Christmas and other recent activities

Turning 30

The last week has been full of lots of wonderful excitement and fun.  Exactly a week ago, my dear husband hit the big 3-0.  Happy birthday, honey!  You're STILL older than me, and did I mention that you're old?  :)

Preparing for Christmas

The family fun started on December 23rd.  Chase had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, and because of planned festivities with extended family, we decided to have just our Christmas on Christmas Eve morning.  But it all started the night before.  Lily didn't know it yet, but this was her last night sleeping in her crib:

After Chase finished reading her stories and putting her to bed, the fun started!  We got the box from its hiding place in the garage and started assembling the most adorable toddler bed ever.  It would have gone together smoothly had I not messed up reading the directions... On the final step, we realized that I had transposed a couple of the main bed frame pieces.  Oops!  So we had to disassemble practically the whole thing and flip things around.  (Thanks, Chase, for noticing, fixing it, and not making a big deal about it.)  Once the bed was assembled, we added the mattress, bedding pillows, and I got out the wrapping paper and a big bow:

Initially Chase was skeptical - why would we give our daughter a piece of furniture for Christmas when we needed to give it to her (logistically) anyway?  Since Baby Bit Francl is due in April, Lily needs to move out of the crib, and the bed seemed too utilitarian of a gift to him at first.  But ultimately, it was THE BEST part of Christmas!

"Christmas" Morning

I have a video of Christmas morning, but it's not uploading for some reason.  It starts with Chase and I going to get Lily out of her crib.  I carry her out to the living room where she says "Oh!" and points to the Christmas tree.  We talk about the big present, and when I ask her what she thinks it is, she tells me "It's a crib!"  I ask how she knows it's a crib as she pulls off the wrapping paper.  When she sees what's under the wrapping she says, "It's a bed!" and climbs aboard, where she stays for the remainder of the video.  She sat on it while she opened her stocking and all of her other presents.  So cute!

I love this little face:

She's SO proud of her new big girl bed!  After stockings we had breakfast, then opened the rest of the presents that were hanging out under the tree.  Then moving the crib out and the bed in started.  Lily was SUPER "helpful" as Chase took the crib apart.  She wanted to be part of getting that old thing out.  We vacuumed, moved the rocking chair, and put her big girl bed in a different place in the room than her crib.  Once we got it all arranged, she climbed in:

I seriously can't even express how thrilled she was.  And thus, her excitement quite matched my own (I have been giddy to give her this bed for months!), and even Chase admitted, in retrospect, that the big girl bed was the best gift this Christmas.  :)  We spent the rest of the day at home - Chase napped, and while he napped Lily tried to nap.  When it really came down to it, the big girl bed was just too exciting.  She was sitting in her new bed and Chase tossed one of her stuffed animals to her.  She tossed it on the floor just so she could get out of bed, pick up the stuffed animal, and get back in.  Freedom!

Excited as I was for her big girl bed, I still want her to nap.  And the truth is, she still needs a nap!  On Christmas Eve, I ended up laying on the floor by her bed for an hour and a half while neither of us napped.  It was cute to watch her play quietly in her bed, but I realized that I couldn't do that everyday - my aching hips and shoulders told me so!  But, I figured, if she didn't nap, she'd sleep well all night!

Christmas Eve Night

We finished Christmas Eve with Mom and my sister, eating clam chowder and playing games.  Lily went down at her normal bed time and never once got out of bed.  Chase and I went to bed at midnight, but at 3am I heard it.  A cry.  I went to Lily's room and she had lost her pacifier.  (Please don't judge me.  I know she's 2.  We'll get rid of it... eventually.  I'm just not ready for that yet!)  So I found it for her, tucked her in, turned on her music box, and went back to bed.  For the next hour, I listened to her turn her music box on over and over and over again.

At 4am, I went in and told her this was the last time she could turn on her music.  She bawled.  So I grabbed my pillow and a blanket and figured, "She'll be asleep in a few minutes."  WRONG.  I laid there on the floor next to her bed from 4am to 6am.  She didn't try to get out of bed, she didn't fuss, she didn't talk to me, she just didn't sleep.  *sigh*  Here are some thoughts that went through my head as I was awake in those wee hours:

• I'm not ready for the infant phase again.
• I'm so glad I'm not Mary 2,000 years ago, pushing out the Savior of the World on this night
• That was not a silent night
• Will this toddler bed be worth it?
• Maybe we should have left the crib up
• Lily's never going to be able to sleep with her Baby Bit Francl sharing the same room
• I hope she sleeps for at least a few hours more
• Lily's going to be a mess for the big Francl Family Christmas on Christmas Day
• I'm grateful that I get to sleep on my toddler's floor - she is a blessing and someday I will wish that I could live this night again.

None the less, by this point, I had hope that she might drift off if I wasn't there for her to watch.

I got up, told her that she needed to go to sleep, turned on her music box, and went back to my bed.  After 20 minutes, I thought we had won the battle - I didn't hear her, and I thought the music should have shut off again.  However, 20 minutes after that, she cried again.  I grabbed the egg crate mattress pad from the closet, my 3 pillows, my big comforter (Chase and I each have our own), and made a semi-comfy bed on the floor next to the big girl bed.  *sigh*  After being awake from 3-7am, I told Lily she needed to go to sleep, I laid down on the floor by her bed, turned my back to her, and waited.  It took about 7 minutes and she FINALLY fell asleep.  We all slept till 10am on Christmas Day!

Christmas Day

After a leisurely morning, we headed to Chase's parents' house for the day.  Lily (who was now used to big presents), found the biggest present and tried to claim it.  Turned out it was for Grandma Gayle, but Lily had fun sitting on it.  :)

With lots of activity all day, I was actually glad to be at the Francl grandparents' where Lily was used to sleeping in the pack n play.  So that's where she actually napped that day *whew!*  After nap and before supper, we opened presents.  Lily got a ball in one of her gifts, and here she is concentrating on learning to catch.  (Truth be told, she didn't actually catch the ball when I took the picture, but she's getting much better - her daddy works with her regularly on her ball handling skills.)

After Christmas

From her cousin Ella, Lily got a Hello Kitty tent and sleeping bag - these have quickly become favorites around our house.  On the 26th, Lily and I cleaned the house and put everything away while Chase was at work.  I took down Lily's kitchen set (which was in our extra-wide hallway) to make room for her Hello Kitty tent.  This was a good move.  We'll get the kitchen set out again sometime after Baby Bit joins us, I think.

The tent is a 3ft x 4 ft tent with a total height around 3 ft at the center.  It's super cute, but I can attest that pregnant mommy doesn't fit in it very well...  That didn't stop us from putting the bean bag in there and snuggling in for some reading time tonight.  Lily didn't seem to mind that my feet stuck out the end!

Fish n Chips

In other news, we now have fish.  I can't remember if I've blogged about them yet or not - I know I've put them on Facebook.  It wasn't really planned that we'd get fish.  Chase and I just went to my work Christmas party at which there was a white elephant gift exchange.  I was thrilled to have a number kind of in the middle-end.  29 out or 40.  Perfect.  It meant there'd be plenty of good stuff out there to steal, but I would have options on the gift table too.

