now go read the blog and laugh!)