It finally happened... BLECH!!!!!!

That last blog post - the one about the diet - well, we're still on the diet, but my attitude has, mercifully (for all of us) shifted.  The change took place after I wrote the blog post.  See!  I told you this is how I process things!  :)  I moved from denial and hatred on Tuesday to acceptance and optimism on Wednesday.  Since Wednesday I've been researching recipes and substitutions, I've been meal planning and grocery shopping, I've been cooking and doing dishes, and doing dishes, and doing dishes, and doing more dishes.

I feel like Tuesday was a long time ago, but maybe that's just because I haven't had any simple carbs, sugar, yeast, or bread of any kind since then.  Lily has gotten very good at making and bringing me the only kinds of sweets I can have: pretend ones...

(Her face in this picture cracks me up, because it's exactly how I feel about this whole diet nonsense.  It's like she's looking at me and her little face is saying, "Mom, plastic cake, really?  That's the closest you can get to sugar?  Really?)

I've made quinoa (a new favorite in our house) twice, brown rice once, and other than that, it's been lots and LOTS of veggies and meat.  I've been pleasantly surprised at the things I find myself enjoying these days - things I would have casually walked past at a church potluck (you know those "salads" with all those ingredients you don't *quite* recognize?), I am now eating by the pot full.

Yesterday, Lily and I spent most of the day in town getting groceries and other necessities, and it took a while to find some things.  For example, rutabaga - who knew it was in the refrigerated section next to the beets?  Also, beets.  Who knew they were right there by the ginger?  Etc, etc, etc...

I even found almond butter without additives in the stinky section at HyVee.  I call the natural foods section the stinky section because ALL natural food sections/stores smell *exactly* the same.  Why is that?  What is it about not putting sugar or food coloring or other additives in things that makes those aisles smell horrible?  Also, how does the rest of HyVee not stink?  It's incredible!

I also found buckwheat flour in the natural foods section at HyVee.  It may actually offer some explanation as to why that aisle stinks.

Up until tonight we've liked just about everything new I've made.  We may have little differences of opinion about things - I don't mind the homemade yogurt whereas it's not Chase's preferred snack, and I love avocado in salads and he simply doesn't prefer it - but on the whole, we've found good, even tasty, things to eat.  But then...

But then tonight I tried a recipe for so-called "bread."  With very few ingredients on the list (water, baking soda, salt, eggs, and buckwheat flour), I only had to buy one special ingredient, and could you really go wrong with "flour?"  The answer to that question is a resounding YES!!!!

I dumped my other ingredients into the bowl, measured the buckwheat flour and stirred.  The odd gray/brown consistency was different but not totally crazy.  It looked kind of like bread made with dark fruit mixed in or something.  I smelled the flour bag - no smell or hint of what was to come.  So I put the glob of dough in a pan set the timer for 35 minutes and stuck it in the oven.

About 30 minutes into the cook time an aroma stench began emanating from my oven.  I turned on the oven light - all looked well!  It looked like a nicely browning top of a loaf of dark bread.  *Maybe it will smell differently as it finishes cooking and cools,* I naively thought.  Five minutes later I removed the "bread" from the oven and dumped it out of the pan.

It was dark.  It was springy.  It was the right looking consistency and feel.  I couldn't help myself!  It looked like chocolate bread!!!  I cut a piece.  It didn't feel quite right and oh my.  The smell.  I took the tiniest pinch of it from the heel I was holding and stuck it in my mouth.  I chewed once.  I bent over the plate with the bread and spit all that I could onto the top of the remaining loaf.

There's only one other time I had that kind of reaction to food.  It was in college when my roommate and I went to a Greek place to eat.  I don't like olives to begin with, but she talked me into trying a kalamata olive. I very nearly puked right there in the restaurant.  Fortunately for me and everyone else there I managed to spit it out before anything too embarrassing happened, but it was close.

"Buckwheat bread" is not bread for eating at all.  I can think of tons of things it might be good for, like as couch cushion stuffing, or as something to sit a the bottom of your trash can and soak up all the liquid that inevitably drips to the bottom of the bag (don't you hate it when there's a tiny hole that leaks a trail of drips across your floor!), or it would be a great option for punishing society's worst offenders.  I can just see the judge handing down the sentence:  "Guilty.  427 years to life in a maximum security facility.  And buckwheat bread for life."  The sentenced begs on hands and knees, "No judge!  Not that!  Anything but that!  I did it.  I deserve 427 years in the slammer - I'll go to the grave straight from my cell, but NOT BUCKWHEAT BREAD!!!!!"

*Side Note* If anyone has need of a partially used bag of buckwheat flour, I have one.  And it is free to any chump person who is foolish brave enough to take it.  Message me on Facebook if you're interested.

So now I'm in bed blogging about how horrific the bread was, and the bread is stuffed in the trash can.  To brighten the end of the day, here are a couple of recent pictures of Lil.  Nothing brightens a bad situation like she does:

(sporting Mommy's gloves.  This girl knows style.)