I was leaning toward stealing these coffee mugs from one of my coworkers.  (There is a perfect shape of coffee mug - I've only ever known 1 cup with exactly that shape.  It's curved so that when you cup your hands around it, they both fit perfectly, but then the lip of the cup comes out so it's easy to drink... yeah. I met this cup when I worked at Hillsdale College.  We fought over the cup.  Whoever got into the office first in a given day got it.  I've been trying to find another one ever since.  *sigh*)  The mugs were close to the right shape, but they weren't quite there.  So instead, I stole the "Fish n Chips" bag - a can of Pringles, a small container of fish food, and 2 live Walmart goldfish!

Chase was less than supportive - he didn't think fish were a good idea.  (I'm not sure if he's come around to them or not, yet.)  But none of the last 11 people stole them from me - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?  I made out like a bandit!   :)

Lily was THRILLED with her fish.  Chase lovingly helped her name them "Chovi" and "Ann."  They get fed 2x daily, and they get talked about SO much more than that.  Lily loves them!  They've kind of become community supported fish.  Originally, I borrowed a big vase from my mom for them, but another coworker (not the one I got the fish from) offered to give us a small fish tank with a little castle in it.  Today while we were shopping, Lily picked out pink gravel for the tank, and we got water conditioner to make tap water safe for little "Ann" and "Chovi."

Tomorrow (once the water has had time to adjust to room temp), they move from the vase ghetto with filthy water to a 3 room mansion with sparklingly clear water:

And there is a little girl who can't quit talking about getting them moved:

Lily

She is simply the best.  Becoming a parent does things to your perspective.  No longer is it about having things I want, but rather I want what will make her experience of the world around her more enjoyable and exciting.  She's hit this phase in the last week or two where she is making longer sentences or statements (like, "Mommy, look! There's a Hello Kitty ornament on our Christmas tree!").  And she gets so excited to get the idea out that she stumbles around in the middle of the sentence because her mouth can't keep up with her thoughts.  It's absolutely adorable and wonderful!  And, I think, the vast majority of moms out there know exactly what I mean.

I've often wondered at Christmas time about Mary.  It's impossible to imagine what life was like for her.  I mean, how did they even cut the umbilical cord (as my sis-in-law pointed out)?  Not to mention how did she feel with a bunch of delusional, stinky, dirty shepherds with some crazy story about angels coming to see her baby.  Was she seriously up for that visit?  But I don't wonder if she was delighted in seeing her children take delight in the world around them.  She did.  And while Christmas is about Christ and the Gift of Life He brings to us, it's also a reminder to delight.  Delight in the little things, delight in the gifts, delight in our families, delight in life, and delight in One Who Gives Life.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

The Francls 

Parenting in the midst of it all

Do you ever feel like you fulfill your role as a parent in the middle of everything else?  Not that parenting takes a backseat or second place, but rather that it's kind of like the antivirus software on your computer - always running, trying to protect and prevent, despite what other programs you're running?

That's how I've felt the last few weeks.  We fuss about being "busy" all the time, and I don't mean to lament the wonderful privileges we have in our 1st world country.  But life has been full of lots of "things" lately:  Christmas parties, present wrapping, shopping, celebration, funerals, mourning, work, exhaustion, baby-growing, (did I mention exhaustion?), baking, dishes, scooping snow, etc.  They've been good.  They've been necessary.  Many have been fun, some have been so hard.  But amidst them all, I must be a mom.

It's weird.  I watched my mom through all my growing up years and even now, and she just does it all with ease.  Mom to 4, grandma to 1 (plus one on the way) so far, big house, full time work (now that the kids are grown), big yard, garden, sewing projects, baking, cooking, not overly exhausted, not too tired to sit and talk, not cranky, not overwhelmed. Sigh.  Will my children ever see me that way?

Or maybe they do, and I don't because I just have too many expectations of myself.  Could be, right?  Last week, someone on my Facebook feed posted this great article about toddler tantrums and looking at them in a different way.  Rather than seeing them as your child being purposefully obstinate, a power struggle, or a opportunity to impose discipline, see them as an opportunity to embrace relationship.  Tantrums can be thrown because of a need not met.

For example, Lily throwing herself on the couch rather than getting her coat on because she's tired of being taken somewhere different every day.  "Mom, can we stay home today?" she asked me last week when she woke up one morning.  I nearly burst into tears.  "No, baby.  I'm sorry.  Mommy has to go to work.  But don't you want to go play with Lucky and Boo?"  (Bless our babysitter's cats!)  She perked up and put on her coat.  She needs her mom.  She needs her home.  And I haven't built in enough home-time lately.  That's on me.

Lily is still required to put on her coat when I ask her to, but what if, rather than threatening to get out the spanking spoon (yes, we do spank for deliberate disobedience in our home), what if I took a moment to sit on the floor, pull my baby into my lap and say, "I don't really want to go to work either today, but maybe we could do something especially fun when we get home tonight - like have candy together."  C-A-N-D-Y are magic words right now with my 2 year old.  She will do just about anything for candy, and she thinks it's SUPER special to get to have some.  She remembers - she talks all the way home from the sitter's house about having candy.  It makes the night feel special.  And I took time to validate her need to do something special with Mommy, even if it wasn't spend the whole day together.

Please don't misunderstand.  I'm not suggesting that good parenting is bribing every tantrum away with candy (though wouldn't that be great if it worked?!?).  Rather, I'm reminding myself to take a moment to evaluate the tantrum - is it willful disobedience?  or is it an unmet need that I can hear and validate and help my toddler work through?  I want to teach her to see/hear other people's needs, and I think that starts by hearing hers.  Here's the blog post that got me started on thinking that way:  An alternative view of tantrums and emotional upsets

Also, today, I read this article posted by another friend on FB:  Killing Off Supermom.  What a great reminder.  We ALL stuff dirty dishes in dishwashers and/or ovens when company comes.  Who really makes the bed every morning?  Seriously.  And don't tell me you don't have a pile of mail "to be dealt with" somewhere in your house.  We all have it (and we all hate it).  *As an aside, that's the great thing about email!  You can have TONS of unopened email, and it doesn't clutter counters or tables AT ALL!!!!*

It's good to keep a tidy house, to teach children to pick up, to teach our families that a way we show honor and respect to those who come into our home is to provide a safe, tidy place for everyone to enjoy each other.  BUT the critical thing is not to do those things at the expense of relationship with our family and friends.

Supermom I am not.  Parenting guru I am not.  Work-in-progress-mama-with-much-to-learn-and-needing-grace-from-my-family-and-friends-as-I-muddle-through...  Yep.  That's me.  And in the midst of it all, I'll parent to the best of my ability and trust that my children will forgive me for all the mistakes I make.  Because afterall, someday, they won't be supermom either.

Thanksgiving, the Christmas Tree, and Celebrating

I hesitate to write, have put off writing, because the things I want to write are light, fluffy, the enjoyable things of life that I want to remember from these days.  They are the little things in which I find joy each day and which just might bring a smile to your face.  But I hesitate because I know so many are hurting so deeply.  I hesitate because I, too, am still hurting deeply.  And painful things continue to happen.  But mixed in with them are the joyful things - the new baby born early but healthy last night, the announcement of new life expected this summer, the anticipation and delight of the season that is Christmas.

I just reread a number of my recent posts.  They range from elation over the discovery that I'm carrying our son to the depths of despair over the loss of precious life.  What a roller coaster we've ridden lately.  Today is going to be lighthearted, mostly.

But before I dive into some light, enjoyable memories from recent days, I want to say something directly to those who I know and love who may read this and are hurting, aching, walking through the valley of the shadow right now:  I ache with you.  Every. Day.  I think of you.  I pray for you.  I pray for your family.  I pray you'll have the strength just to take the next breath, to do the next thing.  Because I know for you it is moment by moment right now.  And I will continue to do so over the coming days and weeks and months.  It's not much, but it's all I can do.  If there is more I can do to support you, simply say the word and I will be there.  However, I also must live the life that was dealt to me.  These light musings that I am about to write are in no way meant to hurt, to hinder, to gloat, or in any way to assume that I am "more blessed" than you.  No.  Indeed, I am not.  We are both creations dearly loved by the same God, and to honor Him we must both live today, whatever that looks like in either of our lives. 

Lily-isms

Since Halloween, Lily has become more and more aware of the availability of candy in her world.  Grandma's house has always held treasures such as Hello Kitty fruit snacks and Smartees, but now she's figured out that we have candy in our house too - I've just been hiding it.  Monday during breakfast, Lily saw the package of Hello Kitty fruit snacks Grandma had left for her and began immediately to negotiate to get them.  "Can I have the Hello Kitty fruit snacks?" she asked.  "No.  It's breakfast time.  We can't have fruit snacks for breakfast," I replied.  "Please, please, please, pleeeeeease?" she begged.  (Seriously.  Where does she learn this stuff?!?)  "No," I said.  "You can have them for a snack after your nap."  Keep in mind that this is breakfast.  At 8:30am.  She gets up from her nap at about 3:30pm.  I figured she'd forget.  Later that day I heard her in her crib waking up from her nap.  I went in to get her, and I was greeted with, "Hello Kitty fruit snacks?"  She got what she wanted.

Today in the grocery store she was walking along beside the coat and we had to go down the candy aisle to get chocolate stars for making cookies.  "I need a sucker, Mom," she said as she put her little hand on a bag of Tootsie Pops.  "No, we can't get those.  I'm sorry."  "Please, please, please, pleeeeease?!?" she begs as a grocery store employee walks by trying to hide his snickering.  *sigh*  She didn't get the sucker.

Lately, Lily has become very VERY girly.  She brings me the nail polish and asks to have her nails painted at least twice a week.  At 2 years old, she picks the color she wants (always pink), sits still while I paint her nails, and then helps me blow on them until they're dry.  Additionally, she has discovered the delight of a floofy skirt that spins well.  I'd been waiting to break out her Christmas dress until after Thanksgiving, but she spotted it in her closet the Sunday before Thanksgiving.  The sequins, fur trimmed sleeves, and floofy skirt were all too much.  She begged to wear it.  And I thought, why not?  Here she is trying out a spin in it: 

She was THRILLED to be wearing it!

And she struck a pose or two just to show it off.  Lily is very shy in new situations, but in our home or in places she's used to she can be a real ham. :)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was particularly hard for me to celebrate in my spirit this year.  Just so much pain going on.  And, yes, I know "in all things give thanks."  I know.  But seriously, sometimes when I hear that, I just want to tell people to take it and shove it.  Christ was thankful, but he wept bitterly too.  It's ok to weep and be sad and it doesn't mean that you're not thankful.

Ok, now that I've got that out of the way, we did have a very nice Thanksgiving with family.  I really didn't take many pictures of it at all, so I'll just have to write a bit about it so I remember all that happened.  We started out at my mom's house on Thanksgiving Day for lunch.  Despite not having a working oven (hers broke on Monday or Tuesday of that week and it still isn't fixed...) she served us all the traditional dishes - she only had me bake the pie.  We had turkey (done in the roaster), stuffing (Stove Top - it's the only good kind anyway), green bean casserole (done in the crockpot and transferred to dish warmed in the roaster after the turkey came out and the french fried onion topping was finished with the creme brule blow torch), sweet potato casserole (sweet potatoes boiled and then cut into the casserole dish, topped with sweet sauce and marshmallows and then torched with the creme brule blow torch), mashed potatoes (kept warm in the 2nd crock pot), gravy, salad, fresh bread (made in the bread machine) pumpkin pie (which I baked the morning of), strawberry rhubarb pie (which my sister-in-law baked and brought), and chocolate pie.  All this for the 7 of us and with no oven.  Martha Stewart has nothing on my mom!!!  It was a magnificent feast!

We went from Mom's house to Chase's parents' house after Lily woke up from her nap.  She couldn't wait for cousins Tyus, Ella and Zion to get to grandma's house to play with her!  When everyone arrived, we sat down to a feast of a blessedly different sort: pork loin, baked beans, jello salads, rolls, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin and apple pies.  Mmmm.  Delish!  A couple hours of playing, and the cousins headed for home.  Lily was spending the night with her grandparents, so Chase and I took our time getting our things together.

Chase and his dad have a thing for ping-pong.  There's a table in Chase's parents' basement, and when the two of them play, it's intense.  Like play-so-hard-that-they-get-so-sweaty-that-they-need-showers-or-a-change-of-clothes intense.  So at about 8 that night, the two of them played 4 games.  By the time they were done it was 8:35 or so.  Lily, Gayle and I had watched the competition, and we all sat a while to talk in the basement afterward.

Lily kept heading for the stairs. I told her not to go up them - if she went up them, I'd put her to bed.  A couple of minutes later, she told me she wanted to go upstairs.  I asked if she wanted to go to bed, and she nodded, so I shrugged my shoulders and carried her upstairs to where Gayle had the pack-n-play set up.  Lily was already in her jammies, but her things were spread all over the room.  As I gathered her shoes, clothes, and diapers to contain them in her bag, I looked up.  Lily had thrown her pillow in the pack-n-play, she had thrown her blanket in, she was throwing her stuffed animal in, and then she got her pacifier and threw it in and looked up at me.  I just had to laugh!  Here I was not worried at all about her bed time (it was 30 mins later than she usually goes to bed), and she's practically putting herself to bed at age 2!  How did I get a kid like this???  :)  Suffice it to say, she went right to sleep when I finally listened to her and put her in bed...

The reason Lily stayed at her grandparents' house was because Chase and I had tickets to the game on Friday.  Or... at least we thought we did.  A coworker had given them to Chase, and he'd left them at his office.  So Thursday night we drove from Chase's parents' house to his office where he ended up not finding the tickets.  We shrugged our shoulders and figured they were at home, so we headed the 30 miles home.  We searched the house, Chase's car, my car, EVERYWHERE and could NOT find the tickets when we got home.  So Chase called a coworker who was with family near the office that night, and the coworker promised to go look for them.  Fortunately, they were found in the very last file searched in the office.  The coworker lives near us, and brought them by our house early on Friday morning, the morning of the game.

As we rushed out the door to get on the road, I saw the envelope labeled "Football tickets" laying on the kitchen table and grabbed it.  As I got into the car, Chase saw it in my hand and said, "We don't need to bring that.  I put the tickets in my wallet."  "Oh," I said.  "It feels like there's something in here."  I reached in and pulled out one ticket.  Chase had inadvertently only grabbed one ticket when he put "them" in his wallet!  It was a miracle we made it to the game with tickets at all, but we did and had a great time despite the loss...

We ended the Thanksgiving celebrations on Saturday with my dad's side's big family get together.  Each year we play bingo for gifts rather than getting stockings or other gifts.  Everyone brings a few $1-$5 items for the bingo table, and Grandma gets stuff all year long.  This year, I swear, the bingo gift "table" was bigger than ever!  It took 4 8-foot tables to hold and display all of the shampoo, bags, candy, hats, gloves, kitchen items, kids toys, etc that made up the loot.  There were only about 30 of the family members there, so we all came home with a huge haul!

In addition to celebrating Thanksgiving, we also celebrated Grandma and Grandpa's 60th wedding anniversary, which was this fall.  Grandpa wore his suit that he wore 60 years ago, and Grandma still fit in her wedding dress (can you believe it!?!).  The family sat around and they told stories of their dating, engagement, and early years of marriage.  Grandpa was funny - he said he never really went steady with a girl, because he'd just watch for someone better to come along.  When he found Grandma, he guessed he couldn't do any better!  The stories of their dating mostly revolved around the times they were either dancing or "parking."  We were all absolutely cracking up!  Someone let the air out of all 4 of their tires once when they were in GI and they had to figure out how to get home.  And their early married years were stories of kids in the pond, moving from one farm to another (they've lived on 3 different farms), and the like.  It was really special to hear that stuff straight from them.

Setting up the Christmas Tree

With Thanksgiving safely behind us, it was time to dive into my very favorite holiday of the year.  Say what you will about commercialization, shopping, and rushing, but Christmas to me is about celebrating the Christ child.  Even in the midst of great hurt, pain, suffering, and loss, I find it easy, even more sweet, to celebrate Jesus' birth.  Because without His coming, eternal life would forever elude us.  Many say that Easter is the greater holiday, and it is absolutely necessary and reason to celebrate, but I've always found Christmas to be the holiday I hold dearest.  Without Christmas there could be no Easter.  You're entitled to your own opinion, and I respect that.  But Christmas is my favorite.

So on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we put up our Christmas tree:

It probably doesn't look like anything special to you, and that's ok.  It's my family's tree, and it's special and beautiful because it's the way we celebrate together.  I got the tree at the Thrift Store in town for $15 last year.  It was pre-lit, but the lights didn't work, and I spent a day trying to fix them before caving and just cutting all the lights out of the tree.  That, in itself, was a 2-man, 4-hour, up-till-2am process, but it left us with this perfectly shaped, perfectly full tree that I love.  Hundreds of lights go on first, then two colors of garland, a lighted star on top, and tons of ornaments that tell the story of our lives.

I don't know how you decorate your tree, but ours is mostly ornaments bought at a store that represent something from our lives.  My grandmother gave me an ornament each year, starting the year I was born, and ending sometime when I was in college.  My mother gave us ornaments at different times, and I gave Chase some throughout our early dating and married years.  I've gotten Lily some ornaments, of course, and when we travel, Chase and I buy ornaments to remember all the places we've gone.

So when we decorate our tree, we take a walk down memory lane.  I got the tree up, lights on, garland strung, and star situated while Lily napped.  Then when she got up, we began hanging ornaments.  This was the first ornament out of the box:

Lily gasped when she first saw the tree after her nap, "Ah!  A Christmas tree!"  And then when she picked up this Hello Kitty ornament, it was nearly too much for her.  She couldn't stop talking about how much she liked this silly little tin ornament.  I would hand Chase and ornament to put on the tree, and he'd ask Lily, "Where should I put this one?"  She'd reply, "Next to Hello Kitty!"  Now, days later, she likes to point to the ornament and say, "This one is my fwavorwite!"

Speaking of handing Chase ornaments to put on the tree...  Most of our ornaments are individually boxed, like Hallmark ornaments, and I keep the boxes for each one so that from year to year they're safely stored away in their original packaging.  It takes a lot of careful effort to get them all out, so this year, I unwrapped them and Chase hung them.  We all have our own theories about decorating trees.  I put the ones I love, the ones that mean a lot to me, the cute ones, in front.  The heavy ones have to go on sturdy branches, the breakable ones toward the top, etc...

Chase has a different decorating scheme.  He groups things.  He put all the angel ornaments together in one spot on the tree for the "angel choir."  He put the Looney Tunes characters together on another part of the tree, he saved "prime real estate" at the front of the tree until the very end just in case there was better ornaments coming.  Our neighbors through our window have a FANTASTIC view of a lot of ornaments I would have put front and center, but he was decorating this year...  Also, he put all the dog ornaments in the "dog pound" on the far side of the tree from Hello Kitty.  Wouldn't want her to be scared.  But don't worry, the dogs aren't being punished too harshly.  They have the perfect view of cable TV from their position in the pound.  Of course that also means that the people on the TV shows we watch have a better view of many of our ornaments than we do, but who am I to judge...  (Behold, the dog pound:)  

(And the angel choir:)

The prime real estate that Chase saved?  Well, this was one of the ornaments that got it:

How, exactly, is an RV festive?  It's not.  But it's Chase's favorite ornament, so it gets front and center.

Christmas is special.  It's not special because of food or decorations or programs or songs or presents.  But those are all ways we celebrate special things.  It is the birth of the Christ Child that makes Christmas special, and in our culture we use food, decor, programs, songs, and presents to celebrate.  So I will celebrate.  I will celebrate because my God sent His Perfect Son to step down from the glory of Heaven.  The streets there are made of gold there - do you get that?  The most precious metal we have here on Earth is used as cement there.  Imagine what the trees, mansions, the life there must be like!  Christ gave that up.  To be born in a stable.  To enter the world just like each of us does, through the pained labor of his mother.  To walk on dirt.  To live in comparative utter poverty and filth.  For you.  For me.  Such sacrifice.  Such selflessness.  Such a Savior.  Such a reason to celebrate.

Merry Christmas.

Humor in the midst

We've had a rough go of it around here, in our little community.  In the last week alone, we've lost to cancer a fantastic guy who was a great husband and a father of two young children, and we've lost a 2 year old little pixie of a girl.  One death "expected" and so agonizing, the other utterly shocking.  These are the two I know personally, the two for whom I wept bitterly.  I know of at least 7 other losses tangentially through various people and a number of others going through great suffering of other kinds too.

"When it rains it pours," so the saying goes.  Well, I'm ready for a drought.  P.L.E.A.S.E.

My heart has been so heavy in my chest that while I've accomplished those necessary things, I've struggled to be happy.  I've felt guilty that I don't have to live those nightmares.  I've been heavily burdened as I know so many in our community have been as well.  We mourn with those who mourn, and that is good.

But tonight I was finally able to laugh.  Not just a smile, not just a courtesy laugh.  A real, deep, from-the-depths-of-my-soul and with-my-whole-being laugh.  And as I sat alone in my living room watching my 21-week pregnant belly jiggle with laughter, I realized how heavy a load I'd been carrying.  I could feel the weight lift from my shoulders and relish the freedom of humor.

I never know who, exactly, reads these things I write, but I do know that a number of you are as heavily burdened lately as I am, so this is for you...

One of my favorite blogs to read, every now and then when I get a chance, is Crappy Pictures.  It's a mom who draws crappy pictures and tells funny stories of her family, mostly her two boys, (roughly) ages 3 and 5.  I'll warn you, it's not the "sweet" kind of mom blog, but the kind that makes you giggle out loud as you read, sometimes shocked at the bluntness, but grateful for the humorous point of view.

Tonight, what broke the burden, made me laugh hysterically such that my husband called from the other room to see what the fuss was about, was a post from the Crappy Pictures blog.

Serious things lie ahead.  Tomorrow we will remember in a memorial service a little life ended almost before it started.  But even in the midst of hurt and pain and sorrow and burden, laughter is such a good thing.  It heals.

I hope you enjoy... Jedi Names*

Also, a quick little Lily-ism.  She woke up this morning saying, "I wag my tail."  That was the first thing she told her dad when he went to get her out of her crib and the first thing she told me when he brought her to me in our bedroom.  I SO wonder what she dreamed...

*(For those not "internet savvy," click on the phrase "Jedi Names" above - it's a link that will take you to the funny blog that made me laugh.  Also, isn't it great that no one knows who reads these instructions before understanding what to do?  You don't have to tell anyone you're "internet clueless" - You can pretend you're internet savvy, like, "oh yeah, I totally knew what that link was without reading those extra instructions."  For all those who needed these instructions, I'll just say, you're welcome that I included them.  Now go read the blog and laugh!)

Always before my Father in Heaven

I talked with my ever-patient husband.  I stayed up very late.  I was exhausted.  I read in bed to make my eyelids heavy.  I did all the things I could do to prepare my body to drop into an exhausted slumber.  And yet I tossed and turned.  

Yesterday Lily lost a friend.  The little pixie on the left in the picture below is no longer with us.  This summer, she and Lily got into their first car accident together just moments after this picture was taken.  They ran their Jeep into the neighbors' tree.  Fortunately parents were there to immediately rectify the situation and Barbie Jeeps don't go that fast.    

Yesterday, the situation (not a car accident, a health situation) wasn't so easy to rectify.

How could I sleep with the lack of surety that the little one on the right, my little one, would wake up?  And lack of surety that I would wake up?  We have no guarantees here from one breath to the next.  None.  How could I sleep when such a horrible thing has happened?  When friends are aching and hurting beyond words?  

So I prayed.  What else does one do?  And after a time, the Lord brought this verse to mind:

See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in Heaven. (Matthew 18:10)

In the context of this passage, Christ is telling his disciples to be like little children, to "suffer the little children to come unto me."  He's explaining how much we can learn from our little tykes and exactly how valuable they are.  They are, in fact, so valuable that their angels are always before the face of God.  That was and is an indescribable comfort to me.  

He knew.  He knows.  His plan.  The question is can I rest in that?  Is He big enough to know better than me?  Can I remove myself from the throne of my life, that imaginary seat where I pretend I'm in control, where I pretend know best, where I pretend get to choose?  Can I step down, bend my knee, bow before Him, and allow Him His rightful seat, the seat He, in reality, holds whether I choose to acknowledge it or not?  

I loved her.  I loved all that she would have become.  I love her family.  He loves her and them more.  

I can't stay on bended knee before that throne, not today.  I will rise slowly and crawl into the lap of my God.  I will curl up and rest in His loving arms.  Rest in His control over life.  Find comfort in the fact that He loved her in indescribable ways.  That He loves me and my family too beyond what we could ever understand.  And I will beg for Him to pour His comfort and grace out on her family.  Praise Him that His lap is big enough for us all.

And I will thank Him that I and my family had the privilege of knowing her.  What a gift.  What an indescribable gift.

I ache.

Today I ache.  A few really horrible things have happened in the last 5 days.  None of them to my immediate family, and all those I hold dearest in life are safe, healthy, happy.  But that next circle out - that circle of people I enjoy, people I love, people I look forward to seeing - more than acquaintances, less than family - these are some people for whom I ache.

I don't understand.  I never will.  I hate that things happen.  I hate that life sucks sometimes.  I hate that life ends.  I hate that we have no control over life - when it begins or when it ends - much as we pretend we control or affect such things.  Holiday shopping, pins about decluttering, happy posts about birthdays and babies - it's good to find happiness in these.  It's good to celebrate good times.

But we Christians are also called to "mourn with those who mourn."  Today, I mourn.

Lily sees the tears drip from my eyes and says, "Mommy, are you crying?"

Yes, my little angel.  I am crying.  And sometimes that is the only proper response.  I don't try to hide my tears, but rather to show her that sometimes life hurts, that sometimes it's ok to be sad, sometimes it's all we can do.

Grief.  I hate it.  It's necessary, a part of life.  Some try to medicate it away with sleeping pills, natural remedies, drugs, or alcohol, work, business, or total absorption in any other activity.  I understand why - really, I do.  I have been cut to the core.  I have lost that which was most dear when I didn't really even understand that I ought to value it.  "The valley of the shadow..."  I have walked there.

And now, when others face that same valley, when they are cut to beyond what any human being can be expected to bear up under, I ache.  I ache for them because in some tangential way, I too have walked there.  I ache for them because I know, at least in part, what today and the days ahead hold.  I ache for them because I feel guilty that I do not have to walk through that wretched place again.  Why them and not me?  It could so easily have been me.  And I ache for me because in their loss, I too have lost.

Today, I ache for them, but I ache for my husband who has lost a friend.  I ache for my daughter who has lost a friend.  I ache for me who has lost a friend.

In some situations there simply aren't words.  These are those situations.  I don't know what to say.  I can't make it better.  I can't change anything.  I can simply walk beside as much as I'm able, listen when given the opportunity, mourn with those who mourn.

Today I ache.  

It's a BOY!!!!

At 20 weeks and 1 day, I was ready.  Ten weeks ago, I was not.  But today, I was ready to learn exactly who I was carrying in my tummy.  Turns out it's my son.  It sounds funny to write, "my son."  Turns out I have a son.  :)  Isn't that great!?!

Do you want to see him?  He's so cute handsome!  Wanna see?...

The Profile

The adorable handsome face of Baby Bit Francl.

I'm a pretty lucky mamma - supportive, wonderful, funny, handsome husband (who isn't as perfect or humble as he'll tell you he is); mostly perfect toddler girl (who is SO ready to be a big sister!); and Baby Bit Boy Francl (who I can tell you is more than a "bit boy," but he's not going to flaunt it here on the blog.  Suffice it to say that both Chase and I had figured out he was a boy before the doctor said a word).

Wondering what a belly shot would look like?  Well, here's 20 weeks:

Pregnancy is good to me.  I feel pretty good, though I'm slightly more tired than usual and MUCH more forgetful than usual.  I am starting to get kicked and punched on a regular basis, so I expect the ability to remember things will COMPLETELY leave me any day now.  (It's so hard to keep a coherent thought going when one is being constantly poked and punched and prodded from the inside...)

Speaking of not being able to keep a thought going, I feel like this is a pretty disjointed post, so why stop now?  Other than Baby Bit, I wanted to blog about what Lily's been learning (or trying to figure out) in the last couple of days.

The lesson for the week for Lily has been the word, "because."  It's not what I decided to try to teach her, but rather the part of language that she's trying to use but can't quite use correctly just yet.  So she's working on it.  She doesn't really get the application of "because" right very often, but she tries.

For example, at supper tonight we had French dip sandwiches, which meant she had roast beef with bread on the side as well as some oranges and peas.  After eating some oranges and peas, she decided she wanted something else (*note* Yogurt was not on the menu - I get to choose what, when and where she eats, she gets to choose if and how much.):

Lily:  Mommy, I want some yogurt.
Me:  No, you may not have yogurt.  Would you like some beans?
Lily:  (with brow furrowed into her frustrated little face) Mommy!  Because I need a Popsicle!
Me:  (Laughing hysterically, because she tries so hard to use "because" in a well-framed argument.)
Lily:  Mommy, stop laughing!!!

I had to leave the room to get my giggles under control.  Later tonight she threw a remote control off the bed.  I told her that she was not to throw remotes and that if she did it again, then she would be in trouble.  She responded (with furrowed, frustrated face), "Because!  Mommy, because!"

I wish there was a way to put inflection into the blog.  She is SO cute when she gets frustrated.  :)

Tonight I'm just enjoying the knowledge that I will someday soon hold my son, and by then Lily will have the word "because" figured out.  And I will enjoy every second of her figuring it out!

Enjoying each day, especially with LIly

I love life right now.  I try always to love life, because you only get one shot at it, so it's not worth not enjoying where you are in whatever ways possible.  But I feel like we're at a particularly good place right now - good house that feels like a home, family and friends all around, "baby" sleeping 12 hours a night and in a predictable routine, and the watching (beside my husband and best friend) our daughter discover the world in new ways every day.  Oh yeah, and Baby Bit Francl due in 5 months or so.  Aaaaaand we'll know whether this one is a boy or a girl on November 19.  THAT'S 6 DAYS PEOPLE!!!!!!!  Life is good.  :)

I want to remember some of the sweet moments, so here are a few from this week.

Lily and I bundled up on Monday when it was blustery and super cold for this time of year (like 30) and went outside for about an hour.  Because it was not only cold but was also windy, I dressed her in her snow suit (there was no snow yet).  This is how she responded:

"I'm an astronaut!"

We don't talk about astronauts, I've never pointed out what an astronaut suit looks like, she has 1 book about astronauts that Chase and I read to her sometimes.  I love that she figures stuff like that out!  Cutest little pink astronaut I've ever seen in my life, if I do say so myself!

Who knew astronauts could rake?  Also, I ended up putting the hat away for next year - it's too big and kept slipping over her eyes so she couldn't see.

The leaves were intense, but at least we waited till the tree was naked to rake.  We got 2/3 of the backyard raked into 2 massive piles before we went in for the day on Monday.  This afternoon we went back out and moved the 2 big piles to the back alley, raked up the last 1/3 of the backyard, and started on the front yard.  It was warmer, so we weren't as bundled, but I have to say I love having Lily's "help."  She throws Frazier's Frisbee, rides her bike, tromps through the leaf piles, and generally runs around and has a great time.  Such fun to see!  At one point, she even tried to count the leaves in the pile.  It went like this, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, fifteen... all done!"

Wednesday mornings, Lily usually gets a bath.  This morning while she played in the tub, I cleaned the bathroom.  As I was scrubbing the sink, I heard her say,

"The moon is the ugliest star."

I said, "What?" and she said, "The moon is the ugliest star."  She has some bath time books, one of which is an Elmo book where he talks about the moon.  I think that's what begat the comment, but that is not a part of the book.

My little girl is like her parents in that she likes language- words, books, conversation.  I love that about her.  I hope Francl #2 loves words.  Baby Bit will be born into a family that will work to instill that in him or her.

And now that I've spent most of a post bragging on/enjoying remembering Lily's life, I should spend a little time on Baby Bit.  We're 19 weeks and 2 days along in this pregnancy.  As aforementioned, in just 6 days we'll be having our 20 week ultrasound at which we'll find out (yes, we're the type that find out) if we're looking forward to welcoming a brother or a sister.  Lily is quite confident she will be getting a sister.  If you ask her if this baby is a boy or girl, she will tell you, "A girl."  Chase isn't sure the baby is a boy, but he "is feeling confident it's NOT a girl."  So he thinks this is a boy.  I don't know and frankly, (despite predictions) none of us care - baby will be wonderful either way!

What I do know is that baby is growing and moving and kicking.  When I sit still or lay still, Baby Bit makes his or her presence known with sweet little bumps and gentle nudges.  I'm no fool - soon enough those "gentle nudges" will be violent punches and kicks that will interrupt perfectly good thoughts, cause belly gyrations, and keep me from being able to put together coherent sentences.  It all comes with the motherhood territory.

For now, I'll just enjoy each day as it comes, with whatever it may hold...

Whew! Hello November :)

I was shocked, SHOCKED, my friend, to see that the last time I posted was on October 8!  Where did the month of October go???  Gone.  Simply put, it's gone.  And I'm actually not that sad to see it passed.  November means Thanksgiving, which means I get to put up my Christmas stuff the day after that (it's Chase's rule, or I'd already have the halls decked and the tree trimmed, with carols rocking from the speakers...)  But October wasn't without it's lovely moments.  Here are a few:

What does 15 weeks look like (this was a few weeks ago)?  Like this:

I feel like my arm looks HUGE in comparison to my body.  What's with that?!?  Lily wanted to show how big her tummy was too.  Plus, who can resist that little cutie in her princess jams?  :)  Below, Lily is sporting some adorable gloves sent to us by Patti.  (Thank you, Patti!)  Unfortunately, Lily has adorably chubby fingers, and these gloves were made for the more slender type.  None the less, we got them on and she had a few moments of renaissance-little-girl-ness.

I think everyone has some version of this picture somewhere in their childhood photos.  It's just good that Mr. Potato Head is so good at sharing his glasses:

I took this shot at work last week.  For those of you who have never been here, this is where I work.  Isn't it beautiful!!!

Ok, truth be told, my office isn't in that building, although that is (basically) the view from my office window.  But I do visit that building every day that I work, and I love it!

Speaking of things I love, Piglet comes to mind:

We got started a little late on Halloween, so we only trick or treated a few places.  None the less, she was the most adorable Piglet I have ever seen, and her daddy did a fantastic job getting her dressed and ready to charm unsuspecting adults out of their delicious candy.

Welcome to November, everyone.  It's gonna be a great month!

Where do you hide your Christmas presents?

Do you shop for Christmas presents before December?  I do.  I shop early for three reasons:

1. By shopping throughout the year, I spread out the expense of Christmas, at least somewhat.
2. I buy things on sale, second-hand, or on clearance, and save a TON.
3. I buy what I think people will really enjoy when I see it rather than being stuck with a list of 20 people to buy for all in the span of 2 weeks and not enough creativity to go around.

These are all positive reasons to shop ahead of time.  There are some drawbacks, however.  For example, if you purchase things for your immediate family members before December (when it's appropriate to just wrap them and stick them under the tree), then you have to find places to hide the gifts.  This is what has been particularly problematic for me this year...

This summer I hit the jackpot!  I found something for Lily that I assumed she would love and something for Chase that I knew he'd love.  I paid only about 20% of what it would have cost me to purchase these things new, and I just stumbled across them when I was garage saling - no creativity required!  Just eyes to see what my family would love to have!  :)

Both being somewhat large items (a doll-sized stroller and car seat for Lily - Graco brand that look JUST LIKE what I will use when baby #2 comes along - the car seat even sits inside the stroller just like my car seat does! And a poker tabletop for Chase - he loves poker) I snuck them into the garage and stashed them between the luggage and the off-season dress clothes in the closet in the garage.  I am the only person who ever gets anything out of that closet, so I figured I was home free!

But then last Wednesday night happened.  Chase needed a bag that we couldn't find in the usual places, and because I was too tired to help, he dug through the luggage in the garage closet by himself... aaaaaaaand found his poker table.  Awesome.  So much for that surprise.

Oh well, no tears shed - I rarely surprise him anyway.  At least the car seat and stroller were safe from Lily.  My plan was actually to give them to her when baby #2 comes along in April.  It will look just like what I use for the new baby, I thought.  She'll have her own little set for her baby when we go on walks in the spring and early summer, I thought.  Good thoughts!  Until...

This evening, Chase went out to mow and Lily and I worked on putting flower pots away and other fall yard odds and ends.  We ended up in the garage where she saw this Pooh bear thing sitting on the ground.  One look and she had figured out that (despite it was folded up) it was a stroller.  "Open this stroller," she said.  So I complied.

And for the next 45 minutes she pushed that stroller All. Over. The house.  It got to be bed time, so she strolled it into her room, over to her crib, and asked for her plug (i.e. pacifier).  I got a plug for her out of her crib.  She popped it in her mouth and turned the stroller heading out of the room.  I told her that if she was going to keep pushing the stroller, she needed to give me her plug.  (This was a sure fire way of getting her to give up the stroller.  She loves her plug.)

Without skipping a beat, she turned around, hurled the plug across the room at me, and strolled out of the door.  Fail.  Eventually we did get her to bed, and we didn't even have to put the stroller in the crib!  Eventual success!

I'm sitting here in the living room looking at her bears tucked snugly in the little car seat sitting next to the stroller.  I think to myself, I should hide it.  We're busy tomorrow morning.  Maybe she'll forget.  To use one of Lily's sayings, "Probly not."  I know her.  She wouldn't.

So much for that great idea.  At least the stroller is a hit.  I guess I know what my family will like... if only I could find a great (secret) place to hide things.  I once "hid" one of Chase's Christmas presents on my dresser for weeks before I got it wrapped.  He never noticed it.  Maybe if I'd put the poker table in his side of the closet I would have had better luck.  But Lily is way to observant.  Time to come up with a better spot for her stuff...

Differences the 2nd time around...

I've been thinking lately about the differences between this 2nd pregnancy and my 1st.  The books say that just as each child is different, so each pregnancy is different.  Thus far, I'd have to agree, and they're different in more ways than I'd imagined.

I did a pretty good job the 1st time around documenting when I felt ill, when I felt well, when I started to gain weight, when I had to change what I was wearing, etc.  So those comparisons are easy.  I've definitely felt better and had more energy with this pregnancy than I did with Lily.  In part, I think that's because I know better how to take care of myself (i.e. eat every 2 hours during the first trimester, even when I didn't feel like it), and take naps in the afternoons when I can.  

But I also think that differences in my life style have made this go around a bit easier.  Last time when I found out I was pregnant, we started planning a cross-country move, deciding when we'd quit our jobs, saving for the move, house hunting, etc, etc, etc.  This time, I have known since the day I found out I was pregnant what the room looks like that I'll put this baby in.  I have not had to worry about how we'd pay the bills (any more than I do any other time), and I have not had to plan, pack and execute a huge move.  I think stability in life style and daily routine has been a benefit this time around.

My "cravings" (though I don't really crave things, I just prefer to eat some things over others) this time around have been very different.  I ate sweets and ice cream and mostly my "normal fare" with Lily.  This time, I can't handle too much sugar at all - it makes me feel crummy.  I'd much rather have salty or protein based foods over sugary sweets - that's a HUGE change for me.  (I know, I know, now you think I'm having a boy... Time will tell.  We should know by Christmas.)

But probably the biggest difference I notice with this pregnancy is how little I think about it on a daily basis versus when I was pregnant with Lily.  I don't mean that I don't think about or pray for or dream about what this child will be like (in fact, I dreamed last night that I had a very hairy boy who we couldn't name the name we've been talking about because one of it's meanings is "bald."  Thanks, Pastor, for focusing on Jacob and Esau in Sunday School yesterday...)

When I was pregnant the last time around, we changed everything about how we functioned, where we lived, where we worked, who we were in order to accommodate the little life that was joining us.  And we haven't looked back for a second!  But this time around, we don't have to make those drastic changes.  I already feel connected with this baby in a way I didn't with Lily.  I cannot wait for the moment when labor and delivery is over and I get to hold him/her!  I KNOW that any pain, sacrifice, effort, even labor and delivery will be worth every second!  And I KNOW that I do not get him/her forever, but for whatever time I do, I will cherish it all.  

I think about this baby coming and I think about the things I need to prepare for Lily - moving her to a toddler bed, getting her baby doll things just like what I'll use for the new baby (stroller, high chair, pacifier), making sure she knows she's loved and cherished as we bring home #2.  Maybe it's not fair that I focus so much on preparing her, but I hope with good preparation, the baby will get the benefit of the love of the 3 of us (Chase, Lily and I) without jealousy from Lily.

Maybe it's not fair, but it's the way it is, and baby-focused preparations will begin once we know if this is a boy or a girl - do I need to get boy things?  Do I need to go through what I already have and figure out what I need to get new?  And what do I need to get/do to make life function smoothly with 2?  Those things will come.  

But for now, I'll enjoy the differences this time around - that I have Lily to focus on already, that she's healthy, that she's learning and growing, that she's happy and energetic, and that she'll be the best big sister ever.  To that end, here is a little of what we've been doing lately...

I let Lily watch Curious George, Cat in the Hat, or Elmo 

while I shower in the morning - whatever's on at the time.  Frazier appreciates the snuggles.

Chase and I got Lily little markers for her birthday, and they've been a HUGE hit!

She sits and colors with them for like 20 minutes at a shot.

I set up my little artist in the kitchen at her own little table in her own little chair yesterday.

I got to do dishes in peace for about 25 minutes!

Well... almost in peace.  Every 7 seconds Lily said, "Mommy, look!  Look at my picture!" 

So I'd look and say, "It looks so nice, honey!" and she'd say (without coloring another stroke)

"Mommy, look at my picture!"  Still, the dishes got done without a single tear.

This morning, we made the dough for molasses cookies.  

Lily LOVES to help make cookies and sample them at every stage. 

She tasted the flour.  She tasted the sugar.  I told her not to lick the spatula with molasses and shortening on it.  I turned my back.  I turned around.  She (with spatula in hand and molasses on face) said, "Mmmm, it's good!"  Molasses and shortening with no sugar?  Yuck!  

By the time she licked the beater clean, we stripped her, wiped up hands and face and went for outfit #2 today.  Amazingly, she didn't get any in her hair!

This is my first attempt at uploading a video to the blog, so bear with me.  I'll test it to see if it works once it's posted.  The video is Lily and me singing her favorite song of late:  Hush Little Baby.  She mixes up the verses at the beginning, but she does know almost the whole thing when I sing it with her.  And, shockingly considering her 2 parents, she already has a sense of tune!

The Party: Celebrating 2 Years of Liliana

I just finished reading 8 pages of memories of Lily's birth that I typed up just a few days after she was born.  That seems like FOREVER ago!  So much has happened, and labor and delivery (blessedly) seem so far in the past.  But then, too, it's gone by so quickly!  Have I cherished each moment?  Have I made the most of each day?  Have I taught her all that she needs to know thus far?

The answer to each of those questions is, in some ways yes and in some ways no.  But here is what I do know: each birthday, each year, each day is worth celebrating.  So, we celebrate birthdays at our house!

Lily was born on a very special day - she was born on my older brother's 30th birthday.  But the thing is, he died when he was only 17 years old.  So her birthday, in particular, is a great reminder to me to celebrate each and every birthday and even every day, because you're never assured of another.  I, myself, have been critical of the way others celebrate birthdays.  "They invite too many people," I've said.  "That party was so overwhelming," I've commented.  "I wonder how much money they spent," I've whispered judgmentally to my long-suffering husband.

But yesterday, again, I was reminded that it's not important HOW you choose to celebrate, but simply that you DO celebrate especially each year with your loved ones.  They are SO valuable, and such a blessing!  So I'll get off my little "celebrate however you choose to, but make sure you celebrate" soap box and get to the good stuff:  Lily's party!  Here is how it went...

Saturday, Lily's birthday and the day of the party, she napped at Grandma Becky's house so Daddy and I could get the house ready and decorated.  Grandma Becky brought Lily to the house about 30 minutes before anyone else got there, so she had a chance to take it all in.  I got her first reactions on video, and it was hilarious!  The first thing she saw as she walked into the house was her cake/present table:

As she walked in and saw everything, her little mouth hung open and she just looked around for a solid 20 seconds - mouth hanging open in a big "O" the whole time!  Then she got this look on her face for the rest of the day:

We had a VERY happy little girl on our hands.  She noticed (and obsessed) over the cupcakes throughout the party...

Her daddy caved and let her have a little one before anyone got to the house, and I think it was a good thing, because she was on a sugar high and didn't get shy when people got here.  Our theme was a "Zoo Party" (going off of the fact that Chase and my gift to her was her trip to the zoo).  And here was how we partied like animals:

Chocolate penguin cupcakes with white frosting and Oreo faces and wings.  They were on a bed of coconut with pretzel rods dipped in chocolate making up their cage.  (The cage looks kinda cool, but seriously for all you DIYers out there - DON'T DO IT!  It was the most complicated part of the whole cake process...)

What's a zoo party without lions?!?  Funfetti cake with caramel corn manes and M&M ears.

These were supposed to be monkeys.  But Lily called them bears.  And Wendy called them pigs.  Maybe they're the missing link.  I'm really not sure, but they tasted delicious!  Chocolate cake with M&M's for ears.

And last but certainly not least (and my favorite!), elephants.  Even though the Henry Doorly Zoo does not currently have elephants, we still celebrated as if we'd seen them the day before.  Ears out of pretzels dipped in white chocolate that we colored with a bit of black food coloring.  Trunks of white chocolate I made with the left overs from dipping the ears.

We had an entirely themed menu as well that included Monkey Snack bananas, Elephant Food peanuts,

Chimp Chips, Tiger Tails cheetos,

Sloppy Joeys (joeys are baby kangaroos for those of you like my husband who had no idea what a joey was...),

Zoo Keeper Salad, and Rabbit Food veggies.  Aaaaand my photo-bombing husband.  (That's what you get, dear, when you photo-bomb my pictures.)

After supper Lily opened her presents, which was fun to watch.  She loves every single gift she got, and took a minute to play with each thing.  She got great basic toys that we were missing like blocks and cars.

The above car was her favorite - a gift from my grandparents.  When you hook it up to it's key and push a button, it zooms across the floor.  Lily was so thrilled with this toy that she didn't want to open the rest of her presents!  I actually had to bribe her with cupcakes.  It went something like this, "Lily, do you want a cupcake?"  "YES!" (as she drops the car and turns to run for the cake table).  "Then you have to open your last 3 presents."  My mom commented, "You'll never have to do that again!"  :)  I can never remember being more excited about cake than I was about presents, but my girl does love her sweets...

In the end, she was glad she opened the last 3 presents.  As soon as she pulled the book out of the present from Grandma Gayle, she ran over and asked her to read it - that is definitely my girl!

And the above is the rocking chair that I had when I was little, but it wasn't as cute then.  My mom redid the chair for Lily.  She likes rocking in it now, but I suspect that when baby brother or sister comes along and I am rocking in my rocking chair a lot, she'll be extra excited to have her own big girl rocking chair to rock her dollies along with me.

We finished the evening by eating cupcakes and playing with Lily's new toys.  By 8pm, she was one very, very, very tired little girl and despite her best efforts at a sugar high, she was tanking.

Thanks to our family who came to celebrate our dear girl with us - we are so grateful for each of you and the role you play in her life.  And for our family and friends who were not at the party, please know that we love you and are grateful, too, for all that you invest in our Lily.

Here's to 2 years, and hoping for many, many, many more!  We love you Liliana Jo!